Catholic Weddings

symbolic gift for the poor?

FI and I have been reading through the Together for Life booklet and have started making selections for our Nuptial Mass.  Our next meeting with our priest isn't until after our October EE weekend, though, so I hope someone can answer my question in the meantime!

In the presentation of the gifts section, we have to check whether or not we will have a symbolic gift for the poor.  It's a yes or no option.  I'm the first of my generation to be married in my family, so I haven't been to a Catholic wedding in the US since I was young enough to not be paying attention to these specific details.   I was to FI's cousin's wedding in India a few years ago, and they brought up a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread in addition to the standard chalice and hosts, but I am not sure if this is what this is referring to.  FI is not sure either.

What do they mean by symbolic gift to the poor?  Are any of you doing this option?

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Re: symbolic gift for the poor?

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It's not part of the rubrics. This sounds like it was a made up practice in some area that took off for awhile. I've played 160 weddings and I've never seen it.

    However, that doesn't mean you can't take up a collection to donate to a charity (and announce it as such). This may be a sensitive issue though given it being such a "gift" type event.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_symbolic-gift-poor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:27ac1877-5595-4b65-af7c-23bb27943dccPost:0ceaf8df-3748-474e-ad44-23b8e1ca4ef9">symbolic gift for the poor?</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI and I have been reading through the Together for Life booklet and have started making selections for our Nuptial Mass.  
    Posted by christyhal[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>What do you think of <em>Together for Life? </em>We're in the process of using it, and we feel kind of overwhelmed!

    </div>
  • edited December 2011
    I am selecting no for the gift for the poor just because so many people in our family are not catholic and I don't think they would be expecting to donate money at our wedding.
    I think the together for life is a great book. I went through it and selected everything that I liked.
    Did your priest go over it at all with you before hand? Mine marked what parts I have to pick and the parts I can pick if I want to do an entire mass with the host or not.
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_symbolic-gift-poor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:27ac1877-5595-4b65-af7c-23bb27943dccPost:858109e5-af12-4e2e-844d-bde79d5a6432">Re: symbolic gift for the poor?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am selecting no for the gift for the poor just because so many people in our family are not catholic and I don't think they would be expecting to donate money at our wedding.
    Posted by crb3754[/QUOTE]

    It's not the same as the collection at weekly Mass. The gift is made by you and your FI, not the congregation or your guests. (I had this same concern because I didn't want to hit my guests up for money at my wedding.)

    Our priest said he was reviving this old tradition in our parish, and explained that it's a symbolic gift to a charity of our choice as a way to celebrate our marriage and the start of our life together. He also suggested that we celebrate milestone life events (anniversaries, births, promotions/raises at work, new home) by donating to a charity in order to share our gifts and good fortune with the less fortunate.

    He said that we could make a basket and fill it with items to donate - clothes, teddy bears for children, blankets, canned goods. We elected to donate to a local animal shelter, so we got canned food and toys and treats and put them in a basket, and my godmother brought them to the altar when MH's godmother brought up the Eucharistic gifts. We made a note of it in our ceremony program and provided the shelter's website for anyone interested in helping them out.

    He also said that we could just write a check if we wished, and bring that forward (he asked that we put it in an addressed, stamped envelope and he would mail it out for us after our wedding). He suggested that if we did a check, we find a way to wrap it like a present so that it actually looks like a "gift" to the community.
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the insight, ladies!  Glad we're not expected to have a collection from the guests at the wedding!!  FI and I will have to think about the charitable gift.  We pledged to the diocese's annual campaign, and we give to other charities from time to time, so not sure if we will do this other gift at the wedding to a separate charity other than the church.  It's not something I've ever seen before in our area.  Maybe.

    We are liking Together for Life so far.  There are a lot of good insights in the supporting materials for each reading.
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    Love 06/2005 | Marriage 05/28/2011 | Baby! Peanut born on his due date, 9/30/12 Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    We're doing a charitable gift in honor of the wedding, but we're not doing it publicly or making any sort of announcement of it during the ceremony.
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