Who do you invite to rehearsal dinner? Kinda long...

mrskloop · January 2013

FI and I were talking about rehearsal dinner plans last night and we are stumped! Everyone will be coming from out of town, including us, so I can't just invite bridal party and oot guests. If we invite bridal party & their SO, that is 19 adults, plus us, our parents and we each have one grandma. But... then, FI has a cousin that is not in the bridal party, but he was raised by FI's mom and they are basically brothers since cousin's parents passed away when he was young. So, I would invite him (and his wife and 2 children)... but, then I feel like if I did that, then I would need to invite my aunts (4), plus their spouses, plus their children (2 adults, and 3 kids)... ugh! And FI's aunts (2), plus their spouses and adult children... and then, we would invite Officiant and their spouse (family friend of FIs). That's like 50 people.

Soooo... I feel like this just got out of hand and beyond budget (we will primarily be the ones paying for most of everything)! Would it be bad to just invite bridal party and their spouses (and children), our parents, Officiant and spouse, our grandmothers, and his cousin since he is immediate family? And then, at the grounds of the inn we will be staying at meet up with everyone for dessert and drinks? I don't want people to feel like they aren't included, soooo I don't know what to do...

mrskloop · January 2013

Oh, forgot to mention! We had already planned on having a mini-party the night before the wedding with drinks and lawn games (corn hole, bocce ball) so that we could spend time with everyone that came in town!

CALEO · January 2013

If you have a rehersal, then you need to invite everyone in the wedding and their spouses/dates to the rehersal dinner (to say thank you for their time). Inviting out of town guests or other family is optional. Host what you can afford!

semi891 · January 2013

I was about to make a RD post as well. My FMIL wanted to invite everyone out of town (ie, her friends) but that's 95% of the wedding guests. It gets way out of hand! I'm keeping it to immediate family, WP and their spouses. I think, especially if you are doing the bocce party in which you are including all the other family...just keep the rehearsal dinner small!

I think the bocce party is a great idea, we are doing something simliar to try and spend more time with out of town people we probably won't be able to spend much time with the day of. It's a fun pre-wedding activity!

ftrmrsw · January 2013

I'd say invite who you are closest too. If that includes Your wedding Party, Parents Grandmothers and FI's Cousin/likeabrother then invite them only. You dont need to invite everyone, they will see you the following day at the wedding.

I can understand that you don't want to hurt anyones feelings. However, that being said, I had that same kind of issue when my MOH planned our engagement party. She knew who in the family I was really close to and only invited those people. I never heard word from anyone who was not invited. No one was upset, no one made an issue over this.

I think people understand that is not "everyone" that goes to the rehersal. It is usually reserved for people playing a part in the day.

I'm so glad I don't have to worry about this. Being that my FIL's are super traditional (like sleep in seperate rooms under their roof-even though we live together-traditional.) they have offered to host our RD. Which was gladly handed over to them. One less thing we have to do and pay for!

DMoore421 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_who-do-you-invite-to-rehearsal-dinner-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:33458ea8-b0b2-4768-bb0f-f9553498d660Post:2e2f139f-1d7c-4da3-9eff-ee03ee20c37f">Re: Who do you invite to rehearsal dinner? Kinda long...</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, forgot to mention! We had already planned on having a mini-party the night before the wedding with drinks and lawn games (corn hole, bocce ball) so that we could spend time with everyone that came in town!
Posted by mrskloop[/QUOTE]

you can really count your mini party as your rehearsal dinner if you want - it doesnt have to be a formal dinner- have your rehearsal (if you are having one ) and then have your get together -
I am not having a rehearsal - and i will probably have a very informal get together the night before at a local bar - this will include out of towners and anyone else that wants to hang out the night before - I just dont plan on seeing FI after midnight

KSerafin17 · January 2013

I agree with PPs in that you do not need to host all of the OOT guests at the RD. I would say just the WP and your VIPs like grandparents and maybe your godparents? Other than that, I would just try to keep it small and intimate!

TayBeach2013 · January 2013

My mom was going down that path, because 99% of our guests will be OOTers. She stifled a fit when I said they don't really need to be there on Friday night. We're all staying at the same hotel and it will be off-season at the shore, so we will have the run of the place. FI and I will most likely have an informal dinner with our parents and WP, and then head back to the hotel for drinks with anyone else who decided to come down the night before.

gottadance64 · January 2013

Ours is bigger than expected, too, and we're not having out of town guests. Between the wedding party and SOs, the parents, my sis (MOH) 3 kids, my FI two college-aged kids, my FI bro and his daughter (ring girl), my FI grams, my bro and his wife (who aren't in the wedding, but he's my bro). We're at 26 - much larger than I expected.

Who do you invite to rehearsal dinner? Kinda long...

Re: Who do you invite to rehearsal dinner? Kinda long...

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