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E Party Invites

bellasmomma716bellasmomma716
10 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
Who exactly do you invite to the engagement party? I know it's the wedding party (or at least those that can - some of mine are across the country) and like the immediate families so the in laws can meet but is there anyone else I should be inviting? I was thinking of the grandparents on both sides and maybe my aunt and uncle (my only other relatives in town aside from immediate)? But if I do that, I would think I should invite his aunts and uncles and he has a HUGE family so our engagement party would be almost as big as our ceremony...
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Re: E Party Invites

  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited August 2012
    You shouldn't be hosting your own engagement party. They aren't required, so if no one offers to host it for you, you don't have one. Leave the guest list up to whoever is hosting if that's the case and someone else is hosting it for you.

    ETA: If someone hosts for you, they may ask your input on guest list, but you should work within the number of people they can accommodate. if someone hosts it for you, I think inviting immediate family on both sides, WP members and SOs, and maybe close friends is fine.


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  • walgrrlwalgrrl member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think for an engagement party, it's best to keep it small and intimate.  This is especially true if you don't have a wedding guest list finalized yet, since everyone invited to the engagement party must be invited to the wedding.  Also, as Summer2011Bride mentioned, it's probably a good idea to ask the host of the party how many people you can invite.

    For our engagement party, my parents hosted it and my mom told me I could invite up to 30 people total.  We only invited our immediate family members, our wedding party, and our closest friends.  Basically, we only invited the people who would definitely be on our guest list for the wedding, since at that point, we hadn't yet made any decisions about the size of our wedding.  If we would have invited extended family, it would have been way too many people.  We ended up inviting 27.  23 RSVPed yes.  Only 19 showed up.  Everyone had a great time though!

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  • bellasmomma716bellasmomma716
    10 Comments
    edited August 2012
    OK so I have to disagree with you on the hosting and from what I've read on different etiquette sites, as long as it's not a "gift grab" party, it's not really a faux pas to host it yourself. I clearly believe showers and bachelorette parties be hosted by someone else since they often involve gifts but I think as far as the bride's parents hosting the engagement party (like they traditionally did) it's fading with the same concept of the bride's parents pay for this and the groom's parents pay for that, etc.

    Anyways, iit's going to be held at my parents' house but my mother is not into planning  so she asked me to do most of the planning and they will "host" it. Our parents have never met, so this is really an "everybody meet everybody" party. I just wasn't sure who should be the everybodys. I'm leaning towards the WP and their SOs and immediate family on both sides and the grandparents. That will keep it fairly initimate to about 30 people invited and I'm guessing like under 25 to actually come. Smile
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_e-party-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:17291f31-183a-4c19-8c21-07a6f0263d89Post:d18b3324-b3e0-4eee-84e7-4b5b75f86f8a">Re: E Party Invites</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>OK so I have to disagree with you on the hosting and from what I've read on different etiquette sites, as long as it's not a "gift grab" party, it's not really a faux pas to host it yourself. </strong>I clearly believe showers and bachelorette parties be hosted by someone else since they often involve gifts but I think as far as the bride's parents hosting the engagement party (like they traditionally did) it's fading with the same concept of the bride's parents pay for this and the groom's parents pay for that, etc. Anyways, iit's going to be held at my parents' house but my mother is not into planning  so she asked me to do most of the planning and they will "host" it. Our parents have never met, so this is really an "everybody meet everybody" party. I just wasn't sure who should be the everybodys. I'm leaning towards the WP and their SOs and immediate family on both sides and the grandparents. That will keep it fairly initimate to about 30 people invited and I'm guessing like under 25 to actually come.
    Posted by bellasmomma716[/QUOTE]
    Incorrect.  Does not matter if it's a gift giving event, it's rude to host a party in your own honor.

    On the other hand, if your parents are truly hosting the engagement party and you're just helping organize it, I would consider that to be fine.  Be sure that the invitations go out from your parents, and the RSVP is to your parents.



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  • cmkkcmkk member
    10 Comments
    Well a wedding reception is a party in your own honor and it's perfectly acceptable to host it yourselves now. I really think with eparties etiquette is in a state of flux. I wouldn't host one with formal invites yourself but if it's just for friends evite kind of thing I and plenty of other people think its fine.
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