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Friends getting ready with me day of, but are not my bridesmaids

goodtobekinggoodtobeking member
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in Moms and Maids
I come from a small family, no sisters, the next closest thing are teammates and college friends, and I have accumulated a lot of those! :)

For my Las Vegas wedding in June I am having my brother as my Man of Honor and my longtime friend as Maid of Honor... there is enough honor to go around right?

Honestly the rest of my girlfriends I would have asked to be in the wedding are spread across other states (Wisconsin, Illinois, and several in Florida)... they are already going to be forking out $ for flight and hotel to even attend the big day... I dont want to throw on added costs of dresses and such on them with the added difficulty of the distance between us all and getting things to match...

I would however, like to extend a couple invites to a few of them to join be and my MaidOH (ManOH will be with boys) in getting ready.  I truly want them helping and celebrating with me... is it wrong that I dont give them a title and ugly dress?
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Re: Friends getting ready with me day of, but are not my bridesmaids

  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You certainly do not have to ask them, but maybe you should reconsider. Asking is not a subpoena.  They can say no for whatever reason, finanicial or otherwise. You can also make the dress buying experience easy by choosing a store like David's Bridal or Alfred Angelo, which are basically nation wide, but simply ask them about their budgets and go with the lowest. You can choose a color and length, then let them pick their own style. This is VERY popular right now. Matchy matchy BMs are actually out. Or you could say wear a black dress (black is basically always black), which most of them probably already own. 

    Distance doesn't have to be an issue with BMs. They only have to show up. It may make things harder for them to throw you a shower if they want to, but they are not obligated to do so. All that they must do as BMs is show up in the dress agreed upon.

    However, if you decide you don't want to ask, which is totally fine, I do not think it would be rude or weird at all to ask them to join you as you get ready.  
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  • lissa12lissa12
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i have a couple of friends who will be part of the "getting ready" process even though they are not in the BP and they are excited about the fact that they get the perks without the cost or drama.  I think you "honor guard" is awesome. I'm doing something very similar.  really I think if your relationship with these women is open they will be totally honored to share special moments with you.  Enjoy your moment!
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  • AiobheannAiobheann member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had some gals (and guys) getting ready with me the day of that weren't in the wedding. Noone was offended and we had a lot of fun. My florist and one of dearest friends date were both there and male. Granted my florist is gay, but still there. We are pretty open like that though. I think its fine.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you can do either. I see nothing wrong with asking them to come hang out/get ready with you the day of.

    But I also think you can still ask them to be in your WP if that's what you really want. Like PP's said, matching attire is not required. Just have them wear a nice dress they already own. Have them stand up there with you. It sounds like this is truly what you want, so I'd go ahead and ask. They'd wear a dress to your wedding anyhow, most likely. So they can wear that same dress and be in the WP and stand up next to you.


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