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Wedding Etiquette Forum

How far is too far?

I guess background info is needed.  I grew up in PA, outside Philly in the boondocks and have moved to MD for my job.  My FI grew up in NC, where my dad did funny enough, and is stationed in MD where we met.  He doesn't have many close relatives he wants to invite to the wedding and the ones he does want to invite are willing to travel.  His buddies are moving to VA after this year, but again willing to travel.  I have a HUGE family in NC but another HUGE family in PA along with friends. 

Since his side is willing to travel and the majority of my guests are in PA we have been looking at venues in PA, basing distance off my hometown.  I'm from a small hick town, so the wedding venues are few and not very nice.  So the places I'm looking at are an hour away.   There is also one place in MD I want to look at that's within the 1 hour travel distance.

I understand destination weddings and people not attending because of distance.  I don't want mine to feel like a destination at all. So my question is: how long of a travel time is too long to ask guests to endure?  I also want to add, I'm looking at venues to have both ceremony and reception.  This way, even though it's an hour drive, it's a one stop deal.  Since his side will be OOT, close hotels are a must.

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Re: How far is too far?

  • Honestly, I've traveled to every wedding I've ever been to.  I'm not sure I've ever been to a local wedding.  I assume it just comes with the territory.

    An hour isn't so bad.  People can drive home after it's over if they want so it's not like you're making it so that they have no choice but to stay the night.

    I think an hour is fine.  My fiance and I are going to wedding in a few weeks and are considering driving home after.  That's a 2.5 hour drive for us home.  We do what we have to do!
  • An hour from most of your guests? Is probably fine. I'd block hotel rooms nearby in case they want to stay over. Like Joy, I've never been to a local wedding in my current city. And something like 2/3 of my guests actually had to fly to get to my wedding, including every single one of our family members.
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  • I would travel about an hour.

    I'm curious, where did you grow up near Philly. I live in the hicks outside Philly. I've actually had an argument with my husband if we're considered the suburbs of Philly. I lost that battle.
  • I agree I think that an hour to travel is fine, but maybe look at hotel venues so the guests have a one-stop-shop for wedding, reception, and hotel.
  • mana and still, I'm curious where you both are from. I grew up in central Bucks County.
  • Chester County here... ALMOST Lancaster county.

    The only "local" wedding I've been to were church weddings then off to the fire dept/fire hall!  Not quite what I'm looking for in a reception hall.

    I keep telling myself people in my area are used to driving an hour ANYWHERE, movies, restaurants, but I think I'm paranoid no one will show up haha.

    Parker624 - FI and I are looking for a more rustic venue then ballroom.  The place I love we'd get married outside, cocktail hour in a restored barn then a big flowy tent for the reception.  We want to keep to our country root but still have a nice place.
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  • I'm on the Chester/Lancaster county line too. And I am also used to driving long distances for anything. And you're right, there's nothing around this side of the county.
  • I think an hour is fine.
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  • mana what is the MD venue you are looking at?
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  • edited October 2010
    It sounds like no matter where you have the wedding guests will have to travel.  Don't worry about it and choose the location that means the most to you. 

    I had this problem too, we probably got more declines (%40) because of it, but the people who wanted to be there were.

    EDIT:
    I am happy to travel to weddings for friends and family. An hour is close enough that people can easily drive home if they have not been drinking.     
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  • My FI and I live 3.5 hours apart, and we're having the wedding where he live's since we will be living there after. But because of this, most of my guests will have to make that 3.5 hour drive if they want to come. I guess if they wan't to be there they'll find a way.  I am kinda curious as to who will show up..
    ...... Wedding Countdown Ticker ...... 135 Have an invitation image 0 Can't wait to come image 0 Say its too far to travel image 135 Need to contact me ASAP RSVP June 3rd.
  • I'm really late to this, but an hour is no big deal.  I used to live in Annapolis and drove at least an hour plus to weddings in DC and VA all the time.  Just part of daily life in that area.
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