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Gift for FMIL and FFIL

cgbabe229cgbabe229 member
100 Comments
in Connecticut
So we are starting to figure out our bridal party gifts and have figured most of them out at this point but my FI's parents are the one we're stuck on.  It's kind of tough only because I don't really get along with my FMIL at all, my FI really just puts up with her b/c she's his mother and neither of them have had anything (and I mean ANYTHING) to do with the wedding stuff.  Like I even just had my bridal shower this weekend and she didn't come because she was camping.  So I mean, really there's no reason to even get them a thank you gift since they haven't done anything and don't plan on it, but we are still trying to be nice and do the right thing.  Does anyone have any ideas of something that we can get them just to be nice but not really mean anything? 
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Re: Gift for FMIL and FFIL

  • bmetz34bmetz34 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    hmmm I'll be interested to see this answer cuz I'm in a similar situation...
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  • rswan412rswan412 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yikes...tough situation..maybe a gift cert to go out to eat or a bottle of wine?
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  • alexismurdaalexismurda
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I dunno...if they are just acting like guests with no involvement i'd treat them like any other wedding guest. We want to get all our parents gifts because they have been helping us plan everything...not just because they are our parents, if they weren't helping I probably wouldn't get them anything special....I dunno, maybe i'm too harsh but just my opinion.

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  • chrissybug17chrissybug17
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    This is not meant to sound bad but that said....since when is "doing the right thing" buying everyone and their brother a gift when you are getting married??? I mean I get the wedding party with their time and money put in but, the future spouse, the parents.... If parents are helping with the financials, ok maybe. But if they are helping because you and your betrothed can't afford it on your own, do they really expect you to buy them a gift on top of trying to help where ever you can to pay for your big day? Or allowing them to pay because you can't do it alone? I think that's kind of silly.
    By all means if all parties involved are financially secure (how many are these days really?) go ahead buy gifts but I agree, if the FILs are acting as guests, treat them as guests and if you have guilt or remorse offer them a photo of their choosing or better pick one you want them to have and frame it after the fact.

    And for anyone reading into this that I think the bride and groom should be the sole recipients of gifts, no I don't. It's about sharing a special day. Bring a gift, don't bring a gift. If you received and invite from me it's because I want you there not that I'm hoping for a present.

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  • heather0711heather0711
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_gift-fmil-ffil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:d6ccdc25-39c6-48d8-80a0-e88ce404aae6Post:6c3eec52-6f5c-4939-be90-6a2c1928a659">Re: Gift for FMIL and FFIL</a>:
    [QUOTE]I dunno...if they are just acting like guests with no involvement i'd treat them like any other wedding guest. We want to get all our parents gifts because they have been helping us plan everything...not just because they are our parents, if they weren't helping I probably wouldn't get them anything special....I dunno, maybe i'm too harsh but just my opinion.
    Posted by alexismurda[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm in an almost exact situation and what alexis said was exactly how I feel about the whole thing. If you don't want to participate, I'll be damned if I'm buying you a gift for showing up and putting on a show for you friends on my parents dime. </div>
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  • cgbabe229cgbabe229 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys.  My first thought was to just get a frame engraved with our names and wedding date on it and then to give them a wedding picture afterwards to put in it.  I only feel like it's the "right" thing to do because we will be giving everyone their gifts at the rehersal dinner and they would be the ONLY ones not receiving at least 'something'.  As much as I don't like them, I would still feel horrible for leaving them out completely.  I guess I'm too concerned with everyone else.  Believe me, if I had the balls, I would so just not give them anything and then when they ask why not, tell them off and explain all the crap they've put us through.  I don't know... such a tough situation!! AHH!!
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  • tas324tas324
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i think we are getting the parents small wedding albums as a keepsake after the wedding...our photographer is giving us the files and shutterbug has some cool options for printing
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