Question about a controversial Brazilian tradition

GJones27 · April 2010

My fiance is Brazilian, and we're trying to think of unique Brazilian traditions we can incorporate into our wedding. Besides just playing Brazilian music at the reception and maybe having some mango/coconut flavors in food, we could only think of one other tradition. In Brazil, the groom cuts off pieces of his tie for guests in exchange for money, and people give whatever they feel like (e.g. $1). However, most of the guests at the wedding will be American, so we're worried people would be confused by the tradition or get offended. What do you think? Could it be a fun tradition, or is it tacky and impolite? If any Brazilians read this, can you suggest other traditions to incorporate?

GJones27 · April 2010

Yeah, his family and friends all do this tradition back in Brazil. People bring gifts to the wedding, and they do the tie-cutting for fun (historically, it was for people to help pay for the wedding). However, only a handful of my fiance's friends and family will be making it over to the States.

I like the modification you suggested... cutting a piece of the tie in exchange of marital advice! Everyone has advice on such matters, and it could be useful in the future. It also avoids the money controversy.

One of the fun things about the tradition is seeing a groom cut off pieces of his tie for guests. It's something unique and different, and it will make for great pictures. Plus, people get to keep a momento from the wedding.

bbyckes · April 2010

Just make sure to explain the tradition. You don't want your guests wondering if he's gone crazy! lol

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

I wouldn't do anything where you ask for money. Your non-Brazilian guests won't understand, and may find it offensive.

My husband is Peruvian. Of course, Peru and Brazil are on opposite sides of a continent, but in his culture, it is common to do a dance right after the B&G first dance where the male guests cut in and take turns dancing with the bride, and the females guests dance with the groom. When we talked about it, my MIL talked like this was a common thing through most of South America. I wonder if something like that is common with them?

Also, have you worked on adding in some Brazilian food/drinks into your menu?

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

Caipirinhas! It's a very popular Brazilian cocktail. It's one of my favorites.

katieanne85 · April 2010

so I had a thought, what if you put cards on the tables with a little sign explaining the tradition and instructing them to write their advise on the cards, then you could scrapbook the cards with the last peice of the tie, like a guest book. it would be way fun to see that at a wedding and contribute in some way, especially since americans dont like being asked for money and probly dont have cash on them at a wedding anyway even if you explained the tradition.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

I love Katie's idea.

Anything where you can get people to write you words of wisdom or advice is awesome. It's fun, and makes for a great keepsake.

GJones27 · April 2010

Thank you all for your suggestions. You all are so creative, helpful, and insightful. I never would have come up with such great ideas. My fiance is traveling now, but when he gets back I'll pitch your ideas to him. I know my mother and I love the ideas!

ces25c · April 2010

Just have someone explain beforehand and maybe tell about the origins of the tradition or something. I don't think it's tacky since it's optional for guests to participate and I've been to weddings before where after the first dance, you can come pay to cut in and dance with the bride or groom.

thabatarv · April 2010

here we separate by couples in the church, not become part of a bridesmaid and the other guys. Here you will be offered to couples who are calling their friends to be on his side of the church. And he called his friends to couples who stay close to him by the priest or pastor at church. And here the bride dont dance with her father and the groom dont dance with his mom. Here the night is of couple just married . Then the couple opens the dance floor. Just later you and your husband dance the guests can dance.

mzm153 · August 2010

I grew up in Brazil and been to a lot of weddings there. Never heard of such thing as cutting tie and much less asking for money, which I and most Brazilians I'm sure think its very bad manners.
But I'm with you for the Brazilian music, Brazilian food, eyc.

Belle2Be · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_question-brazilian-tradition?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d7ff6c05-0194-44e6-b7bc-f61ccc3259c4Post:dbbd5307-0ea6-4611-9421-fc37ea8bbb21">Re: Question about a controversial Brazilian tradition</a>:
[QUOTE]I grew up in Brazil and been to a lot of weddings there. Never heard of such thing as cutting tie and much less asking for money, which I and most Brazilians I'm sure think its very bad manners. But I'm with you for the Brazilian music, Brazilian food, eyc.
Posted by mzm153[/QUOTE]

I imagine this is like saying "I grew up in America and have never seen that tradition". Maybe not, but if it a tradition that the grooms family has, then by all means carry it on! I definitely agree with putting a card on each table explaining the tradition (and maybe a couple random facts about Brazil or something?).

SarahWins · August 2013

I am marrying a Brazilian as well, and all of his family are crazy about this tradition. Another that they have told me about that we will be incorporating is bem casados as favors. These are little sandwich cookies (difficult to describe but if you google it you will see good recipes and descriptions) that are wrapped in groups of 2 or 3 for guests to take home. Whenever each guest takes the first bite, they make a wish for the couple.

artbyallie · August 2013

SarahWins said:

I am marrying a Brazilian as well, and all of his family are crazy about this tradition. Another that they have told me about that we will be incorporating is bem casados as favors. These are little sandwich cookies (difficult to describe but if you google it you will see good recipes and descriptions) that are wrapped in groups of 2 or 3 for guests to take home. Whenever each guest takes the first bite, they make a wish for the couple.

Why did you respond to a 3 year old thread?

Question about a controversial Brazilian tradition

Re: Question about a controversial Brazilian tradition

Choose Another Board

Search Boards