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New York-Hudson Valley

I feel really stupid asking this question

But here I go ...

I don't know why I feel clueless to certain things having to do w/ my wedding. I spoke to my DJ a few months ago and he said that all we needed to do was give him a list of what we wanted to hear and then he will meet w/ us a month before the wedding and go through everything that will happen on that day. I guess to a degree I'm not so worried about it since my friend recommended him - however I've never heard him play....is my head in the sand? Should I be in touch with him more?

I've got a little less then 4 months - I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and out of my comfort zone...I don't know what to do first and wonder if I'm doing everything I'm suppose to be doing? I feel all over the place grrr and normally I'm very organized :-(

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Re: I feel really stupid asking this question

  • edited December 2011
    Hi!
     When we booked our DJ (Jimmy Dee) they told us the same thing. They have a questionnaire for clients to fill out with info and names of bridal party etc... it includes a section for a list of songs. So we asked when our next meeting should be and he said 2 months before the wedding to finalize everything. So that time frame is normal. The same with our florist, he said 2 months before he will do our sample centerpiece, anddd the same is with my dress! My dress is coming 2 months before the wedding. I always ask: Is that enough time? And all the vendors assure me yes. I just have to have faith in them since they do this every day. All of my vendors I researched right here on theknot, word of mouth, internet, and the boards. So don't worry. This is normal.

    Just to add something about the DJ-you don't necessarily have to list every single song of the whole night. A friend of mine who just got married told me she gave no list at all and trusted her DJ to play current music and she was very happy with the turn out.

    As for feeling overwhlemed, it's only natural. It happens to us all. Let's face it, there is a lot to do. What I do to stay sane and organized is, I follow a checklist in my planner. I got the planner as a gift and it was the BEST thing. It really helps me  a lot. Also, I make my own weekly lists in a notebook. This way you are doing a few things at a time rather than looking at pages and pages of things to do. Last week I wrote down everything I wanted to order online, ring pillow, cake topper, garter, and shoes. And it felt so good to cross those all off. Plus, I got my veil last week. Give yourself weekly goals (even if it's a few things) and go from there, you will see how the list gets smaller and smaller.

    If you don't have a planner or don't use theknot checklist (we can't always carry a computer around with us!, I don't know if it's printable) then I'd suggest googling a wedding checklist, I am sure you will find one you can print out or copy down on paper.

    Feel free to message me anytime if you need help or a more detailed list of things I've done/upcoming plans/goals...I'm happy to help.

    Good luck and remember as crazy of a time this can be, it should be FUN! You can of course always pick out your stuff and what you want but at the same time don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family :)


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  • MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Trish...See I knew I should've gotten a planner! I think it might serve me better to do weekly lists ......that's a great idea.

    I'm glad that my DJ is on track then. I don't know what happened all of a sudden I started to get nervous about everything and it took on a life of its own....What I'll do is give the DJ a few of our favorite songs and then let him take it from there.

    You definitely sound like you're having fun and you're so put together. Good for you! 

    Thanks for the guidance and offering to help. I appreciate it.

    I'm off to go look at check lists that I can print out. God only knows why I didn't think to do that? 

    I feel much better now. 

    Thanks again -
    Lee
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  • ssagessage member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    You are a BRIDE.  These are all pretty normal feelings!  :)

    Just to reiterate pp, it is normal.  My DJ also had a ?aire with the same types of things...I told him the types of music we liked and didn't like and didn't really give him songs b/c I felt like that is why we hired him, to listen to what we liked and play accordingly...I did give him some songs i didn't want played (very small list) and a few definite songs that meant something to me, my hubby and stepson (also a small list).

    Take a deep breath

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_feel-really-stupid-asking-this-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:24474edd-24fa-4b52-831f-7be68adb0581Post:529b5fab-9d07-491c-8204-ac0b710d4a0b">Re: I feel really stupid asking this question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks Trish. ..See I knew I should've gotten a planner! I think it might serve me better to do weekly lists ......that's a great idea. I'm glad that my DJ is on track then. I don't know what happened all of a sudden I started to get nervous about everything and it took on a life of its own....What I'll do is give the DJ a few of our favorite songs and then let him take it from there. You definitely sound like you're having fun and you're so put together. Good for you!  Thanks for the guidance and offering to help. I appreciate it. I'm off to go look at check lists that I can print out. God only knows why I didn't think to do that?  I feel much better now.  Thanks again - Lee
    Posted by MYLOVE315[/QUOTE]

    Your very welcome!
    Trust me there's times when I am overwhlemed as well! Of course for the DJ you can give them a list of special songs you want...ex: what you want bridal party to come out too, your first dance, any special songs to you two...that kind of stuff.

    Check AC Moore, Michael's, bookstores and even online for smaller planners that you can carry around with you instead of getting one of the big bulkier ones :)
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  • edited December 2011

    All pp's are correct!


    DJ's (and most vendors) usually want to meet with you a few months before your wedding to go over details.


    You can print this planning guide out: It lists everything that you need to do:

    http://www.keepandshare.com/htm/wedding_planning/fairytale/A01_Wedding_Planning_Checklist-Timeline.php

    Also, Bridal Guide magazine lists a planner in every issue.

    It's ok to feel overwhelmed! This is probably the biggest event you have ever planned in your life! A year of planning for an 8 hour day. But yes it's a big deal!

    Re: your DJ. as long as you feel comfortable with them, relax. They are the professionals and do this all the time! Listen to them. If they say to meet two months in advance it's because that's how they operate. My guy did that too, and I will admit, I was a little uncomfortable with booking in may and not talking to him until the following April. So we had a meeting in Sept to go over stuff. And it was a good thing, because it gave him a chance to get a chance to get to know our personalities and what our concerns were.

    But, our wedding would have still been fine if we didn't meet then.

    Couple of things for you to do:

    Your DJ will probably has some type of questionnaire to find out about your musical likes and dislikes. Ours had one that listed type of music. He also gave us this awesome list of the top 200 most requested wedding and party songs of the past year:

    http://www.mobilebeat.com/top-200/

    Along with the music types this list proved to be a very good quick list to high light the must plays and cross out the do not plays.

    It's not necessary for you to make a list of every song that you want played. But consider making a reference list for songs that are needed to be played: entrance song(s), first (and second?) dance, parent songs if any, memory songs if any, bouquet, garter, cake cutting, and a closing song list. Also the must play / do not play list. (Do not plays are very important! )

    Ours didn't ask for this, most I'm sure probably don't. But it can also help if you can give your DJ the mix of age ranges of your guests. We had people from 3 to 83. Which is pretty common at weddings. But we also let him know that we had about a dozen people under 30, and most people at the wedding were in the 30 - 45 age range. That way he could make his playing selections based on that info and play music that the bulk of guests would enjoy. (DJ Bri did our wedding and was wonderful, but when we were searching it was very important to find a dj that wouldn't treat our wedding like another sweet 16, or early-20-somethings wedding. so finding the right person to DJ our wedding was very important)

    But other than that, you hired your DJ because you felt that they would be the right person to bring the right musical energy to your wedding. If you trust that they will do a good job, you don't need to worry!


    HTH!




  • edited December 2011
    our dj gave us a form to fill out with all the important stuff on it like our first dance, parents dance, entrance song, etc. he then had a list of about 100 or so commonly played songs at receptions. we basically went through that list and separated it out into don't play, don't really care, or want to hear it. from there he got an idea of the type of music we liked and wanted to hear, and he picked out other songs along that style. he was great, and played exactly the type of music we wanted. 

    we met with him for the final time about a month before the wedding, and then he also called us about two days before just to make sure that we didn't have any changes or questions. just before the reception started he went over things with us one more time, to make sure he had the names right and everything (we did not use him for the ceremony). they do this stuff all the time, i wouldn't worry too much about it.
  • MYLOVE315MYLOVE315 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks again Trish. I'll take a look at the suggested stores and also see what I can find online.

    As for the DJ ...yep I have all my songs together. At least that's one thing done Wink ...
    I just have to send him the list.

    Have you decided what you are doing for favors?
    Have you gone for your wedding rings yet?


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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_feel-really-stupid-asking-this-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:24474edd-24fa-4b52-831f-7be68adb0581Post:0d7b9416-733f-4820-ab5a-cf057053b6cb">Re: I feel really stupid asking this question</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Thanks again Trish.</strong> I'll take a look at the suggested stores and also see what I can find online. As for the DJ ...yep I have all my songs together. At least that's one thing done ... I just have to send him the list. <strong>Have you decided what you are doing for favors? Have you gone for your wedding rings yet?</strong>
    Posted by MYLOVE315[/QUOTE]
    Very Welcome :)
    Favors I'm stil deciding.
    Didn't go for bands yet!
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