Cocktail Style Wedding Reception

kimberlyr22 · December 2011

We've recently revamped our wedding due to my dad's insistance that we not spend the $15k we were originally planning, and make is closer to $7k. (We're paying, my parents are not, but my dad has always been a saver and a stickler for not "wasting" money).

We are now looking at renting out the Master Suite at one of the better hotels/conference centers in our area. The Suite is a two-story, 1700 sq foot space that offers two living/reception spaces and several bedrooms that can be turned into mingling rooms.

I know that typically if you're going to have a wedding around meal times, you should have a formal meal...however, we are planning a 5:30/6:00 ceremony with our cocktail style reception afterwards.

This reception would include several display hors d'ouerve options -- cheese/crackers, crab dips, veggies, fruits, etc (available entire party); five or six passed options (first hour); and then action stations including pasta, carving, mashed potatoe bar, sushi (second-third hour). Followed by cake cutting and dessert selections as the night wound down.

I'm a big proponent of having more than enough food so everyone is happy and full when they leave a party of mine. Even though we aren't having a full formal meal, would you have enough options and be satisfied without the formal dinner from the menu above? We're also planning adequate seating (regular tables, cocktail tables, lounge furniture with end tables, etc) for guests so they're not standing up all night.

Thanks!

kimberlyr22 · December 2011

I should have added that we chopped the guest list from 130 to 50...and the venue change went from outside catering to inside catering. Also the Masters Suite doesn't lend itself to a full meal set up, as it's kind of like hosting a wedding in a large house.

Unfortunately, my dad's approval means a lot to me, and when thinking rationally, lowering our monthly mortgage payment by $200 means more to me than a big wedding too. I'll still get to have everything I want in a wedding - beautiful venue with all the important people surrounding us. We're just negating some of the semi-important people who, in all honesty, we probably haven't personally spoken with in over a year anyway.

Sue-n-Kevin · December 2011

I agree with the other poster: have you priced out the options of a buffet with small plates versuse appetizers? You might find they are similar.

It sounds as though you put a lot of thought into it. I ALWAYS agree with having the wedding you can afford.

But I also agree you need to make your decision on what YOU and your FIANCE want. Sometimes the pressure to please parents can affect what YOU think instead of your parents. Not meant in a mean way, just make sure you are getting what you both want and not letting your Dad decide YOUR wedding that YOU are paying for.

kimberlyr22 · December 2011

The difference between a happy, supportive dad on my wedding day and a not happy, unsupportive dad on my wedding day is a pretty simple choice. I'm not going to apologize for being 30 and still caring about what my dad thinks about me. I've been trying to make him proud of me since I could walk, it's not going to change because I'm 30 and getting married. He's not the only one who voiced their displeasure about the big wedding I was planning -- my fiance and I both come from families who believe in financial responsibility.

Yes, we could have a $15k wedding and still financially be fine, but we could also have a less expensive wedding with only people we actually speak to and associate with on a regular basis, and start our life out even more financially stable.

And rationally, I can't go against any advice my dad gives me. He's 60, owns his house, has zero debt, and my parents were both able to retire early.

I think early on I got caught up in the wedding magazines and the television shows, and finally realized that no matter what I do for my wedding, at the end of the day I'm going to get what I really want and that's to by married to the most amazing man I've ever met.

I think everyone needs to have the wedding that makes them most comfortable and happy. Would a huge wedding make me happy - yes, would a smaller wedding make me happy - yes. I'd be happy going to Vegas tomorrow and getting married too.

I'm just looking to see if heavy apps over dinner time is suitable in lieu of a full meal. I know that I could probably feed the 50 people a full dinner buffet for cheaper, but the venue we're now using, which is gorgeous and closer to home than my original venue, does not accomodate serving a full meal. There isn't room to sit out 10 tables and chairs.

Louisa1000 · December 2011

Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it, and I fully support your decision! I love the idea of heavy apps, and it's what I'm planning as well over the dinner hour. I realize it won't be cheaper too, but it's the kind of vibe I want at the party. So i say go for it! Everyone is constantly telling us how we should do our weddings, be it magazines, relatives, or the movies. The trick isn't so much about ignoring all those influences merely because they come from outside ourselves, but in choosing which are worth listening to, and it sounds like you've done just that. Good luck!

Ljacks87 · December 2011

I think it sounds like enough food. As a guest, if you indicate "Cocktails and heavy hor dourves to follow", on the invitation I would make sure to eat a substantial late lunch to make sure I'm not starving my the time the reception rolls around.

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