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Need advice

emmalourobemmalourob
First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
Hello Everyone

I've been on The Knot for a few months now, but I just realized there was a Catholic board. 

I'm getting ready to marry someone that is not Catholic. He wants me to have the wedding of my dreams and knows I want a church wedding. We have a meeting set up to meet my priest but he is getting very nervous which is making me nervous. He's worried about what the priest might say as he has been married before but never in a church. I have never been married before so I don't what the priest will be asking. He's afraid the priest will say he wont marry us.

Can anyone advise me on what to do?
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Re: Need advice

  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    It sounds like your FI is divorced?  If so, he will need to have his previous marriage nullified by the Catholic church before the two of you can be married in the church.  From your wedding ticker, it looks like you've set a date almost 2 years from now, which should be enough time for the nullification to go through.

    Talk with the priest.  He can guide you through the next steps. 
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  • clearheavensclearheavens member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto mica178.
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  • kbarker719kbarker719
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is a happy time, so don't go in with any preconceived notions or fears of judgement and rejection.  Talk with the priest about your situation and let him guide you because that is what he is there for.  Be honest and open about your relationship, expectations, and your faith life and trust him to lead you where God wants you to be. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto mica. Annulments do take some time if you want your marriage to be full recognized by the Church, but you should have plenty of time to do so. Just be honest with the priest and I am sure he will guide you in the right direction.
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto the others about talking to the priest and just being open and honest. Since you have two years, you should have time for the annulment to go through.  Also, there is a good chance that the priest will not set a date or starting thinking about Marriage Prep until your FI's previous marriage is nullified. Be open to hearing what the priest has to say and really listen to him. Ask questions if you need clarification. The meeting should be just fine if you do all of that.
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  • meganb1977meganb1977 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Actually, if your fiance has never been married in the church, there shouldn't be any issues where he has to have his previous marriage annulled.  The first thing the priest will do is put both of you at ease, so don't sweat it!
    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:031132b5-02fa-4b1d-a270-5c256e57b201Post:f2780e96-9561-4547-8a15-a3e65a76a160">Re: Need advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]Actually, if your fiance has never been married in the church, there shouldn't be any issues where he has to have his previous marriage annulled.  The first thing the priest will do is put both of you at ease, so don't sweat it!
    Posted by meganb1977[/QUOTE]

    Actually, the Catholic church considers non-Catholic marriages as valid no matter where married. Only Catholics are bound by canon law.
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  • kml21636kml21636 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Coming from the opposite end (Not that I was married previously, but my FI Is Catholic and I am not.) You do have to go through some extra things, but it is still possible. We were in a Pre-Cana with a couple who had children, a couple that was previously married and so on. My Ballet teacher has been married twice, through the Catholic church. It is possible just take your time and communicate with the Church. They're there to help, not make life miserable. I was scared going to meet with Father the first time, but he gave us options and told us he would help us every way possible. Have faith!
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  • emmalourobemmalourob
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you everyone for the advice.

    I actually talked to my priest while I was taking my son to faith formation this past Sunday. We have an appointment next week but he did make the statement that since he was never married in a church that we didn't need to get the marriages annulled but there will be extra paperwork to do.

    Thanks again everyone Smile
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