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Etiquette (I guess?) question/small vent

So FMIL blantantly told me today that she would not be buying me things from my registry because they are too expensive, rather, she is going other places (ocean state job lot) to buy me "the exact same thing" except cheaper. Conversation went like this:

FMIL: "What colors and themes are our rooms?"
Me: "Well, our living room is blue, dining room is green and bathrooms are tealish, why?"
FMIL: "Oh, people are just asking me for the shower.." (with a slight smile on her face)
Me: "Oh. Well please inform them that we have registered for things in the colors that we would like, so they don't need to worry about matching, the color is specified!" (thinking I just was super helpful in things)
FMIL: "Well, to be honest, other people are going elsewhere to buy you things like towels, since your registries are so expensive. I've bough several things that were on your registry but cheaper at other places, the same quality though even if it's not the same brand!'
Me: wtf? --- in reality silence..

So, I was thinking...just accept the gifts with a smile, and then return them if they are not of any use to me... right?

I don't mean to sound all crazy, but we have EVERYTHING we need for our house, and everything we registered for is for a particular reason- the color doesn't even matter, but if I registered for a particular type of mixer it's because I reallllyy wanted that one...not so you can get me a different one at ocean state! Gr...okay..vent over.

I just want to end this by honestly saying I am truly greatful that she is thinking of me and buying gifts....just not sure why she won't just buy something off my registry? to make it easy? I'm registered at BBB & target for goodness sake...you can't go much "cheaper" than that!!!

Re: Etiquette (I guess?) question/small vent

  • you do have a point and just to make a point ocean state job lots quality of supplies for somethings are not all that great i mean some of there stuff is good and some isnt i would be careful what you use from there cause there towels and stuff dont last long. but you have a good point target is a pretty cheap store and people should take in to consideration thast it is on the cheaper side
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  • Don't listen to your cheap-o FMIL.  People WILL buy off your registry.

    I mean jeez a towel is what.. $8.99 at BBB?  Yeah, REAL pricey lol.
  • How expensive are the items on your registry that FMIL thinks no one will shop there? I've heard of brides registering for expensive towels but if you have stuff in a variety of price points, you should be fine. Likewise, there isn't a rule that your guests need to shop from your registry. Just thank them for what you get.
  • Yea it is a tough situation because a main reason why you register is so people aren't getting you random things you don't want/need.  But it is true there is no rule that someone must buy you something from it. 

    I guess I would just do what you said and say thank you and then return anything that you aren't going to use.  Just be careful as you may be getting store credit to Ocean State etc not sure if you want that, and also if you get something and someone comes to your house to visit and asks about the gift that can be awkward if you returned it. 
  • I registered for everything from $2.99 spoons to pricey appliances. It frustrates me because I will now have duplicates of things too since Family is buying things that are on my registry, just elsewhere. She has been on a "everything you can do I can do it cheaper"kick, including making a comment about how she's doing everything "the cheap way" for the rehersal dinner to "prove" to me that things don't have to be expensive to be nice- she's trying to compete with the actual reception. For the rehersal dinner... That being said, I know that guests don't have to buy off of the registry and o am grateful they are thinking of me, so I will be thankful and do what I need to :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_etiquette-guess-questionsmall-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:d5348346-cf43-46cc-9447-13909465036bPost:3a37a292-39a1-4820-b23b-3d3a6975a1ba">Re: Etiquette (I guess?) question/small vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I registered for everything from $2.99 spoons to pricey appliances.</strong> It frustrates me because I will now have duplicates of things too since Family is buying things that are on my registry, just elsewhere. She has been on a "everything you can do I can do it cheaper"kick, including making a comment about how she's doing everything "the cheap way" for the rehersal dinner to "prove" to me that things don't have to be expensive to be nice- she's trying to compete with the actual reception. For the rehersal dinner... That being said, I know that guests don't have to buy off of the registry and o am grateful they are thinking of me, so I will be thankful and do what I need to :)
    Posted by rswan412[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>IMHO, if you did that, then you are good. I did the same - from the smallest/cheapest items in the store to the more expensive stuff (hundreds of dollars). If people are on a budget, they can choose to buy you a few of the smaller items, or get a group of people together to split the cost of a larger gift. I wouldn't worry too much about what your FMIL says, because (with all due respect) I think that people are smart enough to find an item on your registry that fits within their budget, or get creative and do a group gift. 

    </div>
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  • I agree with PP, if you have a range of prices on both your registries you should be fine, I know Target has a counter on the main registry page that shows you how many items you have in the low/mid/high price ranges, so you can be sure there is a good variety.
    You could also put your FMIL on the BB&B mailing list so she can get some coupons in the mail (constantly) maybe 20% off will make her feel better about spending the money lol. (I'm just kidding!! Don't anybody attack me about this) I do think the sales and coupons BB&B offers help out with the price of items on the registry though.
  • I agree with the PP - if you have  range of prices, you should be OK. AND, people don't HAVE to buy off the registry. If they see something they think might fit you and FI, they might just buy it. Hope for the best and be thankful for what you get, return what you don't like/need. I feel like most people give gift receipts. If not, either donate to the goodwill or save for a regift!!

    An aside: We through my cousin a VERY surprise shower and she literally returned everything that wasn't a personalized/custom gift. To each their own!
  • I also agree, as long as you have a range of prices you should be good.  I would find it incredibly rude if my FMIL said that... ummm... espeically since you are marrying her child and all...  People will go off your registery.  maybe have your BM's do a little extra to get the word out about where you registered.  You register for things you need in colors you want, there's a reason for that.
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