Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

#1 Tip

Hey ladies! I am getting married next June and I was hoping to get some pointers from some verterans :-) What is the #1 tip you would like to give to brides that you wish someone had told you while planning your wedding?
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Re: #1 Tip

  • SKPMSKPM member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_1-tip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:3da7d24b-0f04-4d15-bdc4-519ed04c480cPost:ce99a2d0-10b4-433e-b739-71811d0dc3aa">#1 Tip</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey ladies! I am getting married next June and I was hoping to get some pointers from some verterans :-) What is the #1 tip you would like to give to brides that you wish someone had told you while planning your wedding?
    Posted by MedStudent13[/QUOTE]
    You don't need to share every single detail with every single person that asks. It was fun for a while -- telling people about our colors, venue, music selections, ideas for every other aspect of the wedding -- but the inevitable feedback got old really quickly. If someone isn't paying for a particular item/service, and if you don't genuinely want their opinion (I totally trusted my roommate to tell me that one of my processional songs was weird, for example), then don't share it. "We have it covered," "We want that to be a surprise for the guests!", and "Thanks for your idea, we'll consider that," are phrases that I recommend inserting into your vocabulary ASAP. Those, and get comfortable with changing the subject.

    I don't mean to sound jaded; I got married 3 weeks ago and it was amazing and perfect and I wouldn't do anything differently. But planning was a lot easier when I once I started keeping the specifics between me, my FI, and, on a need-to-know basis, the parties that were contributing financially. Best of luck with everything!

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  • kipnuskipnus member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Decide with your FI what your priorities are and eliminate the extras. We decided that our top three priorities were photography, my dress, and having our reception at our favourite restaurant. We didn't bother with favours, programs, flower girls, ring bearers, or centerpieces. You don't need to do much decorating if you pick a pretty venue!
  • Don't go into it expecting anything from your bridal party  People will tell you that the only thing your bridal party has to do is to buy their dress/suit and show up and that's true.

    Don't expect them to want to listen to every little detail or help you make programs or to throw you parties.  If they do, that's great but seriously don't expect them to. 

    You read about a lot of girls being disappointed by their BMs on here. 
    weddingcake-1
  • A small detail:
    Find a clear deodorant for the day of if you don't normally wear one. We had our first kiss and then I gave H a big hug and then I looked at him before pictures and I had gotten my white deodorant all over his black tux. Ooops.

    Also, don't bother trying to please everyone because it will never happen and will ultimately make you miserable. Focus on what's important to you and your FI and let that guide your planning.
    June 16, 2012
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  • edited July 2012
    I have a couple of tips in my married bio, which is in my signature.

    My biggest hint is to watch your purchases in the month or two leading up to your wedding. Once you book photographer and venue and florist, you get used to seeing hundreds or thousands of dollars for things. Don't let this fool you into thinking you can buy small priced items and not worry about budgeting for them.
  • After weeks of fighting with my parents over the venue (they were paying and wanted it at a place that was beautiful, but very expensive, and my husband and I wanted to have something less expensive because we felt bad), we realized that, despite the fact that it felt like there were many things that weren't really "our choice," we'd ultimately wind up with a beautiful wedding and that every choice - EVERY choice - made after that would be ours.  People, mostly family, will want to put their hands in and you will want to fight many of their choices, but if you choose your fights carefully, you will wind up with a beautiful day and a life that belongs to you and your husband and only you and your husband.

    Well, at least that's what I wound up saying to myself after the 8th time my folks and I hung up on each other:-P

    Enjoy your wedding - Every part of it!

  • My number one tip would be to really try to be in the moment the day of your wedding. I spent half the day feeling like it was someone else's wedding, and it took awhile for it to really hit me, and during the reception, it still was all a little surreal. I wish I had taken a moment to myself before going into the reception just to soak everything in and really get into the moment more. It really does go by so quickly!

    My second biggest tip is to have a must have picture list, and go over it a few times to make sure you're not missing anything. I somehow did not include pictures of the flower girl and ring bearer in our must haves, and I'm super sad about that. Also, I didn't think I'd have to tell my photographer to get close ups or shots of the important ceremony moments, but somehow mine managed to miss me walking down the aisle with my dad, not get a good picture of our unity ceremony, rings, or first kiss. So just make sure to point those out, no matter how good you think your photographer is!
  • Don't skimp on your photographer!!!! And research them, A LOT!

    Anniversary
  • Don't pack your schedule so full on the wedding day that you don't get time to ENJOY it yourself and take it all in.


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    Vacation
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2012
    I wore 4 inch high heels. And my dress was hemmed for 4 inch high heels. During the reception, I took my heels off and switched to flip flops. Now all of the sudden my dress is dragging on the floor. My seamstress has told me to buy Rocketdog's (google them, they are horribly ugly platform flip fops.) She said that no one will see them so it doesnt matter. I just couldnt bring myself to buy such ugly shoes that I knew I would never wear again. I should have! H stepped on my dress right away (and torn it) and I was holding my dress up while I danced. It is silly but it matters.

    Everything else is pretty logically. Smile, Breath, spend time with your new H, accept taht your wont say hi to everyone, some times it rains.. get over it, build in extra time to your schedule in case you are running late, etc
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  • The only thing that went badly was the food. 

    Have a food tasting if you have never eaten a meal from the caterer.  Our food was horrid. .  The chicken was so DRY.  On top of the chicken was suppose to be sun dried tomatoes, feta, olives.  It was all mush.  The orzo was mush. The crabcakes seemed like they were from frozen.   WTF?  We found out somebody had a ladybug in their salad.  Oh and the salad had no consistency.  I had one tiny sliver of a carrot and my husband had like 20 carrot slices on his salad.  Hardly anybody touched their food.  The only thing that was delicious was the stuffed cherry tomatoes, buffalo mozzeralla and proscuiito skewers and these seasoned rolls.
  • Tip # 1: Don't stress about small details - chances are, that you're the only one that will miss them.

    Tip # 2: Eat at your wedding - we spent $6,000 + on food, didn't eat a bite and ended up with me in my dress and a car full of presents at McDonalds after the wedding. We had a happy meal in our honeymoon suite the night of our wedding. Not worth it - eat your food!
    Vacation White Knot
  • Great advice, thank you all for sharing :)
  • If at all possible, take at least a day or two in between your wedding and when you leave for your honeymoon.  H and I are both teachers, and since we have summers off, we were able to wait an entire week between our wedding and our honeymoon.  I strongly advise this.  By waiting a week, we had time to get all of our gifts organized, talk to family/friends about the wedding, and relax.  Plus, it gave us something to look forward to all week!  I realize not everyone has the luxury or ability ot be able to do this, but I would give yourself at least a full day to relax before you leave for your honeymoon.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_1-tip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:3da7d24b-0f04-4d15-bdc4-519ed04c480cPost:e9334df4-9808-458f-99a4-510ad8bda399">Re: #1 Tip</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a couple of tips in my married bio, which is in my signature. My biggest hint is to watch your purchases in the month or two leading up to your wedding. Once you book photographer and venue and florist, you get used to seeing hundreds or thousands of dollars for things. Don't let this fool you into thinking you can buy small priced items and not worry about budgeting for them.
    Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

    YES. This is such a good point. (She says as she looks sadly at the credit card bill covering the last weeks before the wedding...)

    Also, in response to another PP - I actually did buy some ridiculous wedge-heeled white flip flops that I found on big sale at an outlet store, and it was actually a really good idea. I wore them for the pre-ceremony photos and then switched back into them halfway through the dancing. They were a lifesaver.

    At one year out, where you are, my biggest *practical* tip would be to make sure you have a realistic idea of how many guests you're going to have BEFORE you book a venue. It's easy to get excited about a venue and plunk down a deposit, only to panic when your respective "must invite" lists add up to more than the venue can hold.
    Anniversary
  • ash273ukash273uk member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_1-tip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:3da7d24b-0f04-4d15-bdc4-519ed04c480cPost:648fb4da-529d-45a2-9199-c9cc1fff1f57">Re: #1 Tip</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: #1 Tip : YES. This is such a good point. (She says as she looks sadly at the credit card bill covering the last weeks before the wedding...) Also, in response to another PP -<strong> I actually did buy some ridiculous wedge-heeled white flip flops that I found on big sale at an outlet store, and it was actually a really good idea. I wore them for the pre-ceremony photos and then switched back into them halfway through the dancing. They were a lifesaver.</strong> At one year out, where you are, my biggest *practical* tip would be to make sure you have a realistic idea of how many guests you're going to have BEFORE you book a venue. It's easy to get excited about a venue and plunk down a deposit, only to panic when your respective "must invite" lists add up to more than the venue can hold.
    Posted by Turtle&Star[/QUOTE]

    I wore wedge flip flops the ENTIRE day...ceremony and all.  They were "dressy" bridal flip flops, but fip flops nonetheless.  My dress covered them up entirely.  No one knew, and I was comfortable all day. This might have been the best decision I made regarding my wedding.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_1-tip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:3da7d24b-0f04-4d15-bdc4-519ed04c480cPost:43d9daa5-062e-4939-8c65-25bd2da984f9">Re: #1 Tip</a>:
    [QUOTE]A small detail: Find a clear deodorant for the day of if you don't normally wear one. We had our first kiss and then I gave H a big hug and then I looked at him before pictures and I had gotten my white deodorant all over his black tux. Ooops. Also, don't bother trying to please everyone because it will never happen and will ultimately make you miserable. Focus on what's important to you and your FI and let that guide your planning.
    Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]

    Clear deodrant, I never would have thought!! Thats a great tip!
  • Hey, if we're doing "small but important things you never would have thought of," I've got another one: practice sitting down in your dress! I never even thought about this, but I only ever tried it on standing up. Then, on my wedding day, when my photographer had me sit down for some pre-ceremony photos, I discovered that my dress pulled down and showed a bit of my bra. I had a very small panic attack as I tried to figure out how to pull the dress up and/or the underwear down so that nothing would show.
    Anniversary
  • Do not listen to those who tell you "You must have this for your wedding".  The wedding industry, especially, will tell you this piece of kitch or that bit of fluff is absolutely necessary for a nice wedding.  Even on the knot board, you will see tons of posts about programs and centerpieces and escort cards and STD cards and...you name it.

    But in the end, for a marriage to take place you need a bride, a groom, an officiant, and a license.  Make sure all of the extras that you add for your wedding are extras that YOU want...not something someone tells you that you need.
  • edited August 2012
    I have a lot of advice but my number one tip is: 

    Enjoy the day, don't stress over the little details, because before you know it, it will be over and all that hard work will be paid off. Enjoy it and remember the little things! The day or weekend goes by so quickly! 

    I agree with the previous posters though: Think about the three to five things that are important to you. Nobody will notice the favors or centerpieces so spend money where it counts. We wanted everyone to have a good time at the reception so we spent our money on food and alcohol. I wanted a nice dress but I ended up getting something that was "off the rack" cause it flattered me the most (and I received many compliments). 

    Also don't expect your bridesmaids to do everything for you. Their only requirement is to buy a dress and show up and stand up with you. Pick and choose who you want but think about it for awhile to limit drama possibiltiies (I waited five months to ask my girls). Honestly low expectations and a bridal party that gets along really helps you in the long run!! 

    Good Luck and have fun! 


    Anniversary
  • Surround yourself with people who love you and can calm you down and make you feel like yourself. I am a high anxiety person who stresses very easily.  I woke up the morning of the wedding completely sick to my stomach to the point where I worried I had the flu because I was so anxious about everything going smoothly.  Luckily, when I chose my bridal party, I picked all of my best friends who are hysterical, supportive, no drama, and wonderful, reliable friends.  As soon as they arrived at my mom's house that morning and we started having breakfast and getting ready, I relaxed, my stomach calmed down, and I began to have fun.  When you're choosing your bridal party, choose the people who you can't imagine not having with you that day--don't worry about feeling obligated to ask anyone who won't make you happy and relaxed.
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