Poll: Head table

rsfan23 · April 2011

Out of my own curiosity, I was wondering if you all are doing a head table or not?

I keep reading the posts on E about how head tables are rude and I am genuinely curious as to what you think.

Thanks!

kevinandmonica2011 · April 2011

The e-board thinks everything is rude. lol

I have never been to a wedding without a head table. That said (with all the hub bub about how rude and horrible it is for your BP to have to suffer through a whole dinner without their date)... I actually sent out an email to my BMs asking them if they had a preference. I got one "I don't care, it's your day" (which made me gag a little) from someone who isn't even bringing a date back... lol. I hope that the others would tell me if they would prefer to sit with their dates, but at the same time I am guessing none of them want to sound like a PITA... and I think it's something that generally comes with the package deal of being a BM. I have already told them also that, unfortunately, there is not enough room in the limo to accomodate their dates and let them know that if they would prefer to ride with their dates to the reception, that is totally fine. I got a resounding "hell no" on that one too. lol.

I think most of the dates will end up carpooling and then sitting together at the same table, along with many of our other younger friends.

I get that it's kind of annoying (moreso for the date than the people in the BP) to have to sit through dinner at a different tableople they don't know... but come on... it's one meal... you'll be dancing together all night. I think most people can deal.

crystaldes1029 · April 2011

We didnt do a head table or a sweetheart table. We figured A. our BP all had dates and why wouldn't they want to sit next to them. B. We were only sitting to eat for like 15 seconds and C. It makes the room look kind of awkward.

We just had all 8 top rounds and our table was configured in the middle more in the center of everyone else with our best man, his date and moh's and their dates. It worked out so much better. GL!

rsfan23 · April 2011

Most of the weddings I've been to have had the head table. I should add, they've all been in this area. I was one of the SO's at the 'other' table and I didn't have a problem with it, my FI was able to dance with me. I like the idea of asking the BMs how they feel. I'm still debating in my head what I want to do.

Thanks

DondadaTimes2 · April 2011

Were doing a head table. Ive only been to 1 wedding without a head table (and greatful b/c Josh was a GM and we ended up sitting together and dating) but I thought it was weird. Its a short time for dinner for night of their lives, they can handle it. And to make sure Im not biitchy, I made sure everyone was ok with it. GM already said he warned his date that shes be on her own pretty much until after dinner but that Id seat her with our friends so she had people with common interest to talk to. She understood.

So yeah. F the e-board and their "what we say goes" chit. Im all for a head table

rsfan23 · April 2011

This makes me feel a lot better after reading the E board. I am pretty sure Chad wants a head table, and since it's something he wants, we're going to have it. I was planning on putting the SO's of the WP at one table or at least mixed with the parents. Some of them know each other. I wonder if head tables are a regional thing.

kevinandmonica2011 · April 2011

I am all about accomodating guests, accomodating the WP, accomodating everyone.... but I think calling a head table "rude" (e-board) is a bit much... Come on... if you have ever attended a formal event where there is a guest (or guests) of honor, there is a head table. The WP are basiclaly all honor guests at the wedding. I think seating them at the front of the room alongside the bride and groom is an honor.... it's not exactly your average dinner party, ya know?

I grew up in Florida and attended weddings there- head table. I attended a wedding when I lived in Mississippi- head table. I had a friend married in Michigan last year... saw pictrues... head table. Also California... head table. and a destination wedding in Aruba... head table. I don't think it's regional.... I really think it's traditional.

ChelseaB425 · April 2011

We're doing a sweetheart table or a head table that includes our bridal party's dates. I want everyone to feel comfortable during the event. I've only been to one wedding with a head table and my poor fiancee had to sit with complete strangers since I was a bridesmaid.

I think head tables are getting a bit outdated. When I was planning a NJ or NYC wedding, we looked a several venues - many scoffed at the idea of a head table. I was rather surprised.

kevinandmonica2011 · April 2011

Minor thread jack....

They also wear things like this in NYC...

and call it fashion... just sayin...

We considered doing the head table w/ dates too.... but I figured a 24+ person head table would be a bit ridiculous.

End thread jack. Sorry, OP. (Go Sox!! Does that make up for it?)

blakgarnet · April 2011

I haven't been to a wedding with a head table in years until my FI's brother's wedding last summer. my FI was the best man and of course seated at the head table. I was seated with all the other dates - most of whom went to college together and I was the odd one out - pretty lonely and boring for an hour. especially when watching my FI, his family (the only ones I knew at the wedding) all sitting together and having a ball. I swore on that day that I wanted everyone at my wedding to be comfortable and have the best time possible... no head table for us. why not sit all the bridesmaids and their dates together (they've all met at one point or another) and all the groomsmen and their dates together (most know each other) and then sit with our close family since it's not like we're really going to sit and eat anyway.

crystaldes1029 · April 2011

Most weddings i've been to have a head table or sweetheart or a combo of the two. They are popular... and side not when planning my nuptials my mom made the comment that when she got married there was no such thing as a head table (1978ish) So they are a fairly new idea which would make etiquette snobs nervous. New = bad to them.

Go with what makes everyone (FI & You) Happy!

sbolger17 · April 2011

Our venue fits better with tables of 6 or 8-10 rather than a head table. So we're going to do a table of 6 with us, BM and his girlfriend, and MOH and her husband. Then I think we're going to scatter the other GM/BM around the room with their appropriate "peer groups." This is how most of the weddings I've been to recently have been done, and I think it works well and makes everyone happy.

I don't think a head table is rude (and I think visually it looks pretty cool), but as a date of someone in the wedding party, I wouldn't be too happy to find out that I couldn't sit with them unless I knew the other people at my table pretty well.

rsfan23 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_poll-head-table?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:621Discussion:10b51cbe-96ff-43fe-b37b-df8d3eed585cPost:e650347e-1733-4eb2-9fa8-7311973efb7a">Re: Poll: Head table</a>:
[QUOTE]Minor thread jack.... They also wear things like this in NYC... and call it fashion... just sayin... We considered doing the head table w/ dates too.... but I figured a 24+ person head table would be a bit ridiculous. End thread jack. Sorry, OP. (Go Sox!! Does that make up for it?)
Posted by kevinandmonica2011[/QUOTE]
HAHA! I love it Monica and yes Go Sox! I hope they win today!

rsfan23 · April 2011

Thanks everyone, I'm going to take all of the suggestions and talk to my FI and see what he wants to do. You all had some really good suggestions.

Happily9 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_central-new-york_poll-head-table?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:621Discussion:10b51cbe-96ff-43fe-b37b-df8d3eed585cPost:e650347e-1733-4eb2-9fa8-7311973efb7a">Re: Poll: Head table</a>:
[QUOTE]Minor thread jack.... They also wear things like this in NYC... and call it fashion... just sayin... We considered doing the head table w/ dates too.... but I figured a 24+ person head table would be a bit ridiculous. End thread jack. Sorry, OP. (Go Sox!! Does that make up for it?)
Posted by kevinandmonica2011[/QUOTE]

THAT WAS JUST TOO FUNNY!!!......and I agree!

But, I am also doing a head table...but think I am going to also poll my BP and see if they want to sit with their dates or not....good idea!

Grau · April 2011

All the weddings I have ever been to have had a head table. And, I agree that it is to be expected (at least in my circle), and after the dinner portion everyone gets and walks around anyways. It may be uncomfortable for the SO, but I'm sure they can survive for a hour.

With that said, me and FI are thinking about doing a sweetheart table. I like the idea that (hopefully) we will be able to sit down and eat for a few minutes without being disturbed (probably just a dream though).

Catrina'nMatt · April 2011

My sister had a sweetheart table at her wedding and I really like the idea so we're doing a sweetheart table at mine too. I wouldn't call a head table rude but I don't personally care for them. I think everyone should be able to see each other and talk to each other and with a head table your BP doesn't really get to do that.

acmj11 · April 2011

We're having a sweetheart table. I can't think of any negatives to having a sweetheart table, and I know my BP will enjoy sitting w/their SO's. I think it's a win-win situation.

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