Bridesmaid Out Of Wedding

ACORLETT412 · September 2012

My bachelorette party was last night, and long story short, was a disaster. My 1 bridesmaid for totally out of line and mad at my sister/MOH, then expected me to be on her side: she's my sister, of course I'm going to stick up for her. So now my entire bridal party hates her basically. this is the 3rd time since wedding planning shes caused trouble; she asked me if she should still be in the wedding, and I told her its probably be best if she stepped down out if the wedding. What do you guys think about this?

banana468 · September 2012

I feel like your post assumes anyone reading it was at your bachelorette.

It's impossible to know what occurred since we can only go by what was stated.

If you're ready to end a friendship then kick out a BM. I'll need more information to determine who is really in the wrong.

calliopeia2013 · September 2012

More info needed, but the long and short of it is that if whatever she did was so bad that you want to end your friendship with her, you should kick her out. If you think there's something left of the friendship to preserve, you should keep her as a bridesmaid and try to mend fences.

ACORLETT412 · September 2012

Well, we were downtown - and me and my other girls are not hge party people, or drinkers for that matter, and this particular BM is. She kept pushing to go to another area of downtown that No one else wanted to go to; My sister/MOH finally told her NO we are not going there, no one else wants to go there and are not comfortale going there, She blew up in front of her, calling her a b*tch, etc in front of all these people. Then she proceeded to tell me what a "b*tch" my sister was being - She's my sister, of COURSE I'm goin to side with her - triying to get me and all ny other girls to side with her, it was blown so outta proportion. then she had the nerve to tell me she's "not sorry" for anything today =\ I was crying at my party because of her and was crying today over it.

ACORLETT412 · September 2012

Another issue is I WORK with this girl 2 outta the 5 days a week. But disrespecting my SISTER was so not cool and I think it is for the best. Hopefully she will be civl in a work environment.

banana468 · September 2012

If she's fine screaming obscenities in public I don't think that speaks well for your work relationship.

Why did you ask her to be a BM in the first place?

ACORLETT412 · September 2012

Well at the time I asked her she was such a different person. We met in college in 2009, she was fun, normal. We related to each other, liked to do similar things, got along great. Then last year she broke up a her boyfriend of 9 years , and it seemed after that she's such a different person now. All of her high school friends have cut ties with her as well. I'm pretty much her last person left sadly

GoodLuckBear14 · September 2012

How drunk was she at the time she did this?

zitiqueen · September 2012

How old are all of you?

zitiqueen · September 2012

About to?

catloverd · September 2012

Honestly she doesn't sound like a good friend, but I think you two need to talk. It sounds out she took the break up hard and maybe seeing you get married is upsetting to her. She's probably jealous because her relationship didn't work out and now yours is.

Depending on how close you are, although I don't get why you would ask someone to be a BM if you aren't close, I would just talk to her about what is going on.

ACORLETT412 · September 2012

Sadly, No one had any drinks at this point. We're all 25 years old, and the BM that started this all the the oldest!! She's 27

Peledreamsofrain · October 2012

Ok, lots of drama, lots of things said.

At this point, you can't take back the request for this girl to step down. And quite frankly, I wouldn't encourage you to.

Honestly, omeone who screams obscenities in public at another person while NOT intoxicated or experiencing teenagerhood is a waste of carbon and time She lacks discretion, tact, manners, social skills, negotiation skills, communication capacity, and respect for others. Not aspects you want near you on your big day.

Just move forward, your decision has already been made, actions have been taken, and now you need to focus on the wedding.

TaraKeeley · October 2012

Her behavior was out of line, especially if she's not sorry for it after the fact. To argue the other side of it, though... have you talked to her since she's been going through this rough period of her life? Maybe she's in need of some support. That doesn't excuse her behavior, but if she's depressed or something, it'd be nice if someone reached out to her.

KateH2013 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-out-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4220870d-8b58-4033-b85b-31446b7c2c08Post:fbda0339-caf0-40c2-a136-2a12a0dd7cb4">Re: Bridesmaid Out Of Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Her behavior was out of line, especially if she's not sorry for it after the fact. To argue the other side of it, though... have you talked to her since she's been going through this rough period of her life? <strong>Maybe she's in need of some support. That doesn't excuse her behavior, but if she's depressed or something, it'd be nice if someone reached out to her.</strong>
Posted by TaraKeeley[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This. </div>

ACORLETT412 · October 2012

In Response to Re:Bridesmaid Out Of Wedding:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid Out Of Wedding:Her behavior was out of line, especially if she's not sorry for it after the fact. To argue the other side of it, though... have you talked to her since she's been going through this rough period of her life? Maybe she's in need of some support. That doesn't excuse her behavior, but if she's depressed or something, it'd be nice if someone reached out to her.Posted by TaraKeeleyThis.nbsp; Posted by KateH2013[/QUOTE]

I did help her when she broke up with her boyfriend of years, we even took a mini vacation together shortly after that too. But after that she just seems to go off the deep end, not sure what happened to her

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-out-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4220870d-8b58-4033-b85b-31446b7c2c08Post:525ff424-5d9e-4903-83c8-eca43e7644c3">Re:Bridesmaid Out Of Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridesmaid Out Of Wedding: I did help her when she broke up with her boyfriend of years, we even took a mini vacation together shortly after that too. But after that she just seems to go off the deep end, not sure what happened to her
Posted by ACORLETT412[/QUOTE]

Until you have been through a long term relationship breakup, you cannot even begin to imagine what goes on inside a person. My BFF got me through mine and it took a hell of a lot more than a mini-vacation. I swear she let me talk about this every single day for a year. I'm not exaggerating. Every. day. for. a. year. She also ran interference for me when another friend was wrapped up in her wedding.

rdavidson827 · October 2012

Sounds to me like you have washed your hands of this girl anyhow from the way you are talking. So what's the question?

erinlin25 · October 2012

I would just talk to her first; don't go to extremes unless its absolutely necessary. Not worth stressing you out. Sounds like your friend is just under a lot of stress herself and needs a friend right now. Talk to her-- maybe she will decide its just too much for her to handle right now and will opt to step down. Let her know she is important to you and you understand if its too much for her right now. Whatever the case be supportive. If she wants to stay, definiteky worth mending the friendship and moving forward. Try to mend the situation, and at the end of the day if this person is going to continue to cause drama and stress you out, then its your best interest to part ways. Hopefully you can be a friend to her and the sitiation will work itself out, in which you can both enjoy your wedding with her by your side.

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