There goes my wedding.....

Madisonpenny · June 2012

Okay I'm going to be overly dramatic here but ugh I'm seriously not happy..

My dad has 3 brothers... I love them all but the youngest brothers daughters (my cousins) (there's 3 of them) are self-centered, "don't care about anyone but me" type of people and they have 3 kids each. None of my cousins have taught their children how to behave, in public or otherwise and I seriously think that a few of them are ADHD. At family reunions or gatherings all you hear are kids crying, whining or shouting at one another and it's always among these group of kids.

FI insisted that we "had" to invite children to the wedding, especially since our FG and RB would be at the reception. I insisted that we didn't, but to end the argument I gave in and said fine. He claimed there was 'no way" my cousins would accept since they live so far away and if they did, they absolutely wouldn't bring their kids. I claimed they would and replied to him with "free food, nuff said".

Well it turns out that those who have replied thus far with their RSVPs and have children have all decided to keep their kids at home. Makes me happy because I'm one of those people who believes a wedding is not a place for kids.

A few weeks ago I heard that they were coming but hadn't received their RSVPs yet and that they were trying to find a babysitter. Well I thought good, at least no kids.. Well today in a rare moment I spoke to 1 of the cousins and asked her if they were coming. She says "Yup, X and I will be there with the kids"... Great...
So naturally I reply back with (and because I sometimes forget to have a filter) "what your mom (my uncle and her mother are divorced) or X's parents couldn't babysit?" and she says "oh yeah we have a babysitter, my dad (my uncle) is going to babysit at the wedding".. I asked her if he was even aware and she said no... Yeah good times for him, running after spoiled brats..

I told my mom about this conversation and she got really pissed off, lol. She said she was going to get my dad to say something to my uncle along the lines of "Oh I hear your the babysitter for Andrea's wedding".. I'm sure he won't be pleased (and his girlfriend even less so) but he's the type of person who doesn't say no to anyone or anything and just does it.

Any suggestions in how to handle this would be wonderful.

Melissa.hylton · June 2012

My little brother who is 11 has ADHD so i completely understand why you wouldnt want a lot of crazy kids at the wedding. I have personally taken the time out to speak to anyone who has RSVPd with children and let them know we dont mind the children coming as long as they understand its NOT A PLAYGROUND. As for my brother goes, I straight up told my dad here are the ground rules; You keep him next to you or my step mother at all times. NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS! He agreed and understood. I also sat families with children with other families with children. I am supplying coloring books and activities to keep them occupied when need be.

A lot of FI and I's best friends all just had children in the last year and a half. Seriously at one point there was 8 of us pregnant at the same time, and we all ended up having girls except 1 boy! We both have very large families and have about 20 kids attending. 12 and under all family or babies from our friends.

FI said " you would think people would want to get a sitter to enjoy a night out, but they dont all think like us" I said yep! We were invited to a wedding last September with the option to bring our 2 children and we opted out and found a sitter. They have had plenty of time to find a sitter, I think it was just easier for your family to bring them along then have someone have to deal with them.

Why is your uncle the sitter? WHY ARENT THE PARENTS?????? If you arent going to take responsibility for your children at an event there is NO POINT in bringing them so you can dump them off on someone else!?

Madisonpenny · June 2012

Exactly about the grandfather babysitting while it should be the parents

The majority of our friends and alot of family all have young children but they are all leaving their children at home, other than the 3 cousins noted above.

I forgot to mention in my OP that we went to a wedding last year and the kids were there at this wedding as well. Well 2 of the boys thought it would be great to start running up and down the aisle at the church while the bride was being walked down by her father. The kids parents didn't care.
Where the reception was held there was a pond just outside the hall and the kids though it would be a great idea to go swimming in their dress clothes . The Moms and dads thought it was 'cute" while the kids ran inside and got the floor soaked (and deadly slippery).

I reminded FI of theses incidents and he still argued we coudln't invite some kids and not others.. I argued to not invite ANY. /Sigh

owengirl996 · June 2012

All I can say is, I'm sorry!! That really sucks. I completely agree with having your dad "casually" mention it lol I'd totally do that too.

Good luck, I really hope it's worse in your head than it turns out to be at your wedding!

littlemoments324 · June 2012

well there really is nothing you can do now...=( I wouldn't have put my foot down on the subject...=(

fritzploessl · June 2012

Just an idea, find someone to babysit for the kids . I know how you feel, so we are adding a kids area to help keep them busy and not screaming!

Madisonpenny · June 2012

My biggest fear is during the ceremony, not the reception. Our entire wedding is taking place outdoors so I can see the kids (and their parents) thinking that the entire property will be a complete free for all, not to mention there is a pool on the property and where the cocktail hour will be taking place. Ugh... I had nightmares lastnight cause it's all I can think about.

I have my fingers crossed for my dad and whatever he's going to say to his brother. My dad called me lastnight and said.. "Don't worry Andrea.. if it comes down to it, I'll be the a$$hole, nothing going to ruin your day including these kids". Thanks dad.

At the above mentioned wedding, she had coloring books and other activities at her wedding as well for the kids. These kids in particular started whipping the crayons at each other and used the books to rip up and use as confetti. They are SPAWNS OF SATAN!!

michelle11988 · June 2012

I'm really sorry you have to host these terrors of children and their parents. I would just have your dad casually remind them that this is a formal event and that noone in the wedding nor the venue will appreciate the children running around and ruining things. I would definitely have my dad just pick up the children and throw them in the pool if they were acting stupid and tell the parents they are now being removed from the party, the end.

kidlets2 · June 2012

Could you have a close friend or family member "on call" during the ceremony and seated by them? Then if they become disruptive, that person could quietly take them aside and away from the ceremony area? Not sure if you are having your ceremony videographed but if they become loud & obnoxious it could ruin your video. Maybe use that as your 'excuse'...not that you need one.

KatieK501 · June 2012

I'm sorry that you are so stressed about this! There will be lots of children at our wedding, and we are looking forward to having them there - though none of them sound quite as bad as your cousins.

I will say this - every wedding I've been in (and I've been a bridesmaid quite a few times!) - something has not gone quite according to plan. Sometimes it's something silly like the ring barer playing during the ceremony causing all of us bridesmaids to laugh. Sometimes it's something BIG - like the photographer going to the wrong location - in the wrong state - with no chance of making the wedding. Believe me - she would have been thrilled if all that happened was some kid running down the aisle in the video. There will probably be something that doesn't happen just the way you want it. You can either let it ruin what should be one of the best days of your life....or you can try to roll with what comes and make the most of it, because I'm sure it won't be as big a deal to all the other guests as it is to you.

Madisonpenny · June 2012

Oh I don't expect everything to go as planned. believe me.
It's these kids I don't want there. I wasn't even going to invite my cousins what so ever but the moment my grandmother found out she called me in tears. So I invited them.
Then FI insisted that we had to invite children to the wedding as well. We argued for a full week about this point. I finally let him win this one. He now sides with me.
I know I can have things that will keep them entertained but believe me I can see these items giving them incentive in getting into even more trouble. If they do end up coming i'm hoping they'll be so bored they'll go sleep in the car (only in my dreams).
When I said that my dad said that nothing is going to ruin my dad I meant as in he's basically going to put his foot down and tell them he's hosting and he's saying no.

There goes my wedding.....

Re: There goes my wedding.....

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