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Garter tossing and more

tammie11tammie11 member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
This is our 2nd wedding and we are getting married in our home. We will not have more than 50 guest. Should we have a bouquet  & garter toss? Also, do we need to  have a mother/son, father/daugher dance? We are both in our early 40's? Any idea's or suggestions?

Thanks!
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Re: Garter tossing and more

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    No one needs to have any of those things.  One of the advantages of its being a second wedding and your not being in your 20s is that you are free to pick the traditions you like (or make new ones) and discard the ones you don't, typically without as much family pressure as younger/first time couples get.

    Personally, I skipped both the bouquet and garter tosses.  What with having two brides, there would have been two of each, which would have complicated things.  But more to the point, the assumption that everyone would be vying for being the next to get married seemed silly enough if the guests were in their 20s, and downright demeaning if the guests were over that age.  Besides, the only single men at our ceremony (which was tiny) were my ex-husband and my son, and the idea of tossing a garter to them was definitely unappealing!
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  • tammie11tammie11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you!!!!
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  • dwashcodwashco member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We aren't having any of these either - we are in our early 40's and see no need.  We are, however, having ~100 guests a small 'wedding party' and a huge reception party!  About the only "tradition" we are having is the cake cutting - Something he and I always wanted to do and didn't get to the first times.
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    No need to have them. I doubt we will, because the guests are either teens or 40-50-ish. We will do the cake cutting though, and special dances, only because it's myfirst wedding and I want to dance with my "daddy". LOL.
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Same here.  No garter, no bouquet toss.  Just a personal choice.  We're also not having a formal bp dance or a first dance of our own.  We're getting married on a beach and having a mexican buffet afterward.

    Great thing is, there are no rules!  Do whateeeeever you two want!
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  • JenJune3JenJune3
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am only 26 and FI is 32, but I don't think we are going to do the garter and bouquet toss because I would rather give my bouquet to my 3 year old daughter to play with and I'm not wearing a garter! I felt silly enough wearing one the first go around! I say choose whichever traditions you want! We are going to cut the cake and do a first dance, but I'm still deciding if we should do a father/daughter, mother/son dance as well!
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  • tammie11tammie11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much!  Everyone information was so helpful. We really only want to do the cake cutting and 1st dance & get on with our lives.Smile  CONGRATULATIONS!!  To all of you and enjoy YOUR day YOUR way!!!!
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We're 50+ and the only tradition we will do is cutting the cake.  Possibly a first dance but that might be difficult since T is a notorious dance avoider.  But he did humor me once at the Firefighter's Ball.  We danced to Unchained Melody and since that's the only song we have dance to, it becomes "our song" by default Tongue out
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    LOL Marrin713! A "default" first dance. I love it!

    We never had a "song", so I bought a dvd called "First Dance" at a Hallmark store of all places. We liked "From this Moment On" by Shania Twain, so that's it.
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  • RealWeddingRealWedding member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The Garter toss comes from a hideous tradition, I didn't do it at my first wedding in 1985, nor at my second, two years ago.  And I didn't have a bouquet either time, so there you go.  At my first wedding, a winter wedding in Boston, I carried a fur handwarmer/muff that had a single orchid pinned to it.  For my second wedding, on the beach, I carried no flowers.

    You're not required to do any of that stuff, so you should do what is meaningful to you! 
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  • thealphabridethealphabride
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi Tammi, congrats!
    We are 50 plus, having a formal wedding ceremony and reception with dinner cocktails and dancing. We aren't having the bouquet toss or the garter, the last thing I want is fiance crawling up my dress in front of a crowd. We are having the cake cutting as well.  
    We are having a first dance. We are having a mother son dance since all the dads are deceased. My son is escorting me down the isle and I look forward to a special dance with him (my only child) and my new step son (his only child) .

    Best of luck to you!! keep us posted on your plans.
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  • tommyandytommyandy member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Second wedding as in vow renewal or second wedding as in we were married to other people before this?
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  • tammie11tammie11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    This is the 2nd marriage for both of us.

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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    We are in our mid-40's and are not tossing the bouquet or the garter.  Those that we know who are single would not like to be singled out. Once again though that is personal preference.  

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