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Bridesmaid dilemma

jonekajoneka member
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in Moms and Maids

I have been friends with Jennifer and Stephanie for @ 7 years. Jennifer is 45 years old, and Stephanie is 41 years old. I am 29 years old. And they were friends before they knew me. I was engaged before and when I told Jennifer of my engagement, she was negative and did not respond at all as a friend should. We are still friends, but not as close. My dilemma is I am engaged and our wedding date is set for May 19, 2012. I am sure that I will ask Stephanie to be a bridesmaid, but is rude not to ask Jennifer this time? I dont want her to purposely screw something up because shes bitter or unhappy about her age, and not being married by now!!

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Re: Bridesmaid dilemma

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    vicki0508vicki0508 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You have a LOT of time before you need to ask anyone to be in your wedding.  Perhaps she just needed some time to warm up to the idea.  Over the next 6 months, you can work on your friendship, and around Thanksgiving you can pick out your BMs. 

    There's really no need to pick BMs to early, because there isn't anything they need to do this far out.
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    lindenheartlindenheart
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP, be patient and wait. A lot can change in a year. I wouldn't start asking until November-ish and by then, you will know better who you want in your party. So many girls ask a year or more out and wish they could change their BMs. Learn from their mistake and WAIT. =)
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    ks107021ks107021
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto what PP said, just wait to ask, you have plenty of time!  And you can't be 100% sure she is bitter because you are getting married and she isn't!  And if you think she is the type of person that would screw something up at your wedding than why are even friends with her?! 
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    jonekajoneka member
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    edited December 2011

    I am still friends with her because I talked to her about how I felt at the time and didnt cut the relationship off..thats been ac couple of years ago..so I would feel bad just to just cut her off now...with that being said..none the less we are still friends, just not close friends..we used to talk everyday..now its more like once or twice a month. And you have to remember we have been friends for a LONG time..I know her and she is the jealous type...I dont even talk wedding plans with her because  1) I dont want her to rain on my parade 2) I dont want to her to feel bad..so back to the original question..Hypothecially if it was close to my wedding date..is it rude not to ask Jennifer to be part of the wedding party this time? I also dont want Jeninifer to get mad at Stephanie, they are also still friends...

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    vicki0508vicki0508 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are you not asking her because you think she'll purposely screw something up?  Do you really think she'd do something like that?  Keep in mind that friendships change over time.  You two may get close again.

    If you guys aren't that close anymore, she may not even be expecting to be asked.

    I guess to actually try and answer you question, even though you asked her to be a BM during your previous engagement, you are not obligated to ask her to be a BM for this engagement.

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    kellyb1487kellyb1487
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    edited December 2011

    You have time, just wait until 6 months or so out

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