Interracial Weddings

Survey!!!!

Thought I'd bring a new survey to this board...

How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?

Together for 3 1/2 yrs. Wedding in June 2012.

Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?

Eh, I think it's more of a cultural thing, not race, as I'm from the Caribbean and he's not.  I grew up totally different from him and sometimes miss that he sometimes doesn't know what I'm talking about. But overall, I don't care about the race thing (he's white, I'm black).

Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?

Yep.

How did your family react to your relationship?

I sometimes think my family likes him more than they like me!!!  lol They really welcomed him with open arms.  My family cooks his favorite foods when we visit; they don't even cook for me!  My mom was hesitant at first but has warmed to him.  My dad said to me "it may be hard out in the world sometimes, but I am always there for you and support you 100%"  That meant the world to me as I was a little nervous in what his reaction would be.

Does your DH's family like you at first?

They welcomed me.  I think it was a little weird for them at first because they don't know ANY black people.  But I really love his dad especially.  He's the nicest person in the world.  I couldn't ask for a better set of future in-laws.

Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before? 

No kids. Don't want any either.

 

Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?

Nope.

Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?

Just the reception music.  I have to have at least a few songs played so my Caribbean family can dance! haha


Re: Survey!!!!

  • leah2489leah2489 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?

    Together for 6 1/2 yrs. Wedding in June 2012.

    Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?

    No, we haven't really come across any hardships due to our races (I am white, he is Puerto Rican).

    Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?

    No

    How did your family react to your relationship?

    They were (and are) very supportive. FI is not the first man of color I dated, so they were used to the idea.

    Does your DH's family like you at first?

    Luckily I met his family as a friend of his brother before we started dating, so they already knew and loved me :)

    Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before? 

    Yes, we have a 5 year old daughter. No, it didn't make things more complicated for us. If anything, it made things easier for us to get our families together.

     

    Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?

    Nope none at all. Almost all of my friends are in interracial relationships, so its not a shocker in my circle lol.

     

    Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?

    Mainly just the music, as well as several different things such as the programs being in Spanish and English

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  • edited December 2011
    How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?

    Together for 2 yrs. Wedding in Sept 2012.

    Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?

    Never expected love to be easy!  I think that we are both open-minded gives us a lot of chances to learn from each other and keep things interesting.  I come from a super whitebread family where everyone is white and Catholic.  Boring!!!

    Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?

    Nope.  My FI isn't actually attracted to women of his same race.

    How did your family react to your relationship?

    Long story short my mom's side doesn't mind at all.  On my dad's side I no longer speak with his parents or sister because the are bigoted a$$holes.  Even tried counseling with the grandparents to realize that it is more important to them how their family looks to others than my happiness.  So bye-bye to them and haven't looked back.  My parents, brothers, and dad's brother and his family are all wonderful though.

    Does your DH's family like you at first?

    Yes they did.  But his parents have the grandbaby itch so I think they didn't care who I was as long as I have a viable uterus.

     

    Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before? 

    No kids. Want some in a few years though.

     

    Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?

    No!  They were my saving grace during all the drama with my grandparents.

     

    Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?

    Not really.  We are more trying to blend who the two of us our so everyone feels included.

  • arishiiaarishiia member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?

    Together for 2 years and 3 months. />.< Wedding is Oct. 4, 2012.

    Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?

    It would be so boring! I actually think things are harder when you're not willing to date outside your race (never know who your soul mate could be).

    Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?

    No. XD He doesn't care about skin colour.

    How did your family react to your relationship?

    My family was not surprised at all. Well, ok, they were a little. My sisters said they swore I Would end up bringing an Asian man home--but no, I brought home a Scottish one. @[email protected] Love him to bits though. My dad, however, does not like him--but this is because he is being a dad. (He doesn't think ANYONE is good enough for me) But my mom loves him (and that's all that really matters).

    Does your DH's family like you at first?

    I was actually surprised they did like me. His family has been living in a small town, and interracially is very very rare there. But his dad and grandma seem to love (especially because I cooked them breakfast when we first met...hehehehe)

     

    Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before? 

    No kids. But we both plan on having some in the future.

     

    Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?

    Nope. I get a lot of questions though. You'd be surprised at some of the ignorant questions you get. -_-!

     

    Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?

    Most definitely! We are planning on having a Scottish wedding. We are also trying to find a way to incorporate my Belizean/West Indian hertiage as well.

  • coopsbabycoopsbaby member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?
    serious  for~8 months. Wedding is (probably) March 2013 (still nailing that one down!)

    Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?
    Not at all. We have more in common than I did with my first husband who was same race as me, grew up in same area, etc. You just never know who you'll click with! We have more culture shock since I grew up in a very rural area and he grew up in Chicago, plus I went to public school and he went to a very nice private school, so sometimes we laugh about how different we grew up, but it's not race related really at all.

    Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?
    Nope, he likes us pasty white girls :)

    How did your family react to your relationship?
    Well, they were a bit surprised since he's the first person to join the family who is not white, small-town redneck basically, but they welcomed him happily. (They did however have a secret discussion to decide if any of the fmaily would have a problem since he's black. They dicided the only people that would care are my ex's family, and who cares about them.

    Does your DH's family like you at first?
    His mom is just so happy he finally found someone to settle down with she wouldn't care if I was purple! We get along very well, and I'm sure it helps that I'm not the first white girl in the family.


    Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before?  I have some from first marriage, none with him yet, but plan to asap! My kids (teens) all have close friends who are black and many other races, so it was just never an issue with them. 


    Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?

    Onlly real negativity I've gotten is from exH's family, who has stopped talking to me completely. Good riddance! Otherwise not at all. Most people are just so glad I found someone who makes me so happy, they couldn't care less.

    Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?
    We haven't planned to as of yet, but we're a ways out, so it's certainly a possibility.

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  • edited December 2011
    How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?

    Together for 1 year, 5 months. Wedding is sometime between May and Dec 2012, depending on visa and family issues (we're international- I'm American, He's Indian.)

    Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?

    No. Like others, I think of it more as a cultural thing, and the cultural differences make the relationship more fun, not more difficult.

    Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?

    No. And he's not the first man of another race I've dated either, but he is is the first Indian.

    How did your family react to your relationship?

    They were skeptical, but that's more because we met online than the race thing. My grandparents raised their eyebrows and looked at each other, but that's about the worse reaction I've gotten so far.  My mom likes him, but hates that I'm moving to India. My dad hasn't really told me how he feels about it, (he's the strong silent type) but he's not said anything bad, so I'm taking that as good.

    Does your DH's family like you at first?

    Yes, they seem to really like me. They're not too happy about my economic situation (I'm basically dirt poor) because if their son is going to marry an American, wouldn't make sense to marry one with money? Haha. But they like me okay. I'm not sure how his mom will feel when she finds out I'm a slob (she's obsessively, obssessively neat) but we'll find out... haha. But overall, I've gotten more of a 'yay, we get a daughter' reactions than a 'you're taking our son' stuff. (He's an only child, which makes it intense).

    Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before? 

    No, we're both childless. We do want kids though.  I want both biological and adopted kids, and I love that we're starting out interracial, so if we adopt interracially it'll be more like the normal thing in our family, instead of making anyone feel like they stick out.

     

    Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?

    Not over the race issue. I do get a lot of ignorance though, like someone said above, but I'm happy and patient to correct (Ryan isn't though. I laughingly told him that a friend of mine though 'Indian' was a language, and he didn't think it was funny because he says he's heard stuff like that way too many times.)  We do get some flak about being long distance and having met online, but we figure that'll go away when we're married, so we tough it out.

    Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?

    Yes. I'm planning on having my bridesmaids in saris and wearing silver&diamondlike Indian jewelry with my wedding gown, and we'll have a few Indian songs in the mix. Mainly Ryan's westernized though, since he lived in India as a kid, and we're both Christian so we're not having any Hindu elements.  Actually, for the India ceremony one of his best friends is super excited to go to a Christian wedding because he's never been to one before, which amuses me.

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  • edited December 2011
    How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?

    We've been together for 5 years and some change. We're getting married April 28 2012!

    Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?

    No, relationships are trying no matter what. And I often forget we're even an interracial couple. Culturally sometimes we're different, because he's Filipino and moved here when he was 12 so he was raised a certain way; and I'm black and grew up a certain way. So its just about understanding differences and finding common ground.

    Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?

    No

    How did your family react to your relationship?

    Race was never an issue. They ADORE my FI.

    Does your DH's family like you at first?

     

    They were very welcoming and have treated me as a part of the family since day one!


    Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before? 

    No, but we will start trying soon after the wedding =)

     

    Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?


    Never. My circle of friends is such a melting pot and I've never had a negative word towards us. We're quite lucky. Nothing but love and support.

     

    Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?

     

    A little bit with the food...we have some island inspired dishes that will remind him of the Philippines. Other than that, we're just doing what we like! =P

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  • How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?

    We've been together for about 4 1/2 years, we're getting married August 8 2012 (our fifth anniversary!)

    Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?

    No, not at all. Interracial marriage has always been a part of my life (my mother is Chinese and my father is Puerto Rican) so in a lot of ways I can't picture it  any other way!

    Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?

    Well, yes but that's because I'm his first woman, period! Same goes for me- he's my "first" by default.

    How did your family react to your relationship?

    They love him because he makes me happy, pure and simple. They could care less what color he is. Although I will admit it seems our famiy has a thing for "white people," lol; so far of the two siblings that are married and the four that are in serious relationships now, it's all with Caucasians.

    Does your DH's family like you at first?

     

    I think the age difference was more awkward than my race- I'm 8.5 years older than him. His mother has described me as the "woman who looks like a girl." What can I say, I guess my family's genetic blend ages well!


    Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before? 

    No, but we plan to have some. I can't imagine it being any more complicated than anyone else having kids. I have four neices and a nephew who are multi-racial and being bi-racial myself I just see it as the norm.

     

    Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?


    Never. It's been pretty much nothing but positivity!

     

    Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?

     

    Well, we're likely to have some Italian food but that's more for convenience and because it tends to be a reliable crowd favorite!

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  • How long have you been with your FI?  When's the wedding?

    5 years. Wedding in June 9, 2012.

    Do you sometimes wonder if things would be easier if your FI was of the same race as you?

    Easier, based on previous experience, nope.We relate to each other as lovers first, our sex second  and of the opposite race as third.

    Are you the first woman of another race your FI has been with?

    Yep! Though he says it all started with his fascination with TLC lmbo

    How did your family react to your relationship?

    They adore him!! If anything I feel a little more of a gap with his family but its mainly because my family is so accepting and open in general.

    Does your DH's family like you at first?


    I think they like me but are still secretly skeptical. Overall though they know I love their son and that I take care of him.

    Do you have children? If so, did it make things more complicated  than before? 

    No babies but we'll be practicing that process in about 4 mos...best believe it!! Lol jp we do want to wait a couple of years.
     

    Do you recieve a lot of negativity from your friends, coworkers and etc?

    Nope, they are very accepting and a lot of my gf's are in interracial relationships. Our church thrives on it!!


    Are you bringing any cultural elements into your wedding planning?

    Jumpin the broom and maybe some German traditions!

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