"Giving Away" wording

Re: "Giving Away" wording

• amandaorgan

  

  September 2012

  Ugh I am in the same boat - kind of.  This is my first wedding, but I have the same sort of relationship with my dad.  He will also be there.  I am having my mom give me away and I am sure that will be a little awkward.  I am actually more worried about  the parent/child dances. I secretly don't want to have them at all, but I would never say that bc I know it would hurt FMIL. I will not have a ffather/daughter dance with my dad - this is going to sound blunt, but he doesn't deserve one. 

  
  

  I know it rubs my mom the wrong way a little that he even gets to come and kind of get the glory of being the father of the bride. My mom virtually raised me on my own and is basically financing the wedding, so I want to make her as comfortable as possible.

  
  

  To give you some advice, I don't really think you need to worry about it. Officiant can simply just say "please be seated" and begin the ceremony. I don't think they usually say something about the person giving you (or not in your case) away, but I can't seem to remember?

  

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• xxjen015

  

  September 2012

  Our officiant isn't asking who gives me away. She is going to acknowledge our parents a different way though

  
  

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• LDubHawksFan member

  

  September 2012

  He doesn't have to say anything.  My pastor asked me that too, and said if I don't want that wording, we can just have a motion where my dad kisses me goodbye and places my hand into FI's.  I liked it because it's subtle, but very moving to me.  Plus my parents aren't together, so it doesn't make sense to have my mom come up to say "We do"

  
  

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• [Deleted User]

  

  September 2012

  Well, my Dad is a judge, so he will be walking me down the aisle and then marrying us, so we are going to skip that part!

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• ericaandtom2012 member

  

  September 2012

  If no one is escorting you down the aisle, I think once you reach the end, have your officiant just say "please be seated".  

  
  

  My father is escorting me down the aisle, but I am not going to use the "who gives/presents this woman..." because I'm not a fan of the implication behind it (JMO, I dont' care if you use it for you).  Dad and I will cheek kiss/hug, him and FI will shake hands, and pastor will say please be seated.

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• mmmendi

  

  September 2012

  When I was googling ceremony ideas, it seems like I saw a few options if you felt the need to still say something. I don't remember any off the top of my head, but you might search and see what you come up with

  ~~Mendi~~ ...Everyone has their price; mine's chocolate

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• achiduck member

  

  September 2012

  Can you ask the officiant to just skip right over that part?

  
  

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• NRod70

  

  September 2012

  My brother is escorting me.  I wanted to walk down the aisle myself but my pastor convinced me that walking alone means you have no family, but I do.  My brother will not be ''giving me away'.  Hell, I'm 42 years old, I have a daughter in college...I gave myself away many, many years ago!  lol.

  
  

  Anyway, he'll escort me, but no words will be exchanged there.  You could skip right over that part.  

  

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• SomethingBeautiful08 member

  

  September 2012

  I vote for skipping that part and just asking the pastor to seat everyone.  I've seen it where in 2nd marriages that the kids "give" their mom away, but otherwise, no one will probably notice and if they do it is a fairly neutral option. 

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• nitecheese

  

  September 2012

  My dad and my step-dad are "giving me away". The question asked in our ceremony is, "Who presents...yadda yadda".  MY step-dad and dad will say, "For all of her family, we do."  You could do something like have your mom say, "For her family, I do", that way it skirts some of the potential awkwardness?
  
  Whatever you choose to do will be lovely!  Good luck!

  

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• geieran

  

  September 2012 edited September 2012

  I do feel a bit like you do because my mom pretty much raised me (my parents are still married - my dad just didn't take much part), but she knows how I feel. I don't feel like my wedding is the place for me to make a statement. Plus I know that my dad regrets not being more active in our upbringing. 

  
  

  I'm having the pastor say "Who has prepared this woman for marriage?" and my dad will say "Her mother and I." I liked this because it honors my mother and my dad is my dad and as such I feel that I should honor him. And I know that he loves me - he's just different and doesn't think like other people. As I said before, too, I know that he regrets not being there more, which makes a difference. 

  
  

  I also liked another poster's advice on just being a bit more subtle where maybe he gives you a kiss on the cheek or something. I don't know your exact situation so I thought that might be good advice, too.
  

  
  

  
  

  

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