So I'm having some family issues and I would love to know how you ladies would handle this.
My mother hasn't spoken to her family in almost 24-25 years, she hasn't even been much of a mom to me. We speak rarely and it wasn't until I became engaged that she started putting effort into knowing me. My grandparents basically raised me as their own. They have been there for me consistently through all the ups and downs, even when I had a rebellious period and wasn't the nicest person.
Now my mother wants to come to our wedding, I know she wants to be part of my life more. But I just can't invite her. As much as I wish she could come and be a part of that day-it would be a slap in the face to my grandparents, my aunt & uncle and every other family member that has been there for me even though my mother disowned them.
I just don't know how to have that conversation with my mom. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she kind of brought this on herself. She wasn't there for so long (disowned me at 16, took my Step-father's side and still has not acknowledged the abuse he did when I was a child) That's the reason she won't speak to her family, she choose her new husband over everything else.
Any advice would be appreciated. As dumb as it sounds, I want to have her in my life so I don't want to be rude to her. I want to find a way to make her understand that it would be devastating to my grandparents to have her there after not seeing/speaking to her in 24 years.