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WWYD? Missed Wedding

SandDDSandDD member
500 Comments
in New York-Hudson Valley

Fi has a friend from college that got married late July.  They're not close at all (in fact I never even met the couple and we've been together 2 1/2 years) but we rsvp'd yes that we'd attend their wedding.

However, the day of their wedding, my father was admitted to ICU.  We decided to skip the wedding because, to be honest, I'd rather be there.  Anyway, the next day the groom texted FI to say "we missed you last night" and FI immediately called to explain what happened, but the groom didn't pick up or reply back. 

Now we don't have their address (threw out the invite) and Fi's called twice for their address and messaged both on facebook. They've pretty much ignored him. I don't think it's right to just give up. 

My guess is they think we just blew off their wedding (FI has a tough schedule and they haven't gotten much chance to hang out because of it).  Truth is, my father was incubated that night and passed away about 10 days after. I don't owe them anything, but I do feel bad that we short-changed them for missing the reception. I just want to make it right and move on.

I think we should just send them something off their registry since we don't know their address. FI is pissed that they've ignored him and said forget it.

What would you do?

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Planning Bio! Updated 7/18
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Re: WWYD? Missed Wedding

  • JSweetieXOJSweetieXO
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Send something from their registry or if you have mutual friends ask them for the address.

    I cannot believe they are SO RUDE to blow off FI's attempts at explaining what happened. Your father was in the hospital that is completely understandable. What did the groom expect your FI to just leave you and go to the wedding without you? People are too self involved.
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  • NevenagNevenag
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    First off, so sorry to hear about your dad, my condolences. And second, it sounds like you want to let them know what happened, sounds like by doing this you will feel better. So I'd say send them a small gift (off the registry) with a note and then forget about it. If they contact you after their honey moon, great. If not, don't give it much thought. You had one of the most serious reasons why you didn't attend a wedding; and you are trying to do the right thing by explaining it to them. After that not much you can or should do.

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  • ssagessage member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    First I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my father 6 years ago.  My thoughts are with you.

    Second, I agree I would send something.  Yes, they are definitely appearing rude but who knows why and they obviously don't know about your dad and in the long run, if they are mad about what happeend, it is for them to deal with...but I would send a gift with a note.  You don't them an explanation but at the same time, they don't know what happened.
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  • Bat937Bat937
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry about your dad.

    On the day of the wedding, did you get in touch with anyone that was going to explain why you wouldn't be there? If not, I can understand them being upset until they learned why you weren't there.  Now that it has been explained, they are being unreasonable.
    Personally, I would make one last ditch attempt.  I'd talk to a mutual friend, explain the issue and see if they will give you  their address.   Then send a written note of apology for missing the wedding with your explanation and if you want to, include a gift.

     Personally I don't know if I would send a gift to someone who won't believe that my dad was  in ICU.  They sound like friends you don't need.
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  • CrysMarie12CrysMarie12 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't send them anything. If they won't listen to your reason for not going then they don't deserve a gift from you. 
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  • MidgetteMidgette member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry for ur loss. 
    And as suggested I would send something off the registry. 


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  • summerbride11summerbride11
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So sorry about your dad.

    I agree with your integrity to send something off the registry anyway.  It's sad that the couple didn't have an open ear.
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  • SandDDSandDD member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks so much ladies for your thoughts!! I'll convince FI to send them something off their registry. 
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  • M2NM2N
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Can you please let us know if you do get in contact with them?  I really hope they apologize TO YOU....so sorry again for your loss
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  • TerriandJoeTerriandJoe
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    As everyone has pretty much said. Send them an item off their registry along with a card and a note explaining what happened. That's pretty much all you can do at this point. Hope they take the time to read it and understand why you couldn't attend.
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