Life Changes (vent)

JMM4208 · December 2010

As some of you know, I have been working on my undergraduate degree and I have been having trouble with the classes that makeup my buisness and communication minors. Earlier this week I checked my grades and I failed a course that is only offered in the fall and is a pre-requisite to a list of classes that are only offered in the spring. I did this to myself, and the only options I have are:
A) Go back to school and take a whole semester +9 hours in the fall of "filler classes" that dont count
or

Withdraw this semester and return next fall to try again.
Right now I am a seasonal employee at a drugstore, and they love me and my work for the company. I don't think I would have a problem staying with them if I told them I needed to, in fact I think they would welcome it.
My problem is that I feel like a total failure, and I have never not finished something that I set out to do (like college). Sorry for the vent, I know its strange but venting to a group of strangers has already made me feel more calm about the whole situation. Now I have to decide between option A or B, I am thinking B is the more responsible and economical decision. Then get my things from school, withdrawal, and decide where I am going to go from there...

Thanks for listening, ladies. Is there anyone out there who has been through something similar to this, with any advice/encouragement?

Edit: Sorry for a P&R but I am going to try to force myself to go to bed.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

I think option B sounds a little better. It will give you time to work more and save more. Plus I've done the time off from school thing and it was the best idea ever.

JMM4208 · December 2010

Really? Ok, because every since i've had this dillemma i have done nothing but cry at everything and second guess myself. I just cant keep throwing money at it, and not have an end in sight. But if it was a good idea, then i feel a little better about it. Thanks

[Deleted User] · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_life-changes-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:48b5ee8f-6459-4507-a236-d0b5a38f4907Post:c1d94e94-bd61-4a1d-a864-d6745cee34f2">Re: Life Changes (vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]Really? Ok, because every since i've had this dillemma i have done nothing but cry at everything and second guess myself. I just cant keep throwing money at it, and not have an end in sight. But if it was a good idea, then i feel a little better about it. Thanks
Posted by JMM4208[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry you're unhappy. But yes, it was for the best. I've taken much longer then you plan on, but there were a lot of issues along the way.

PandaBurr · December 2010

I started community college straight out of high school, without a major in mind. About 3 quarters in, I totally dropped out and worked full-time instead. I ended up working for about two years, and that time really helped me decide what I wanted to do. Sure, I felt awful dropping out, but now I'm really glad I did.

Then I moved to Seattle and started community college up here, and transferred the the UW, and this last quarter I dropped again because I kept freaking out in class (woo PTSD...), and to focus on my counseling and figuring out my meds. I felt even MORE awful because it's the second time I dropped classes, AND it costs me $10k a quarter in tuition. Luckily they granted me a refund due to my condition, so it wasn't so bad. But here I am again, waiting for the next quarter to start, and like you, prerequisite classes were dropped. So now my graduation schedule is pushed back hopefully only 3 quarters, instead of an entire year. It sucks, especially since the people I grew up with are all working or have their Master's, or are a few years into their Doctorate's.

I think the best thing you can do is remind yourself that you're still young, and shiit happens, and the only thing you can do with roll with it. Oh, and don't be like me and think life is a race or some shiit like that and compare yourself to others, haha.

bethsmiles · December 2010

That sucks. I would go with option B. Its better to not waste your time, at least with option B you will be making money.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

Panda...I went straight out of HS too. Big mistake. I will NEVER pressure my future children like my Mom pressured me.

CFar13 · December 2010

I went straight out of high school and six years later now have my degree and teaching credential...which, with the state of the education department in california, is good for nothing. I suggest a break. It'll help you get your head straight and save up some money before jumping back in again. Also, classes that won't count for anything feel like a waste, I've done it. I hated them because I knew in my head that I didn't have to be there so I didn't want to try. Well, that's my 2 cents.

MLekathLEEN · December 2010

Unless there is a class you can take that you will need or you have to have classes to stay on your parents insurance, I'd go with option b. It'd be a waste of time and money to take classes just for the heck of it. Don't feel bad about failing a course. I just found out I failed a course. Lucky for me, i only have one prereq left and that wasnt it but I know how discouraging it feels right now. Especially when you just basically threw $1000+ down the drain. Like someone else said, sh!t happens. There are two things you can do at this point. You can either let it get you down or learn from your mistake and keep on truckin!

SeaTea02 · December 2010

Here are my suggestions:

Can you take that class at another college/university/tech college and have it transfer in and count? I have done that before when a course wasn't offered during a season I needed it. Most colleges have a big book in the registrar that will show you what counts for that class. Most colleges also just take transfers for credit, not toward your GPA so all you need is a C for it to transfer in.

If you don't want to take other classes I would see about just take one at another college while working.

Another question, are you sure you failed? Calculate your own grade. Professors make mistakes ALL the time. My Spanish professor put a C on my on-line transcript but in reality I had an 85 in the class.

You can also e-mail your professor and explain what you explained to us and ask if there is any way you can have it changed to an incomplete and do some extra work for him over break to bring the grade up to passing. The worst he can say is no.

The only reason I would suggest the fillers next semester is if they would boost your GPA. Are you interested in continuing your education or do you have a career path where it is an important factor?

loopy82 · December 2010

Maybe a break will be what you need. While I was working on finishing up my AA degree I hadn't been motivated to apply to the U for my BA/BS so I eneded up with a year off. It was really nice to have time off in between. My current opinion at the moment is that college degrees are over rated. Maybe this isn't everywhere, but at least around me all job postings seem to be focused most on experience than a degree. DH went to college for about a year, so no degree and he makes more than I ever will (unless I become a stripper.) So, if you can get an entry level job in the field you are interested in maybe you can work up from there.

When my dad reitred from the AF and moved back here he was looking for a job to utilize the Masters he earned. No such luck he had to take an lower level job that focused on the experience he had versus the education he had. Seeing that my dad with a Masters can't find anything better than I am looking for definitely makes me not go and throw money down the drain thinking that a higher degree will get me a job.

MissOwl · December 2010

Before you withdraw, try talking to the professors of the classes you had planned on taking in the spring. If you discuss your situation with them, they may let you take the classes anyway, even though you failed the prereq. Assure them that you will take the prereq over again the following fall and that you are very committed to the class. even offer to do an extra assignment or paper. it never hurts to ask. even if you only get into one or two of your classes that way, at least you won't be losing momentum and time? i'm sorry you're going through this. that really sucks. good luck with whatever option you choose.

SeaTea02 · December 2010

I agree with Owl too. Sometimes professors let it slide. Sometimes they don't even really check.

PaigeMcC · December 2010

Flunking a class SUCKS. I've only done it once but it was the most disappointing thing that had ever happened to me, at that point. I understand the feelings that you're going though - they suckkkkkk! But I think option two is your best. Unless you can take some necessary classes next semester than it's really just a waste of time and money. Go work for a semester, come back refreshed and ready to learn in the fall.

Also, there is something a friend said to me at one time that made me think: Failure is not a reflection on you. How you deal with that failure is the reflection. Enjoy your holidays, hunny.

desertsun · December 2010

I have to agree with Loopy -- degrees are overrated. My H doesn't have one and makes $20k more than me. He also gets a raise every year and I don't.

That said, I had a rough time in college and I have sooooo been in your shoes, JMM. Don't be afraid to take the time off if you honestly think it will benefit you. If there are some larger issues you need to work out it could be for the best.

But if it was maybe just the one class or one semester that you struggled with, then doing as PPs suggested and contacting professors is a good idea.

You really have to be honest with yourself about what is best for you. Going into another semester when you're not in the right place to do well is just kind of a waste, IMO.

GL and keep us updated!

Blue & White · December 2010

My only problem with B is that I've seen a lot of students not come back after that semester....
Can you take classes that aren't filler classes? Or perhaps a non-full semester in the spring? A class or two towards your degree that actually count and don't require the other class as a pre-req?

I'd talk to an advisor (and/or faculty mentor) to see what your options are before making any rash decisions.

Good luck!

calindi · December 2010

I agree with Blue - it's hard to go back. Can you take courses that will make you more marketable - take on a minor or something? Take some practical skills, like accounting or language, that will make you better qualified when you graduate?

There's no point in wasting your time and money on filler classes that mean nothing to you.

I totally disagree that a college degree is overrated - there may be fewer jobs in certain areas that require college degrees, but especially if you plan to live in or near a major city, it's a requirement. People with college degrees often have less labor-intensive jobs, which means it's not as hard on your body. Additionally, studies have shown that a person with a college degree earns $1 million more on average over the course of their lifetime than person without one. Does that mean there aren't highly successful people without college degrees? Bill Gates would be the classic example to argue that point. However, whenever possible, it's a good idea to get your degree. How you get there isn't as important - if you decide to take a semester off, it's not a big deal in the scheme of things. But DO get that degree!

You'll be fine no matter what - take a deep breath, realize that stuff happens and it's just a bump in the road, and figure out what's best for you for your next step. Good luck!

motoLyn · December 2010

Don't waste you money on taking classes that don't count. Taking a semester off shouldn't make you feel like a loser in anyway. Some times that's the best thing for you is to take a step back. College right out of high school isn't for just anyone. Unless you're focused and know what you want to do its hard, hell I know people who went to University knowing what they wanted to do and changed majors a year in. Also degrees aren't really that important but that depends on what career field you want to go into. Engineering and the hard sciences really focus on schooling, other industries take more emphasis on experience in real life field. Talk it out with people that you trust. Talk to your professor to see if he or she will let you get in the class without the perquisite or talk to your counselor to see what your full options are. Good luck.

JMM4208 · December 2010

First of all, I would like to thank all of you for the overwhelming amount of support. Your personal experiences, responses, and advice have been exactly what I needed to hear.
The friends I have tried talking to, heard the first "I wont be back" and then couldn't get off the phone or skype fast enough. I am so grateful for BF also, he has this mystical power to calm me down when I am freaking out and right now we are talking about the next step options.

To answer some questions: Yes I have talked to my professors and I have gotten the standard "you have to have the pre-requisites to take the course no matter what" from both the professors and the department chair. My biggest issue is that these are the classes that are required for my MINOR. I cannot opt out of the minor even though I have a 3.48 GPA in my major classes, apparently I am an amazing music market-er and music law but I suck at standard finance and economics.
I did go back and re-calculate my grade and it actually came out lower than what I was given on my transcript. Its just discouraging.

I am going to look into taking online courses in the summer to start chipping away on my degree. I mostly want the degree for myself, because I set out to do and I am going to complete it if it takes me 20 years of online courses.

The only thing I know for sure right now is that I have to go get my stuff out of the dorm. My boss and I had a long talk today and I may even be eligible for a promotion in the company if I do stay. I am hoping is a good step in the correct direction.

Again Thank you Ladies! and Sorry for the P&R, I am going to be a little scarce for the next week or so.

bethsmiles · December 2010

Don't be too hard on yourself. Life happens but I think this could be a really good opportunity for you work-wise. I'm sorry your friends weren't more helpful/supportive. But I think you will be happy with your decision

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