What do I do??! Help please!

cpm1223 · March 2012

FI hot a text today from his cousins asking if she could bring her baby to the wedding. The baby will be about 6months old and she's not breastfeeding but she "doesn't trust anyone to watch the baby" so she wants to bring him. We didnt invite any other of FIs cousins kids because we didn't have room and i dont know if we should make any exceptions. I don't know what to have FI say to her....any suggestions??

cpm1223 · March 2012

FI got sorry I'm typing on my phone!

aleighk1 · March 2012

The mother will most likely be providing the food for the baby and holding him/her so space/money shouldn't be a problem. I would just let her bring the baby.

MrsLiggett7 · March 2012

I would say don't make exceptions. Yea it's a sucky situation but you made the wedding rules and if you break them for her you'll have to make exceptions for others. I get the new mom thing and not wanting to leave your baby with anyone. Unfortunately she might not come to your wedding but it is the way it is.

cpm1223 · March 2012

The weird thing is, is that she already RSVP'd yes for her and her husband and now she asks about the kid?? She has inlaws that could watch him for 1 night!

MrsLiggett7 · March 2012

This is probably the first time she'll be leaving the baby with someone other than Dad for an extended period of time. But honestly, I've been to a wedding with a baby and I hardly enjoyed myself or the wedding because I was preoccupied with the baby.

caitlinc09 · March 2012

I don't think you should make an exception for her. Make sure she knows that - you set firm boundaries and unfortunately you can't change the rules for her. I also wouldn't be surprised if she changes her RSVP to no, so be prepared for that.

mandi921vh · March 2012

Typically breastfeeding infants are the only exception to the "no kids rule" but you said she is not breastfeeding so I would stick to your guns and let her know that no kids are invited. It has nothing to do with the fact that this baby will not cost you any extra money at the wedding, but it's the principle of the matter that you specifically have a "no kids" policy.

evenundomiel · March 2012

I agree with the pps....don't make an exception. It's one thing if you're having other kids there...but a fussy 6 month old can really ruin an event...especially if it's the only one. Stick to your guns -- no baby!

Tully16 · March 2012

I'm going to be in the minority here and say just let her bring the baby. It's not going to ruin your special day. She'll have brains enough to walk out with the baby if it cries during the ceremony - people do this in church all the time.

No offense to you, (and I know I'm going to get flamed for saying this) but I guess I just don't understand weddings that don't allow children. All it does is create unnecessary drama. Parents are smart enough to watch their children. It will be fine.

Edit to add: Oh, I saw you said you didn't invite kids because you didn't have room. That's different. The baby won't eat anything so you won't have to include him in final count. Just let her bring him.

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

I'm going to vote no baby on this one, mainly because other parents who couldn't bring their kids might get their feathers ruffled over the fact that their precious children weren't good enough to come, but someone else's was.

That being said, your cousin is going to have to trust someone to watch the baby eventually.

lnvane00 · March 2012

Stand your ground! I've had to go through the same thing with people wanting to bring their babies. I absolutely want no kids at my wedding. If you make an exception for one person you will have to make other exceptions too and it could get out of hand.

susanjd9 · March 2012

I say no as well.

Shari 86 · March 2012

I will go against most and say yes to the baby. A 6 month old regradless of the way they are fed is WAY too young to be left for a night. I also think it is a bit much that you would invite them and not expect them to bring the baby. They would RSVP just their names where the child would not require a seat or food from you. The child will most likely be asleep in a stroller a good 80% of the time and are really easily distracted when they get upset. It lasts 30 seconds and they are on to the next thing.

A baby that young is not the same as someones 2+ year old who would be running, yelling ect. The other parents with kids would get that.

If you tell them no then be prepared for them to not come at all anymore.

LOMLBOAT · March 2012

I have to agree with some of the PP, a 6 month old baby is entirely different from 'children' being invited. I would not be offended if a saw an infant at a wedding. We are not having any children at our wedding but FI's nephew was invited (6 mos) and my 2 yr old nephew (they live in MD and literally have NO ONE to watch son as everyone will be at the wedding & she doesn't have family).

People are going to find something to complain about if that's the kind of person they are, but if it's ok with you, then I would let the baby come. They may even leave early, I can't imagine them being out late partying with an infant.

cpm1223 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_what-do-i-do-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:51ad1c43-2560-44d4-8b9d-8f49f28e76acPost:8e9eb1dc-ac3a-4c0b-8bb1-be3651ed9d00">Re: What do I do??! Help please!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to agree with some of the PP, a 6 month old baby is entirely different from 'children' being invited. I would not be offended if a saw an infant at a wedding. We are not having any children at our wedding but FI's nephew was invited (6 mos) and my 2 yr old nephew (they live in MD and<strong> literally have NO ONE to watch son as everyone will be at the wedding</strong> & she doesn't have family). People are going to find something to complain about if that's the kind of person they are, but if it's ok with you, then I would let the baby come. They may even leave early, I can't imagine them being out late partying with an infant.
Posted by LOMLBOAT[/QUOTE]

I would completely understand her wanting to bring the baby if she had no one to watch him, but she has her husbands parents who are fully capably of watching their grandchild for one day!

I talked to my parents and my FMIL who all think that she should look into some other options besides taking the baby to the wedding. She could ask someone who she knows (a friend or her in-laws) to come to the hotel and watch the baby during the wedding and that way she would be just a few miles away and the person watching the baby could leave when the wedding was over and drive home (about an hour away, and the wedding is over at 9:30pm)

Its not that I don't like babies, its just not fair to those people who also have babies and have to leave their children behind for our wedding. Some of these people are VIPS (2 groomsmen) and they haven't said a peep about not bringing their kids and I'm sure if they see this baby. that they will be pissed that we invited him and not their children.

The cousin hasn't gone back to work yet from maternity leave, and she's going back soon, so I'm hoping that if she gets used to the idea of beig away from the baby while being at work, it might make her think that she can do it for one night in 6 weeks!

toothpastechica · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_what-do-i-do-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:51ad1c43-2560-44d4-8b9d-8f49f28e76acPost:9c0a35d2-2aae-4901-90fd-0fd87945b391">Re: What do I do??! Help please!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to vote no baby on this one, mainly because other parents who couldn't bring their kids might get their feathers ruffled over the fact that their precious children weren't good enough to come, but someone else's was. That being said, your cousin is going to have to trust someone to watch the baby eventually.
Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]

This....I would be pissed if I was invited and told I couldnt bring my baby and then saw someone else's baby there...how would I know the circumstances or that they are family...to other guests it just looks like you are giving them preferential treatment over others.

Also to the people who say 6 months is to "way too young" to leave a baby...thousands of mothers go back to work by as early as 2 months because thier maternity benifits either are insufficient to live on or they dont have any for whatever reason...those thousands of babies live and grow up. One day will not be a death sentance for a 6 month old (plus I have fostered many children that young, and they are actually MORE easily adaptable at that age then at a few months older)

What do I do??! Help please!

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