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South Asian Weddings

2 weddings. ugh

So, as most of you know, I'm orginally from California and FI is from NY. Well, considering the two states are both 3000 miles apart from each other, we're thinking about having two weddings. I know, it screams "chaos" and "expensive". Trust me, I hear ya. But after thinking and talking about it, it only makes sense to have two weddings. We both know that everyone won't be able to make it whether it be in CA or NY. So, we're thinking a catholic California wedding for everyone there (my family, friends, etc) and then a hindu NY wedding for his family and etc. That way guests who can't travel, will get to celebrate with us. Sounds crazy, huh? What are your thoughts, ladies? Think it'll work?
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Re: 2 weddings. ugh

  • Don't do it LOL!!!

    Okay, it's not an absolute no, but if I had a choice looking back I'd say avoid it.

    The conditions under which I would do it (and this was our case) is that you have immediate family that can't come and/or it's super important to each family to have a religious ceremony.

    Our situation was:  MIL really wanted a Hindu ceremony and DH usually visits India every other year and thus would take me as soon as we got married anyway.  We could not afford to go to India and bring my ILs here for the wedding here.  On the other hand, my family would kill me if we didn't have a wedding here.

    In addition, my ILs somehow felt obligated to accommodate every relative and acquaintance they have by having receptions in three cities.

    Here's the reality:

    1.  It's very expensive.  One wedding is very expensive.  A second is outrageous.  Even in India.

    2.  It's exhausting.  I was tired at the first wedding.  Each subsequent event was more tiring.  I didn't feel happy or excited anymore, just relieved when it ended.  And I didn't have to do any work on the Indian weddings.

    3.  Why the H can't people travel?  I know, some people are elderly, infirm, just had a baby, or recently laid off and really can't, but honestly both DH and I have some cousins who are just plain lazy.  My ILs had 2 receptions in towns which are a 3 hour train ride apart to accommodate guests.  If they really wanted to come I think they could live through a 3 hour trip!

    4.  Who are the people who can't travel?  A lot of my friends couldn't come to my wedding (for some reason there was a baby epidemic) and I have a lot of friends OOT.  While I was sad that they couldn't come, I realized that some people won't and you can't accommodate everyone's needs.  It's different if your parents can't come.

    My suggestion is to have both ceremonies and one reception in the same place (maybe over two days).  If your FILs have a priest they need you to use, you could have a ceremony but no reception in NY.

  • I am planning a Catholic and Hindu ceremony as well. I am in Canada on the West coast and most of his Catholic family are from the States East coast.  We decided best to do it in Canada where we will have both the Catholic ceremony followed by the Hindu ceremony and reception.  Most of his side will be travelling unfortunately...they are really looking forward to the Hindu wedding ceremony!  It is still expensive for his side to travel!  But we are hoping all goes well! Good luck to you!
  • I think you should do both. You guys have a plan and everything starting to work out. Plus with it being in two seperate months I think it would be easier to handle.

    It will be stressful, but it's all really important to have everyone you love there. That also being said, just because people say they won't come doesn't mean they mean it. When I was planning my first wedding, my family got really mad at me for even thinking about going to India saying, no one would be able to make it. My cousin got married a couple years later to a guy from India and all but one family flew out for it. Trust me they love you and if you want to do one they will show up!
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