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May 2012 Weddings

What would you do?

So this is a really strange situation. 

Our dear friend/GM passed away just a couple of weeks after we were engaged in August. His mother was always crazy, his father died several years ago, and his sister is a total crack head - legitimately. 

The crazy has picked up significantly since his passing and because of her harassment and inappropriate comments towards myself, FI, and our group of friends we have all severed ties with her and no longer speak to her. It's a very sad situation, and I empathize with how difficult her life has been, but there comes a point where she began to attempt to taint our memories of him and that isn't right. 

We have chosen to not invite her to the wedding for that reason. She would also make a total scene and be horrible and ruin the night for everyone there. He would not want that to happen at our wedding. 

She has been stalking FIs and my own facebook page and got a hold of our wedding website. She sent both of us an email today (we have no idea how she got our emails because we both blocked her on facebook when we figured it out). The email said all sorts of junk that I am not going to get in to here, but the biggest issue is since she found the website she knows where the venue is and the date. She told me she is planning to attend and bring her nephew (even if she was invited she wouldn't be allowed to bring a +1) and if he ends up not being able to make it she is going to contact friend x, y, and z about bringing her (they have all cut off communication as well). She also wanted to discuss with us which photo of her son we want to print BIG and put on an easel at the front of the ceremony and reception because we are apparently also having a memorial service for him there. 

She has fabricated all of this nonsense in her mind and I don't know what to do. We replied to her email saying a firm no, she is not invited because her presence is not appropriate, etc etc. We are waiting for her response which we are not looking forward to.

When I spoke with my mother about this she thinks we need to hire a security guard to look out for her showing up and escort her away if she leaves and she will pay for it. Is this really necessary? Would you do it?

I suppose this was also sort of a vent because I'm saddened and frustrated by this situation. Ugh. Thanks for reading
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Re: What would you do?

  • i'm sorry for the passing of your GM :( 

    As far as the mom can you let your reception venue know and perhaps they can watch for her? I also thinking the security guard is a good idea because it seems that she could potentially cause a big scene :( ugh, why must things be so shitty? :(
  • I agree with PP. I say have the venue keep a look out and prepare to handle the situation. I would warn them of what is happening
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  • Make it the BM's duty...if he sees her (and possible guest) to escort her (them) out with as little disturbance as possible. 
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  • We already have security provided by our reception venue since it will be at night and they require it so many officers per so many guests. I don't think it would be a bad idea since you can hire them for other reasons as well as that. Plus then you have an authority figure there if need be for her or others.

    If you decide that you think that is too extreme then I would do as PP's have stated and let your venue's know about the situation so they can keep a look out for her.
  • I think I would hire someone to help you all out.  It sounds to me like you have taken the neccesssary steps and this just keeps going.  The only way to ensure that you have the day you are hoping to have is to have someone looking out for you and taking care of a situation that you really don't want to have to deal with on your wedding day.
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  • I am so sorry! I agree with PPs about having your DOC be on the look out for her.
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  • I agree. I would have someone from the venue and/or a GM/guest who you feel like could handle the situation keep an eye out for her.

    I'm sorry you have to deal with this! Hopefully she's get distracted by something else and not even show up!
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  • I would definitely go with having the security guard. It can't hurt anything. You wouldn't want this special day ruined or disrupted in anyway.
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