how long do we stay apart?

jerrikabrett · June 2012

how long should we be apart before the wedding?
some people spend longer apart then others, 2 weeks-the night before?
any thought?

Lisa50 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_how-long-do-we-stay-apart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:a3754093-7cf0-400a-b145-9a9e89e419adPost:8dd94a15-da23-4249-a745-d8bbc5a9ed5d">how long do we stay apart?</a>:
[QUOTE]how long should we be apart before the wedding? some people spend longer apart then others, 2 weeks-the night before? any thought?
Posted by jerrikabrett[/QUOTE]

I cannot think of a single reason you would spend any time apart before the wedding, Why do you ask?

mbuckley85 · June 2012

I don't know how much time you SHOULD spend a part...I don't think there is a set amount.

FI and I are getting married on a Sunday. We will spend the night together Friday night at our home, Saturday we will travel to the area where the wedding is in, we will have our rehearsal and separate after the rehearsal dinner (no more contact until the wedding). I will see him at the start of our ceremony, Sunday at 4pm.

He is my best friend and I hate spending time without him when I know that I can spend it with him, but I want the moment he sees me on the day of our wedding to be really special. We will be apart about 20 hours.

AdeleDazeem · June 2012

It's up to you, but two weeks is insane.

My husband and I spent the night before together, then most of the wedding day together. Our ceremony was at 6pm and I believe we parted ways around 2pm so I could shower and start to get ready. That was enough for me.

HobokensFury · June 2012

We planned on spending the night before apart but due to crazy circumstances ( house caught fire the night before the wedding) I had to spend the night with him. Our marriage is still valid.

JaxInBlue · June 2012

We spent the night before the wedding apart (DH at the hotel, me with my folks) but we didn't go our separate ways until about 9 PM. That was about all we wanted to do.

harpsdesire · June 2012

As long as you want. Including 'not at all'.

Traditionally you wouldn't see the groom once you get into your dress but before the ceremony, or for the night before (after reheral usually) and whole day of the wedding until the ceremony, depending on who you ask, but it really is something you and your FI can choose to do or not exactly according to your preference and with complete disregard to what anyone else feels you 'should' do.

That is rarely the case with anything in life, so enjoy it! lol!

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

Totally up to you guys. H and I were in our hometown for the wedding (not where we live), so I stayed at my parents' that night and he stayed at his parents' house. Then we got a hotel room for the wedding night. We weren't seeing each other the morning-of, so it made sense for us.

I would never not see him for two weeks before the wedding though. That seems a little bit much.

jmp2004 · June 2012

My mother is attempting to convince me to spend the night before in her room (we're going to Vegas), not sure how that will go though. But at the very minimum, we are going to part ways the morning of, maybe after breakfast? The ceremony is at 6pm.

MrsKathyC · June 2012

After we set up the table decorations, so from around 11:00 until the ceremony at 12:45. He went home to shower and I stayed at the venue to get ready.

LizzyRB · June 2012

We are planning to part ways after rehearsal dinner for one night, the night before the wedding.

gymbugmj2k · June 2012

We're planning to be separated after the rehearsal on thursday. we'll spend friday alone and then see each other at the church saturday afternoon. of course, we might have to call or skype or something since i'm sure things will come up.

2 weeks is a bit much in my opinon. I'm just thinking of the checklist of things that thappen during that time, and its almost impossible not to have to be together for most of it.

FI and I won't actually live together until about 3 weeks before the wedding due to house purchasing. sooo that's not really part of the equation for us since we already live apart. if the issue is how long should you not share a bed, then perhaps 2 weeks is fine. there is no rule. do what you do. it could be as simple as one of you sleeping in the guest room, couch or basement =P

hmacsine · June 2012

I agree with pp its up to you. My fi aren't spending anytime apart. We are spending the night together. Also, We are setting up the ceremony space at 7am then separating to get dress for our first look at 12. Our ceremony begins at 2.

kimiandgary · June 2012

We will say our goodbyes around 2:00 on Friday after the RL. I won't see him again until our first look around 2:30 on Saturday. My brothers are taking FI for the day to have some fun with his GM. (We are OOT). We have reserved a salon for a bunch of us to do mani/pedis. Should be fun!

HoneyBunny13 · June 2012

My FI and I have been living together since September 2010. We're getting married in May 2013. I do plan for him to stay at his parents house or at our apartment the night before and I will stay at my parents. However, we are responsible for set up and decorating at our venue and it's on a Sunday so there will definitely be a wedding there on Saturday, so we'll both be there bright & early Sunday morning doing that. But once we're done with that and have had lunch we will separate to shower & get ready and won't see each other until the ceremony.

I do agree that 2 weeks seems like a really long time and it might be difficult to get last minute stuff done if you can't see each other at all.
It's a personal choice and you should choose whatever will work best for you.

molly&dale · June 2012

We're getting married on Sunday. Well go to church together that morning. And probably part ways about noon when the hair stylist comes and I start getting ready. So for us, 3 hours.

PopPow · June 2012

We'll spend the night before together. Go to the venue together in the morning. He will go home about 1 and I will head off to hair and makeup. We'ree meet for first looks at 5:30. We've lived together for two years and I think once in those two years have we slept apart. Now's not the time to start. LOL

MangoSong · June 2012

It depends on your customs. Religious Jews don't see each other a week before the wedding. Traditionlally though, once the rehersal dinner is over the night before, you don't see each other. But it really depends on what you feel comfortsble with.

abbitha7 · June 2012

We're just spending the night before apart. I booked a suite for me and my bridesmaids so we can hang out before the wedding. It's really up to you and what you would like to do.

erbear84 · June 2012

I can't imagine getting much sleep the night before our wedding without him next to me (after nearly three years of him always being there )so I'm planning on spending the Friday night before the wedding with him, Saturday morning, and then seeing him again at the actual ceremony.

kipnus · June 2012

I left FI to drive up to my hometown on Saturday, and he won't be joining me until Thursday, the day before our wedding. It totally sucks.

We will hang out on Thursday at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, then he'll go to his hotel and I'll stay at my parents' house, and the next time we see each other, I'll be walking down the aisle!

NovaMetzler · June 2012

I've never really understood this tradition. My finace and I live together and have for almost two years, we plan on spending the night before the wedding together, the morning together, and then once we get to our location w will separate to get ready! We've been inseperable since day one, so some silly tradition isn't going to get in our way!

I'd say do it however you and your fiance want to! I am firm believer that the wedding should be just as the couple wants, not what everyone else wants!

how long do we stay apart?

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