Seeing the bride before...

casserole27 · March 2012

We may have already had this question but it's been a topic that keeps coming up around my house. Are you letting your FI see your dress or you in it before the wedding?

SpringBride2012 · March 2012

I know a lot more brides now a days are having their "first look" before the ceremony but I am sticking with tradition and not letting FI see my dress or me in it until I walk down the aisle. What about you?

AmandaSC1988 · March 2012

FI and I are doing the First Look, mainly because our wedding is at 7pm and we are having a mass and I want daylight photos. Haha. But, we would rather have that special moment together...It will still be special when I come down the aisle, but it will be two seperate moments....not jammed into one.

But, I'm not going to lie... I'm still on the fence

em01092 · March 2012

I didn't vote, because while we are not doing a first look, I don't judge people who do, nor do I think it's bad luck. It's just a preference we had. Actually FI didn't care. He left it up to me, like he did with 90% of WR things haha.

So yeah, I think if, like for Amanda's case, it works better to do a FL because of timing/lighting, then go for it! Photogs can make it super special and romantic. Plus you get to have your "moment" as just the two of you (well maybe plus the photog) rather than in front of 50-200 people. It has it's pros for sure. It's just not what I saw myself doing.

leffing · March 2012

So... I'm actually for a first look, but my fiance is completely against it. I had a professor tell me that he met his wife in the church before the ceremony - completely empty. He said he'll never forget that moment seeing her standing there. I just think that first look is such a special moment, it should just be shared between us. I don't want to worry about walking down the aisle in front of eveyone (honestly, I'm hoping I don't pass out because I have terrible stage fright), and being able to get the photos out of the way before the wedding is an extra bonus that will allow us to enjoy cocktail hour and not worry about getting to the reception on time. BUT my fiance is a true sentimentalist and is not wanting to see me until I walk, so I am going to respect his wishes.

The ironic thing is that his brother is getting married in November and while he is for a first look, his fiance is completely against it. I guess opposites attract.

mmy101 · March 2012

I don't think it is bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony, but I do think it is uber-romantic! I understand timing restraints and first look photos are pretty cool, but I know the only thing that will get me down the aisle is looking at the FI's face!

rlavach · March 2012

Well, I didn't vote because I don't agree with any of the options. My FI won't be seeing my dress beforehand, but not because of superstition. I just want the very first time he sees me in my dress to be the moment I walk down the aisle. I want to take his breath away

cdbishop · March 2012

I did vote, No because we aren't doing a first look, but I don't think it is bad luck. I was on the fence about it but FI is against it, he wants the first time he sees me to be when I walk down the aisle.

I am thinking of doing a picture of us 'together' but not seeing each other before the ceremony. Kind of a door or wall between us but we can reach out and touch hands and talk to each other and both be in a picture.

I can understand both ways and for someone like Amanda with pictures, I would do a first look to get the pictures done in daylight as well.

c_meahan · March 2012

We are doing a first look. We were both pretty hysterical when he proposed and I really don't want to be bawling my eyes out trying to say my vows. It will really calm me down if I can see him before. I'll still cry, just not be a blubbering mess. Plus we wanted to be able to attend the cocktail hour and doing our pictures before allows us to do that.

em01092 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_seeing-the-bride-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:61135876-0d10-4454-a1d6-0fb356b8881bPost:aad41962-bedd-43e9-92c9-34f8aa42b7d6">Re: Seeing the bride before...</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I didn't vote because I don't agree with any of the options. My FI won't be seeing my dress beforehand, but not because of superstition. I just want the very first time he sees me in my dress to be the moment I walk down the aisle. I want to take his breath away :)
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

<div>This, exactly. Also for our nerves, we're going to breakfast that morning. He just won't see me in my dress until I'm walking down the aisle. </div>

clcranda · March 2012

We are both very traditional. He's not seeing me, not because if supersition, but because of tradition.

justad0reme · March 2012

I didnt vote because I did wanted to do a first look but Fi wanted to see me for the first time in my dress walking down the aisle...so I'm not against it.

@Carrie - I think that's a great idea!

AmandaSC1988 · March 2012

You know, I am a curious person, always wondering why we do traditions. I love traditions don't get me wrong, but i thought some of you might find humor in it.

Not seeing the bride before the wedding comes from the practice of mail order brides or arrainged marriages. The brides family, wanting to marry off the daughters, would arrainge a marriage and keep the bride in hiding so the groom wouldn't refuse to marry her. When the Bride got to the alter the Father would then lift up the veil and would be able to see his bride...but at that point there was no backing out.

There are some really off the wall traditions... like carrying the bride across the threshold comes from the days of marriage by capture. The groom would capture the bride and she would go unwilling into his chambers...and would have to carry her across.

Funny stuff. Haha.

casserole27 · March 2012

Haha I put the bad luck thing on there as kind of a joke cuz that's the traditional saying. :P I am not letting my FI see until the wedding either I just want that wow moment that you always see the bride and groom have in movies when they look at each other for the first time. A lot of my friends have gotten bride/groom pictures taken before the wedding instead of just bridals... kinda different in my opinion. But to each their own. (:

blgrout · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_seeing-the-bride-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:61135876-0d10-4454-a1d6-0fb356b8881bPost:e653d4b0-1dfd-44dd-87ab-7f43e98a6f62">Re: Seeing the bride before...</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing a first look. We were both pretty hysterical when he proposed and I really don't want to be bawling my eyes out trying to say my vows. It will really calm me down if I can see him before. I'll still cry, just not be a blubbering mess. Plus we wanted to be able to attend the cocktail hour and doing our pictures before allows us to do that.
Posted by c_meahan@hotmail.com[/QUOTE]

I pretty much agree with all of this. I didn't vote in your poll because he will not be seeing my dress at all until our first look. We just don't have time to do pictures after our ceremony, and for us it's the right thing to do a first look. That being said, he won't know what i look like in my dress until about 2 hours before the ceremony, and it will be a very private moment between just the 2 of us (and a photographer), so I know it will be just as special as if he didn't see me until I walked down the aisle. But he has no idea what my dress looks like, and I'm keeping that a big secret from him until the big day, because I want to surprise him.

erc08ohv12 · March 2012

I have had my wedding dress hiding in our closet for almost a year, he hasn't been allowed in that closet, if he needs anything I get it lol so no he's not going to see me in my dress before the wedding. I do plan on seeing him before the wedding just not in my dress. It's not out of superstition, I just want to surprise him :

pattib5 · March 2012

He won't see my dress until I'm in it for our first look. Though I was showing him some pics on my iPhone a few weeks ago and accidentally scrolled to a pic of me in the dress! Eep! I swiped past it quickly, so I don't think he saw much. At least I hope not!

justad0reme · March 2012

@pattib - I wouldn't worry about that. I showed a pic of my dress to fi right when I got it which was a couple of months ago and last month he goes...yea so your dress is fitted right? uhhmm no i have a ball gown!! lol

pattib5 · March 2012

LOL Jen, you're right. Most guys have no eye or memory for that kind of thing.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

Kind of, but kind of not. I refuse to let him see it, but we are taking our family pictures an hour before the ceremony.

Close enough, lol.

hedgehogmadhatter · March 2012

Well we aren't seeing each other until the BIG moment. However I made a big mistake. I am so frazzled gettiing ready for this wedding. I work long hours and my fiance had a day off during the week so I had him drop my dress off to be steamed/pressed. It wasn't until he called me to tell me the cleaner had found a tiny spot that I realized..I JUST GAVE MY DRESS TO THE GROOM AND THE CLEANER PULLED IT OUT AND SHOWED IT TO HIM. DUH! What the hell was I thinking..oh well. Cest la vie.

Seeing the bride before...

Re: Seeing the bride before...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards