To Seat or Not to Seat? Please help!!!

sadiejk · July 2010

Hi Knotties,

We will be having my reception in an art museum in the evening. My fiancée and I are really excited about our venue and caterer. We are planning to serve heavy hors d'oeuvres (i.e. carving station, pasta station, wine pairing station, etc.), so it will be much like a spread out buffet, with small plates.

My planner and caterer have said that seating for 75% of my guests will be adequate; however, I would like to have assigned seating for all of my guests. In addition to wanting to make an escort board and place cards, I feel this will provide the most appropriate seating possible for our guests (elderly in accessible areas, wild guests away from the bar, splitting a group of 12 people so they are 6 and 6 at two different tables instead of 10 and 2, etc).

Please let me know what you think! Seating everyone is significantly more expensive- am I being selfish in wanting this? Any advice, feedback, or comments will be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks:) Sarah

trix1223 · July 2010

I completely disagree with your planner. I prefer assigned tables, but even if you don't assign, you still need seating for 100% of your guests. If people figure out that there isn't enough seating, they will grab a seat and not move around so as not to lose their seat.

A seat for everyone gives people a "home base" as well. It's a place to put wraps, jackets, ties, camera bags, handbags, etc.

My reasons for preferring assigned tables:

Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left.

It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.

It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers.

It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?)

It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together.

It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8.

I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit.

Do table assignments.

sadiejk · July 2010

Thank you sooo much, Trix! Great advice:)

SarahPLiz · July 2010

I agree with Trix. Even at a cocktail type reception, there needs to be a seat for every butt. Some people go for even more seating than necessary, just so the last person to sit doesn't have to search the room for the last open seat.

cheelcheel · July 2010

I feel like you need to have a seat for everyone no matter what type of reception you are having. I am in a similar situation, but am demanding we find a way to seat everyone. I don't want one of my younger guests to drink too much and lose thier manners and forget to offer up the seat to my Granmother.... What a nightmare that would be!

mysticl · July 2010

I agree, seats for everyone. Think of it in terms of being a guest. I'm in high heels, I'm wearing a nice dress (possibly dry clean only), I have my purse over one arm, and I'm trying to balance a plate and a drink. Not fun.

I'm a huge fan of assigned tables too for all the reasons trix listed.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Yes, there needs to be a seat for everyone. We just did table numbers and I bought ecort/place cards with a line for their name and a place to write in the table number. They picked them up when they walked in the door. They were also color coded for their choice of meat (we did a sit down dinner) and that worked out just fine. I was going to to a board, but kinda ran out of time plus MIL told me it wasn't needed.

Mrs.Faison · July 2010

The wedding I attended with heavy hors d'oeuvres did not have assigned seating and it was awkward at best. If it makes you feel more at ease about desinating seating DO IT!

sadiejk · July 2010

Sooooo helpful- and exactly what I was hoping to hear! Thank you all for responding;)

deb84 · July 2010

In your case I would just do assigned seating for all since that is what you want and in your situation seems best.

That being said, I am from the midwest and have been to and/or in MANY weddings in my 25 years and have NEVER seen assigned seating. I can't even imagine how this would work. How do they know it is assigned seating and where to sit?! Do they just walk around until they find their name tag? I assume this is what the escort cards I hear about are for but what exactly are they? I can see the benefits of this, but just don't know how one would go about making it work with people who aren't use to it.

babywolf77 · August 2010

I actually work at a venue that does weddings from time to time and we have had several weddings in the last few months that have done cocktail receptions lately. The Bride & Groom have done the cocktail tables and not enough seats for everyone,and I think it is BAD. You see people wondering around looking for a place to sit and there is no room, or others give up their seats so that they may sit.
I don't know about everyone else, but I personally like to know that I can go sit down and catch my breath for a few min and give my feet a rest, especially if there is dancing!!!

To Seat or Not to Seat? Please help!!!

Re: To Seat or Not to Seat? Please help!!!

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