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How do I word this?

SonaliPopSonaliPop member
First Comment
in South Asian Weddings
Since our events will be taking place in various places (in terms of country) and our guests will be giving gifts from both sides of the pond, we don't want any boxed or wrapped gifts and will not be having a registry. Also because we don't really need to register for anything. We will be living in his parents house and the only things we need to be are stuff for the bedroom.

So how do I write this?

Do I just write 'No Boxed Gifts Please'? Sometimes people ignore that.

Are you placing a large card box at your reception?

If so, are you making it? Buying it? What does it look like?
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Re: How do I word this?

  • HinajHinaj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I personally hate the whole "No Boxed Gifts Please" idea, but that's me personally.  I especially hate seeing it on Invitations, but that's my pet peeve.  If you don't want to get gifts because you are moving, simply don't register anywhere and have your parents spread it word of mouth, that "Since XX and XX will be living out of the country, the logisitcs of moving gifts are ......and so on..  Guests will get the idea, and most desi people usually give cash anyways and the people who ignore it will still ignore it regardless of what you would do. 

    We are not having a card box at the reception. 
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  • HinajHinaj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Also, most people get the idea when you don't register anywhere. 
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  • jnsainijnsaini
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey Sonali
    I did not mention this on our wedding invitation, I am not a sucker for gifts :) but
    I said this on our website to clue our guests, trying to keep a sense of humor - "We wont be registering for our wedding, since neither of us will have a permanent residence for a while,so no boxed gifts we beg you please!"

    If someone takes offense too it, they are thinking to much into it
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  • Bhanu&AnujBhanu&Anuj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    My parents didn't like the 'no boxed gifts please' but they debated it out and they liked this better then anything else...so we wrote it and people still asked what we would like :S

    I've had people ask me directly what I want... meaning they don't go thru my parents who could easily say only cash gifts...

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • HinajHinaj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:c338af58-1289-4823-a6cd-42279a1d741bPost:0340d572-a447-4d1c-911e-72ab5bd3df23">Re: How do I word this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My parents didn't like the 'no boxed gifts please' but they debated it out and they liked this better then anything else...so we wrote it and people still asked what we would like :S I've had people ask me directly what I want... meaning they don't go thru my parents who could easily say only cash gifts...
    Posted by Bhanu&Anuj[/QUOTE]


    Bhanu, of course there are some people who just don't read.  LOL. And there are those that really want to buy something for you regardless, and they will ask what you really want even if you have a registry.
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  • HinajHinaj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:c338af58-1289-4823-a6cd-42279a1d741bPost:b6b80b13-6e3c-4ac8-869c-6be2db2873b9">Re: How do I word this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey Sonali I did not mention this on our wedding invitation, I am not a sucker for gifts :) but I said this on our website to clue our guests, trying to keep a sense of humor - "We wont be registering for our wedding, since neither of us will have a permanent residence for a while,so no boxed gifts we beg you please!" If someone takes offense too it, they are thinking to much into it
    Posted by jnsaini[/QUOTE]

    Nicky, I don't take offense to people not wanting gifts, because they might already have everything they need, or are not living in a house where they would be storing those things which are completely legit reasons.  I might not like the idea, but I understand not everyone can register for gifts.  My problem arises from writing in on your invitations, which I have seen many desi couples do, I just think they are better ways of letting your guest know.  I like your idea, it is funny/quirky and its on the website, and not on the invitations.  I think that is the way to go or word of mouth when it comes to these things and the smart ones can always figure it out on their own (most of the time) or put it on the website. I think there are correct ways of doing it, and most people do not bother figuring it out, and I think that is why it has become my pet peeve.  LOL. 
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  • jnsainijnsaini
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hina

    I agree with you, I would never put it on the invitation..I meant if ppl take offense of it on the website about the side note I mentioned there..lol
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  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am looking at the invitation for my cousin's wedding from last year. Not only does it not give a place where they are registered, but it also does not say 'No Boxed Gifts'. But at the reception, there was a big envelope box. I guess there is more of an understanding in the UK, where almost all your guests are bound to be your Indian relatives and family friends.
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  • raangoliraangoli
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you want to go by proper etiquette, then gifts, whether it be a reference to "no boxed gifts" or to a couple's registry should never be mentioned on a wedding invitation.

    That said, you can mention it on a wedding shower invitation that is a couple is registred at XYZ or has chosen not to register for whatever reason, etc. etc.

    But for some reason, desi invitations never seem to follow proper etiquette and have gift registry or "no boxed gifts" mentioned on the invitations.
    ExerciseMilestone
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  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Lol, desi lifestyle in general tends to poo-poo ettiquette in terms of the Western World. Indian Standard Time is a great example...never wanting to RSVP is another! But I think Indian people are more understanding and forgiving as well in terms of those things.
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  • HinajHinaj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_word-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:c338af58-1289-4823-a6cd-42279a1d741bPost:a915dee9-6aa6-4b30-abd7-b9cfd52a9124">Re: How do I word this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lol, desi lifestyle in general tends to poo-poo ettiquette in terms of the Western World. Indian Standard Time is a great example...never wanting to RSVP is another! But I think Indian people are more understanding and forgiving as well in terms of those things.
    Posted by SonaliPop[/QUOTE]


    I think we just get used to it, something like ettiquette being followed by desi people are rare and those people are a minority.  I think you notice most of it on the wedding, with exactly the things you listed Sonali. 
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  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Re: no boxed gifts:

    1) Don't register anywhere
    2) Don't put it in the invitation
    3) If you have a weDsite, don't post registry information

    4) Spread the word by mouth (talking) to your mom and dad, close friends.  If anyone asks them, then they can pass on the message that the Presents that You and the Groom are requesting is their Presence :)

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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