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Re: deleted

• mbcdefg member

  

  November 2009

  It seems like it's nothing personal ... rather, she's probably just upset that you're getting married and she doesn't even have a boyfriend yet.
  
  Your wedding isn't until 2011, so I don't get why she's bringing up wedding-related stuff now. Keep doing your best not to mention the wedding around her, and if SHE brings it up, quickly change the subject:
  
  Her: When you go shopping for your gown I want to try on some gowns too. Not that I'll ever get married at this rate, whine, moan, blah blah blah ...
  
  You: Speaking of dresses, did you hear that J. Crew is having a sale right now? Maybe we could go over there and check it out and see if they have anything good on clearance.
  
  And frankly, I don't really get what you'll "need her help" with. My wedding is 4 months away and I haven't had one lick of help from my BMs, nor have I needed it. Wedding planning is really not complicated, and if it IS then that's a sign that you need to scale things back.  You make a few calls and e-mails, visit some vendors, go shopping a couple of times, write out a few checks ... this is not something that you need an entire team of support for.  

  

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• tidetravel member

  

  November 2009

  Stop talking to her about the wedding.  It's almost 2 years away.  As you get closer, you can start talking wedding plans.  Hopefully by then, she'll be in a better place in her life.
  
  (FYI - I have a friend like that.  It sucks to try to do anything with her, because it always turns into a pity fest because "everyone's getting married"  "everyone's having babies"  and she'll "never find anyone that loves her..."  I pretty much avoid her now, because I can't stand the drama)
  
  This is also why you don't choose BMs this far out.  Relationships can change a lot over the span of 2 years, and you can't kick someone out of the wedding party, unless you are prepared to lose the friendship.

  Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
  http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  November 2009

  For starters, don't even bring up the topic of your wedding since it's over a year and a half away. 
  
  If you already asked your BMs then it's too late but if you haven't, don't even go there for another year so that 1, you know you're asking your nearest and dearest and 2, so that they won't be 'weddinged out' by the time your wedding rolls around.
  
  
  And since there's nothing wedding related that needs to come up now, just talk to her about her.  Arrange a girl's night out!  Tell her that you'll happily be the wingman now as you look for her Mr. Right. 
  
  And realize that she's happy for you but her immediate reaction is to be sad for herself BECAUSE you're so happy.  Don't take it as an insult.  She wants what you have!
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  November 2009

  I have been in your friend's shoes and it sucks.  I didn't bring it up as much as her, but I understand how she feels.  

  
  

  I agree with all pp have a fun girls night out, maybe scope guys for her.  

  I hated when my friends would ALWAYS bring their boyfriends, FI, or H when I just wanted to see MY friend.  

  
  

  Take a break from her if you need to.  

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