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Mother of the Groom - Completely Removed

Dassie snoopDassie snoop
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in Moms and Maids
I'm really struggling t ocome to terms with the way my future Mother in law has behaved since our engagement in January. We have enjoyed a good relationship with both our families throughout our relationship and his Mother was always asking excitedly when her son was going to pop the question. We do tend to spend more time with my family on the whole as, being of Italian descent that is just how we are. My family also makes alot more effort. This has been an under current issue with my future MIL, that often recieves snarky comments.

When we got engaged my fiance's parents were out of cell phone signal range in the countryside for the day, so een though we phoned our Mothers first, I could only leave a excited message on MIL's phone. She unfortunately only picked up the message by 7pm that eveining by which stage we were well into celebrations with my family.

Clearly miffed that she didn't have the news earlier, the 'congratulatory' phonecall went something like this: ' Hi, congratulations on the news. I must just warn you that marraige is terribly difficult and you're going to have to work at it everyday'. Wow!! Talk about a mood killer!! Is it really expecting somuch to say 'we're so happy for you both, welcome t othe family, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful wife to my son....'????? Anything positive??

Since then she has not picked up the phone even once to ask if I need any help, if they could have us round for a congratualory dinner, nothing. My family has gone out of their way to share our happiness and excitement.

Just to put this into perspective my fiance is one of 4 brothers (all of whom I get on very well with and adore)...but yes MIL is a mother of 4 boys. My fiance is the oldest...and the first to  get married.

I really don't know what to do. I'm so upset, and it just gets more and more awkward the longer this inexplicable silence endures. I don't want to put him in the middle or cause a drama, but really now...this can't be normal???

Any advice would be much appreciated!!

Thanks
_K



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Re: Mother of the Groom - Completely Removed

  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited April 2012
    I think your FI needs to call her and apologize for any misunderstanding. You don't need this looming over you. Have him explain it, and then let her get over it. That's all that you can do at this point. And maybe you guys should make an effort to get together with them?

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  • redheadtmkredheadtmk member
    500 Comments
    I have to disagree to a point about not leaving the message for the ILs. We got engaged at the Grand Canyon last month where reception was spotty at best. I was very excited and did not want to wait until I had an appropriate call with my parents before I told my friends. Luckily I was able to have very choppy reception phone calls with my parents first. Also i have family overseas who I wanted to know first by message even if I did not get to talk to them. It would not have killed you to wait until the evening to tell them over the phone but I dont think it killed them to hear it in a message. I am sure it was disappointing to a degree but I hope as a parent I would understand the level of excitement and wanting to share it immediately. Of course important things are always spread third party in my family. It just depends on if my sister gets ahold of me or our mom first.
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