People dropping out.. :(

candice245 · May 2012

Anyone else having your guests tell you at the last minute that they aren't coming anymore? I have had 10 people since I have given in my final numbers say that they aren't able to make it anymore.. with some lame excuse. I am taking it personally, like they just don't give a sh*t about us so they aren't trying hard enough to make it to the biggest day of our lives! ugh, just about in tears... not to mention we have put in our final numbers already (because my wedding is in 4 days!!!!) so those people we will have to pay for anyways... I am trying to fill the seats but I think it is kind of rude to ask someone 4 days before the wedding, oh by the way can you come?! ugh. Needed to vent!!

chansed · May 2012

Ughhhhhhhhhhh that would be annoying! Thankfully nobody has done this to us..

chansed · May 2012

Ughhhhhhhhhhh that would be annoying! Thankfully nobody has done this to us..

michellep1 · May 2012

I'm from the June 2012 board, I just came over to check out what I can look forward to next month, but I thought maybe I could suggest something. Were there any people that maybe weren't invited with a date or didn't respond with a date at the time, and now they have a significant other? If so, I would reach out to them and let them know that their SO is welcome, maybe that could fill a few seats.

We went to a wedding last summer and my sister started dating someone between RSVPing and the wedding and the family called her to let her know he was welcome. I know she appreciated it, even though he didn't end up coming.

tdmaus · May 2012

Ugh! That is so rude of your guests! No-shows and last minute cancellations are also one of my biggest fear for our wedding day... people don't realize that we already paid for them! It's not cheap! If they already committed via RSVP, they should at least show up for a few hours! Hope you still enjoy your big day this weekend!!

RivieraBound · May 2012

This is also one of my biggest fears. WIth my crowd, they are used to weddings being somewhat of a pot luck or what not, and very laid back. I am scared people are going to blow off the wedding and not think anything of it. I have joked that I will be sending any no shows a bill.

geojam224 · May 2012

At the stage I'm in, I would REALLY APPRECIATE drop outs, we went way over on invites and got screwed, but I'd be SUPER PISSED if we went over budget, then people dropped when it was too late. I'm sorry for your grief :-( I agree with the michellep1 about reaching out to people that declined a Plus One. Great idea!

delia87 · May 2012

I had a lot of people drop out too. At first I was hurt but then I thought about the wonderful people who are going to be there. In the end the only two people I care about showing up is my FI and the officiant. I'm sure your wedding will be great even if they will not be there.

jennamarie10 · May 2012

I've had 4 people so far say they can no longer make it ("My son has prom and I just remembered!" Really?!) but I'm just hoping nobody bails day of. Our wedding is 2 hours from my hometown and 4 from FI's so I can see it happening!

Melissa51212 · May 2012

Boo..they tell you to plan on a few last minute drops...but it so annoying people don't realize how expensive it is! I'm sure we have a few no shows...fi invited some people I didn't think so be invited...I have a feeling they might forget lol

Soon2BSand · May 2012

We're 70 unanswered and drop outs too.

LOMLBOAT · May 2012

I've had 4 people say they can't come since we paid the final bill, which sucks, because you know if you may not be able to make it, why not tell me ahead of time so I can decide to count you or not. My venue made me list each person and their entree and table, so I would have had to leave people off tables, so we couldn't give a lower food count so we are paying for each and every meal. I wish now that I had left some people off (and just told them) so the no-shows and the people who backed out wouldn't be costing me so much money.

EDIT: I am having a Friday wedding, so I have a feeling that people are going to have a long day at work and just decide not to come to the wedding, which is my biggest fear to have empty tables at the wedding, how stupid that would look.

careydes · May 2012

4 days to go... yesterday my cousin called to tell me her daughter can't make it.. she is too busy working on her final project so she can finally graduate from college.

I get that graduating is important, but it's not like the project or my wedding popped up outta nowhere.

She said she was hoping to tell me with enough time so I could avoid having to pay for the extra plate. I was like, yeah, we submitted final numbers almost 2 weeks ago. Thanks, though. haha. That is probably rude, but I couldn't pull myself together enough to lie, and seriously have no idea how to politely say you screwed me out of a boat load of money.

AurorasEnvy · May 2012

Ugh, that's annoying. I feel really lucky that our venue lets us add/drop final numbers up until 5 days before the wedding. I'm glad I haven't given my final numbers because everything keeps changing!

FutureMrsW9 · May 2012

So far I've had 3 people back out. You're def not alone, and it happens. Don't worry about it too much. Just focus on the people who will be there for you - that's all that matters!

carrieloomis · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_people-dropping-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:9f701981-50e6-4403-be29-a6d903a28251Post:3780765f-42ee-4524-b667-d3662fa667a0">Re: People dropping out.. :(</a>:
[QUOTE]4 days to go... yesterday my cousin called to tell me her daughter can't make it.. <strong>she is too busy working on her final project so she can finally graduate from college. I get that graduating is important, but it's not like the project or my wedding popped up outta nowhere</strong>. She said she was hoping to tell me with enough time so I could avoid having to pay for the extra plate. I was like, yeah, we submitted final numbers almost 2 weeks ago. Thanks, though. haha. That is probably rude, but I couldn't pull myself together enough to lie, and seriously have no idea how to politely say you screwed me out of a boat load of money.
Posted by careydes[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Seriously? I get that it's annoying people have to drop out of coming, but graduating from college trumps a second cousin's wedding by far. I had a final project I worked on everyday for about a month. It's your wedding day, yeah, but other people have important things going on in their lives, too. </div>

careydes · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_people-dropping-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:9f701981-50e6-4403-be29-a6d903a28251Post:74e2eeef-7e54-4b40-8fd2-9b95ba3b272f">Re: People dropping out.. :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People dropping out.. :( : Seriously? I get that it's annoying people have to drop out of coming, but graduating from college trumps a second cousin's wedding by far. I had a final project I worked on everyday for about a month. It's your wedding day, yeah, but other people have important things going on in their lives, too.
Posted by carrieloomis[/QUOTE]

Oh, no... I definitely wans't saying that my wedding was more important than graduating college haha. Not in the least. It is definitely important for her to graduate from college... Way more than for her to be at my wedding. I guess I didn't explain myself well...

In fact there are lots of people missing my wedding for what I personally would consider less of a reason, but that's up to them, and I'm not one to judge.. People have priorities, and I'm sure I don't know the whole story, so I'm sorry they can't make it, and that's that.

FYI, in my family, second cousins aren't any less close to me than my first cousins.. but that's neither here nor there.

My point is just that I'm bummed out... Mostly that she can't make it, when I was really excited for her to be there, and yeah, some of that is that I feel this was avoidable... she probably knew about the project way ahead of time, and if she had started working on it ahead of time, would have known if she would be able to complete it, even with taking an afternoon off to come to my wedding, or if she would be cutting it too close. It's not like I had my RSVP date in February or anything.

I'm proud of her for graduating... and I would never take that away from her... I'm really just sad that she can't make it, and it sure doesn't hurt less when I find out 5 days before the wedding.

ETA: Mostly my post was to convey that I had no idea how to answer the question about if they told me in time to avoid paying for nothing. The answer is no. But I don't care about the money, I'd rather hav e my cousin there to spend time with her. I couldn't find a good way to say that on the spot. I was hoping to find a better way in case I get any other 'whoops, sorry' calls.

carrieloomis · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_people-dropping-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:9f701981-50e6-4403-be29-a6d903a28251Post:7ad55039-9181-4871-a162-bdebdf9edd46">Re: People dropping out.. :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People dropping out.. :( : Oh, no... I definitely wans't saying that my wedding was more important than graduating college haha. Not in the least. It is definitely important for her to graduate from college... Way more than for her to be at my wedding. I guess I didn't explain myself well... In fact there are lots of people missing my wedding for what I personally would consider less of a reason, but that's up to them, and I'm not one to judge.. People have priorities, and I'm sure I don't know the whole story, so I'm sorry they can't make it, and that's that. FYI, in my family, second cousins aren't any less close to me than my first cousins.. but that's neither here nor there. My point is just that I'm bummed out... Mostly that she can't make it, when I was really excited for her to be there, and yeah, some of that is that I feel this was avoidable... she probably knew about the project way ahead of time, and if she had started working on it ahead of time, would have known if she would be able to complete it, even with taking an afternoon off to come to my wedding, or if she would be cutting it too close. It's not like I had my RSVP date in February or anything. I'm proud of her for graduating... and I would never take that away from her... I'm really just sad that she can't make it, and it sure doesn't hurt less when I find out 5 days before the wedding. ETA: Mostly my post was to convey that I had no idea how to answer the question about if they told me in time to avoid paying for nothing. The answer is no. But I don't care about the money, I'd rather hav e my cousin there to spend time with her. I couldn't find a good way to say that on the spot. I was hoping to find a better way in case I get any other 'whoops, sorry' calls.
Posted by careydes[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Gotcha. I know that a lot of final projects can tak a lot of time. I sort of know how you feel but I had to put myself in check which is why I responded to your post. My cousin was supposed to come to my wedding, she graduated early from highschool, then her family moved across the country with her (not forcefully lol). She hated her highschool, but all of a sudden she wants to walk at her HS graduation--the same weekend of the wedding. I was a little irritated but I realized that highschool graduation is a big stepping stone so if she wants to walk across the stage, even though its at a high school she hates, then she should be able to do so. It sucks she can't be there, but it is what it is :)

</div>

careydes · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_people-dropping-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:9f701981-50e6-4403-be29-a6d903a28251Post:8bd7f567-db6f-4ce3-a664-7e757f252714">Re: People dropping out.. :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: People dropping out.. :( : Gotcha. I know that a lot of final projects can tak a lot of time. I sort of know how you feel but I had to put myself in check which is why I responded to your post. My cousin was supposed to come to my wedding, she graduated early from highschool, then her family moved across the country with her (not forcefully lol). She hated her highschool, but all of a sudden she wants to walk at her HS graduation--the same weekend of the wedding. I was a little irritated but I realized that highschool graduation is a big stepping stone so if she wants to walk across the stage, even though its at a high school she hates, then she should be able to do so. It sucks she can't be there, but it is what it is :)
Posted by carrieloomis[/QUOTE]

Rereading it, I realized I probably came off like I thought my wedding was more important than her college grad. haha. :) It's hard to keep ourselves in check, sometimes, but that's what we're all here for! :)

caitlinc09 · May 2012

I hope this doesn't happen to us, but I have a horrible feeling that it will

kimberlykh · May 2012

We had eight people drop out in the last week. All for legit reasons health so I wasn't mad. Disappointed yes. Luckily, we just sent in our final numbers yesterday so we weren't out .

ladychambers83 · May 2012

Yup got a few drop outs... with dumb a$$ excuses too! Whatevs! No point crying over spilt milk, their loss!

mandi921vh · May 2012

We had two couples back out after saying yes. They had very good reasons for not being able to come, told us as soon as they found out they wouldn't be able to make it and luckily it was all before our final numbers to the caterer.

IRJDLH514 · May 2012

we are lucky that our venue lets us give final numbers 3 days before the wedding. Hopefully we dont get people backing out. we only had 2 people who declined.

People dropping out.. :(

Re: People dropping out.. :(

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