C & V Thursday

emilyb213 · October 2012

Happy Thursday, ladies!!

Let's get all those confessions and vents out before heading into the weekend...

emilyb213 · October 2012

Confession: My ten year reunion is this weekend. I'm a little nervous about seeing everyone again.

Vent: I haven't seen most of my classmates in 10 years, and of course I want to walk in looking fabulous and all that, buuuuutttt....yesterday I started getting a cold. I'm hoping that I can fight it off, because I really don't want to go to my reunion with a red nose, coughing, and carrying tissues with me.

cnf2013 · October 2012

Confession: I wish the girl they hired at my job would hurry up and find a place to live. As much as I like my huge mileage checks from covering two counties, keeping track of the paperwork for two counties is driving me nutty.

Vent: FI and I got in a little spat last night. He's a ten month employee at the college he works for, but they switched him a 12 month pay cycle, so his pay checks are smaller now. Because of that he opted to stop paying extra on our mortgage payments (which is fine, it's a3-5 year house so we're not concerned about paying it off early). He's also no longer going to have a cell phone payment after this month since my at&t contract is up and we're combining and I'll be paying the new bill. Plus our Time Warner bill just went up $30 because we're no longer on the first year deal. And once we turn our boiler on for the winter our NYSEG will go up $100+ a month. So the amount I pay in bills is about to go up roughly $200 a month where as his just went down $200 a month. Granted his paychecks also went down, but he still makes about 10K more than me a year and we pay bills based on our annual salaries. He makes more, so he pays more. That simple. But last night we got in a bit of an argument about it because I feel it's unfair for me to pay so much more all the sudden since he makes more. He tried to throw his car payment and student loan payments at me, but hello, I also have a car payment and student loan payments and I pay for grad school out of pocket. His car was paid off and he insisted he needed a new, very expensive car this spring, so that's his own fault whereas I'm currently stuck in a lease cycle that I can't seem to break out of. I don't make enough to save up a big enough down payment to get low enough payments to justify not leasing again. So this semi tense discussion was followed by watching the debate. I made the mistake of making fun of the smirk on Rmoney's face and FI lost his sh!t. We have pretty opposite political stance which normally don't matter, we're both very capable of having a civil political discussion. But last night he blew up about how hard it is to be young and republican because everyone posts stuff on facebook about liberal swayings and it's always in his face and blah blah blah. I made one stupid, superficial comment and he completely lost it. It was so flucking stupid. I freaking hate talking politics and he knows it, so his little outburst was totally uncalled for. We're all good today, but still. My goodness. I skipped my morning workout this morning because arguing kept me up until almost midnight and I usually get up at 6 and when my alarm went off I just couldn't do it. I didn't get nearly enough sleep.

Holy novel, sorry. I haven't participated in C&V in a while, haha.

Samela20 · October 2012

This is very good timing as I need to vent realllly bad right now.
I have been holding back tears for too long and this morning I couldn't stop them. I hate my life right now. I just finished school. but my employer cut my hours and I'm barely scraping by, everyone seems to think I'm some dumb lazy b*tch. Well guess what If you were working your ass off trying to find a job and NO ONE was aknowledging that you would get kind of pissy too!! My brother and FI work together, so all I hear my FI talk about when he gets home is how much of an ass my brother is and 20 minutes ago my brother sends me a text saying that my FI has been saying sh*t about ME and me not having a job yet... so now I'm sitting here crying because it just feels like nobody understands how much stress I'm under! they don't understand that I'M the one who'll get in trouble for not paying my loan, I'M the one whose car will get taken if I can't pay the bill, I'm the one whose phone will get shut off, I'M the one who will have to pull my daughter from her extremely saught after daycare and lose her spot because I can't pay for it... I'm supposed to be happily planning our wedding and I can't because I have no money and no one gets that.
I hate this. I hate how I feel right now. I hate that I'm jealous of all of you who get to happily plan your wedding...

Mikesgal419 · October 2012

Samela, HUGS!!! Big Hugs!! My FI is worried about the same thing. He's going for his Masters s in mental health and he is terrified that after we are married (he finishes school a week before the wedding), that he will have gone through all of that for nothing. That he won't be able to find a job. I was going to look at a house that I have been interested in for awhile, but when he told me his worries, I told him that I don't want to add pressure so, I won't even look. Unfortunately, that means that my kids, FI and I will be living with my mom until we are financially able to get a house.

Vent: UGH!!! I feel so gross lately. I'm not sure if it's because TOM (Time Of Month) is coming soon or just because I've gained 10 of the 25 lbs I lost since living with my mom. I am so tired lately that I don't even have any energy to excercise. I honestly don't like looking at myself in the mirror lately. FI says that I'm beautful, but I just don't feel it. I have to puck up my wedding dress on Sat and I am NOT even looking forward to it.
Also, I am so tired of people posting political crap on FB. UGH!!
K, I'm done.

cnf2013 · October 2012

Samela, I totally can empathize with you. Last year after my teaching position got hacked down to practically nothing I chose not to go back and started looking for a new job. It took me eight months to find something and by then I was so exhausted and felt so defeated. It's really demoralizing being put in that position and until others have been there they just don't get it. I cried so much when I was unemployed, FI and I fought all the time. He would get on me for not looking enough, or not putting myself out there right, but it's really difficult and after a while the constant rejection and exhaustion from endless searching and worrying about keeping your head above financial waters just gets to be too much.

I think you and your FI should have a conversation later, after you've reset your emotions a bit, about how you feel and how he should be more supportive because you are trying your hardest. It makes things more difficult when the one person who should be compassionate to your situation isn't and he needs to realize that.

Good luck, and just keep trucking along. Things will start to look up sooner or later.

emilyb213 · October 2012

Aw, Sam, keep your chin up. I'm not sure if you've looked into any of these things yet, but if you contact the bank that holds your car loan and explain your situation, they may be willing to defer a payment or two. Your phone company may be the same way (one of my sisters just had to do this). If you have student loans, call that servicer as well and ask if you have any deferral options. Companies and banks are usually willing to work with you if you're proactive about it.

And I agree with what cnf said about talking to your fiance. He may not realize how hurtful it is to you that he isn't being supportive.

Good luck; I hope everything works out for you and things turn around quickly.

cnf2013 · October 2012

Oh yeah, student loans! You can call and have them changed to "income based" payments, which will greatly reduce the monthly payment. Especially since your hours got cut. They may even defer them. My MOH is a TA a private school and doesn't make enough to actually have to pay them at all being "income based" until she either gets a raise or gets a better paying job.

lovefuzzies · October 2012

Group HUG for samela!!!!!! Hang in there, it'll be ok and hopefully soon!

C: I could just throttle my mother right now. Which brings me to my vent...

V: My mother is flip flopping back and forth on whether or not she wants to be involved in wedding planning/talk. Initially she said she didn't want to do anything with the wedding. Fine, whatever, so I just stopped talking about it with her. No problem, right? My feelings were very hurt but I'd eventually get over that. Over the last month she's slowly inserting herself and her opinions about the wedding into my happy little wedding world. What happened to not wanting to be involved? And we have such different opinions on the way a wedding should be done that I'm about ready to send her on a nice walk...off a short pier. To add to my hurt, I'm now angry that she's trying to force her views and opinions on me and FI and FI is furious with my mother and says if she tries to give us any money for the wedding I'd better decline it. I'm frustrated with FI for that statement because, geez, does he think I don't know not to take it? Money always comes with strings attached when it comes from my mother! To top it off I was supposed to go to the lake house in two weeks with FI and he UNINVITED me! His brother is coming down and I get that his brother needs to get away from everything and he's having a VEARY hard time right now but the un-invitation made me feel really horrible. FI apologized for making me feel awful but it doesn't suck any less.

Oh holy tomcat I'm whiney. Ugh, sorry ladies.

cadamus · October 2012

Samela- I know exactly what you mean. i work 2 days a week with having to pay for utilities, groceries, cell phone, gas, student loans plus stuff for the wedding!

Confession: I'm so pissed i could punch some one! (im not violent)

Vent: So I sent out my save the dates sunday and my family and friends are starting to get them. My friend, "Kay", posted on my facehook that they were so cute and she is happy they came when they did bc her family is planning a trip to Brizal for a couple of weeks. and they were trying to figure out when they would leave. Kay is doing my makeup for my wedding so she wanted to make sure she was there. Well a girl, we will call her "Sam" (I was close to her in high school but not any more) saw the post about save the dates and ask one of my other friends (marie) if she got a save the date. Well Marie told her the truth and shes helping me out setting up the reception site since we can not go in until the morning of and i will be getting ready. Well Sam flipped out bc she wasnt invited. I havent talked to her since february-march. She hasnt tried contacting me or anything. She had talked behind my back to Marie saying that she should be in my wedding and some of the people in it shouldnt be. She thinks bc i was suppose to be in her 2 weddings (both of which she called off and the one was a month before the wedding) that she should be invited. And then she went to marie saying stuff about how she wasn't invited. I'm sorry that Fi and I are paying for the whole reception and dont have the money to invite everyone in the world. We left it down to Family, wedding party and a few people that are helping us out. But other then that we didn't invited a lot. (i have a big family! so fi invited a few of the ppl that we are both friends with to have there to round out his list) I just don't understand why someone can assume as much as she did. It's just frustrating. And I'm sorry if I am wrong but i just can't invite some one who doesnt try to stay in contact when i try.

KplusA · October 2012

Ugh this was a hard week at work, and I'm tired from not sleeping enough on my camping trip this weekend, so be prepared...

Confession: I'm really freaked out about running my first 5k this weekend. I know I can run 3.1 miles, I do it a few times a week. Unfortunately, I haven't run since Friday and I'm now freaking out about my lack of training this week! I went camping last weekend and didn't run because of all the hiking we did, and then I was SWAMPED with work all week and didn't end up getting home each night until after it got dark out, so no chance to run. I also have been eating tons of pumpkin stuff lately, so I feel like I'm gaining back some of that weight I just lost. I mean, I'm definitely PMSing right now and I always feel huge during this time, but I'm still freaking out that I've completely abandoned my healthy eating and workout habits. I almost always come in under my calorie goal on MFP, but I'm still super worried about my lack of motivation/time for motivation this week.

Vent: I'm freaking out about money lately (who isn't) and even though I have a full time job that takes up a lot of time and energy, I've decided to get a second job. I'm not happy about it at all! If I didn't have to pay for all this wedding stuff I would probably be okay, but unfortunately a huge portion of our caterer's deposit is due on January 1st and since it's right after Christmas season I know I'll need some extra income. I'll keep you guys updated on how the job hunt goes. But I'm getting so sick of wedding stuff, it just means that I need to pay more money!

Ugh I sound so lazy and annoying today. I really am PMSing! Sorry ladies!

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