family or no family

nlanca01 · February 2013

my FI are planning a small ceremony. At first we planed on just going to the court house with our parents, siblings/spouses/kids and grandparents and then we would have a big reception for everyone else immediately after.

Now I'm pregnant and we want to get married before the baby comes, and we are working on buying a house and can't afford a big reception right now. so we plan on having a party at a later date possibly on our 1yr anniversary. But since we aren't having a reception right away to celebrate with people who won't be invited to the ceremony, I'm worried about offending our family members for not including them on our big day.

Oh and the family members I am referring to are aunts uncles and first cousins. We both come from a big family so this could easily be 100 people.

Has anyone run into this problem.

Jen4948 · February 2013

I wouldn't worry about offending them if you're planning to invite them to a big first anniversary celebration later.

I'd just tell them if anyone brings it up, "Unfortunately, circumstances made it necessary for us to get married now without a big party. However, we look forward to celebrating our first anniversary with you."

monkeysip · February 2013

Seriously, you got other stuff to worry about. You got a baby coming, and a new house eventually. Just politely tell them you have to have a private ceremony. They'll understand and be fine.

You could always still have a small celebration at your house or restaurant with your immediate family. Only those who you can afford to host, of course. Either way, have a lovely wedding!

mlg78 · February 2013

A LOT of people who are unexpectedly pregnant before a wedding have a courthouse ceremony that is small and intimate. I'm sure they'll understand.

The other option is to just do like a cake/punch reception and keep it very minimal afterwards. It would be very inexpensive.

nlanca01 · February 2013

thanks for all the input. we have decided on just having our IMMEDIATE family. it will be our parents, grandparents, and siblings and their spouse/significat other and children. Even then we end up with 25 people!

The ceremony is going to be held at a little historical chapel in our area. The "donation" price is $40, which goes right back to the historical society. Then we are going to a local restaurant for a nice dinner afterwards.

We also plan on sending out a wedding day picture to the rest of the family members with some sort of note explaining our circumstances and it will also act as a save the date for our anniversary party.

Jen4948 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_family-or-no-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:858e0f9c-2b93-4e33-af6b-6a3785d21b1ePost:51f84ad9-3776-48e9-b133-6285029e434e">Re: family or no family</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for all the input. we have decided on just having our IMMEDIATE family. it will be our parents, grandparents, and siblings and their spouse/significat other and children. Even then we end up with 25 people! The ceremony is going to be held at a little historical chapel in our area. The "donation" price is $40, which goes right back to the historical society. Then we are going to a local restaurant for a nice dinner afterwards. <strong> We also plan on sending out a wedding day picture to the rest of the family members with some sort of note explaining our circumstances and it will also act as a save the date for our anniversary party. </strong>
Posted by nlanca01[/QUOTE]

I think your note should just announce that you are married as of the date of the ceremony at the historical chapel. Don't explain the circumstances behind the decision to do that.

family or no family

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