Reception without dinner

ritzcrackerrs · April 2011

Hello everyone! Forgive me if this topic has been discussed a lot here, but I'm looking for some opinions on having a wedding reception but not serving a sit-down dinner. Instead we would have tapas-like appetizers, cake and drinks and dancing. This would obviously mean clearly indicating that on the invites and hosting a later ceremony: thinking 7:30 or 8 p.m. We're also looking at Chicago venues that would have lounges and tables to seat oh, 50 or so people at any given time.

Has anyone done this recently or been to a wedding like this recently? Anyone had really negative reactions from guests?

Because we have some out-of-town family coming in (many from Milwaukee, so not too far), we were considering doing a next-day event, such as bowling, that we could fund for a grillion dollars less than a sit-down dinner, that would give our guests more time to connect during their stay. Has anyone ever done this?

slwager · April 2011

it has been well covered here but what you're doing sounds great. Your guests will (hopefully) understand that your start time indicates a non-dinner function. Even if they don't tapas can serve as a meal.

I love your idea about a day-after event. And I think it's great that you want to provide your OOT-ers with more than one hosted event.

Snippylynn · April 2011

Sounds great. The things you always have to consider when having an app reception:
- Enough food
- Variety of food
- Hosted at a non-"meal" time.

Sounds like you have them covered.

sarabellam · April 2011

Appetizers (tapas, however you want to refer to them) are not necessarily a money saver. They can be very labor intensive and thus more expensive than you are anticipating. You are on the right track, though, by not having the reception at a meal time.

sarah0725 · April 2011

I think all of that sounds excellent, although you might want to put the words "cocktail reception" somewhere either on your invitation or website to give one extra little heads up.

Also, I would like a grillion dollars.

hannahj1983 · April 2011

My sister did a cocktail party wedding, it was a blast and tons of food- it wasn't any cheaper though, I guess it could be. She just wanted to skip a sit down, she finds them boring I guess. To bad she has to sit thru mine

doctabroccoli · April 2011

I was recently at a heavy apps reception that was at a meal time. I didn't particularly enjoy it as there wasn't enough seating or tables to sit at or eat on. I was sitting on the floor at one point because my feet hurt so badly. I think I was more annoyed at the seating situation than the food, and you said you won't have enough seating for everyone, which is why I'm mentioning this.

Snippylynn · April 2011

Fail. I should clearly not be responding to posts when I can't read them properly.

lyndausvi · April 2011

Personally I would expect enough food to be considered a meal. I really do not care how it's presented (sit-down, buffet, stations, whatever).

orangejulius · April 2011

As long as there is plenty of food I think it's okay. I think I would still expect people to eat a lot even at an "after dinner time" reception simply because they may not have time to eat before the ceremony. Most times people are getting ready, driving and etc. and just wait to eat at the wedding. And you need to have a seat for every butt. Good luck

adunn09 · April 2011

We're also doing an appetizer reception and we did save some money doing this as opposed to a full meal. Plus, our church doesn't do weddings past early afternoon, so it would've been weird for us to have a full meal with the time our reception starts.

I would suggest you might want to think about providing seating for everyone. Like a PP said, it is kind of exhausting and frustrating to try and eat when you can't find a seat.

ritzcrackerrs · April 2011

Well, part of the savings would be in the venue itself: we could rent a smaller and less expensive place that we otherwise couldn't if we wanted a sit-down dinner. I think the reception would be a bit shorter or at least kept to the generally 4-hour time slots venues seem to offer. I was also thinking the later time gave us an opporunity to look at having a Friday wedding. Plus, personally, like your sister hannahj, I think the dinners are a bit boring and slow! haha

But thanks for the tips that it might not save me money on the food costs! I'll have to look at that with caterers.

Also, good point on the seating. We'll probably look for more.

NOLAbridealmost · April 2011

I love non-sit down dinner receptions, but make sure there is ample seating for every single guest. Trust me on this. Woman + heels + no chair = unhappy guest. You wouldn't necessarily need seats at a table for every guest (if no forks or knives are required for your tapas), but at least have chairs scattered around that people can use to take a load off.

Sarahkayfa · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-dinner-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:659ad1f7-daa4-4987-8d81-ae8581311a30Post:09214c06-6d2c-4e11-988a-6e1d07aa18fe">Re: Reception without dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Appetizers (tapas, however you want to refer to them) are not necessarily a money saver. They can be very labor intensive and thus more expensive than you are anticipating. You are on the right track, though, by not having the reception at a meal time.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]
This....Much more labor intensive to prepare.

Karen's MOH · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-dinner-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:659ad1f7-daa4-4987-8d81-ae8581311a30Post:16ffec23-b5ea-44d8-b436-956a6f92c46c">Re: Reception without dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]I love non-sit down dinner receptions, but make sure there is ample seating for every single guest. Trust me on this. Woman + heels + no chair = unhappy guest. You wouldn't necessarily need seats at a table for every guest (if no forks or knives are required for your tapas), but at least have chairs scattered around that people can use to take a load off.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

This is what I'm thinking. It could even be lounge type seating, like some sofas and side tables and stuff, in addition to some regular tables and chairs, and maybe high top tables that people can stand around. I hate when I have a drink in one hand, holding my purse, and an appetizer comes by that I want to try but my hands are full and there is no place to put anything down. And people tend to leave their belongings on their chair, so pretty much 'claim' the chair, whether they mean to or not, so you can end up with empty chairs and people who want to sit but feel they would be stealing someone's seat.

However--- the food part of what you said sounds great, if not much of a cost savings. The apps are usually the best part of wedding food anyway!

mandysmear · April 2011

i did an appy reception. wasn't much cheaper cause we had LOTS. but, yeah i don't like sit down meals as much as apps. so it was awesome. great food. and plenty for our guests to be filled up.

RebeccaB88 · April 2011

The only thing I have to say is to make sure you have a seat for each and every butt in attendance, Please. Comfortable seating makes people feel welcome. If I don't feel welcome, I will leave. I know you don't want people leaving your wedding because they're uncomfortable standing because they can't find a seat. If you do hi-top tables, you need high seats to go with them.

ritzcrackerrs · April 2011

Sounds like seating is the big issue. We'll be sure to seat everyone. Thanks!

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