Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Two wedding ceremonies

My fiance and I got engaged last June and started planning to have our wedding in central Oregon about three hours away from where we live. At the time our parents and grandparents were doing fine, but because of health issues on both sides of the family and questions of traveling for our older family members, we are thinking of having a private ceremony at the home of our grandpa for just the immediate family members and keeping our ceremony in central Oregon, because all our 100 or so guests have already planned and we can't change the venue because we have all the deposits and arrangements made.
Question is we want to have our big wedding be the official one, but my mom bought me my beautiful expensive dress and she can't wait to see me in that dress (She has a health issue which may prevent her from traveling) so what do we do? Do we have our first ceremony be our friends one, and do a vow renewal with family so I can wear my dress for my mom or should we plan for a family ceremony first and wear a simple dress that I can use as my rehearsal dress? We were planning on going on our honeymoon immediately afterwards, so we wouldn't be able to have our family ceremony until we got back and I'm worried if we did that our family members who couldn't attend the first wedding might not be too happy about waiting... Any thoughts?

Re: Two wedding ceremonies

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_two-wedding-ceremonies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b04df1b-781b-45e7-bed6-34e03066162fPost:fb9e6dfb-83a5-4ba5-a678-262ed014420f">Two wedding ceremonies</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I got engaged last June and started planning to have our wedding in central Oregon about three hours away from where we live. At the time our parents and grandparents were doing fine, but because of health issues on both sides of the family and questions of traveling for our older family members, we are thinking of having a private ceremony at the home of our grandpa for just the immediate family members and keeping our ceremony in central Oregon, because all our 100 or so guests have already planned and we can't change the venue because we have all the deposits and arrangements made. Question is<strong> we want to have our big wedding be the official one</strong>, but my mom bought me my beautiful expensive dress and she can't wait to see me in that dress (She has a health issue which may prevent her from traveling) so what do we do? Do we<strong> have our first ceremony be our friends one, and do a vow renewal with family so I can wear my dress for my mom</strong> or should we plan for a family ceremony first and wear a simple dress that I can use as my rehearsal dress? We were planning on going on our honeymoon immediately afterwards, so we wouldn't be able to have our family ceremony until we got back and I'm worried if we did that our family members who couldn't attend the first wedding might not be too happy about waiting... Any thoughts?
    Posted by May Tsai[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I'm addressing the bold: yes, and yes. You want the big ceremony to be "official" so do it- and you want to appease mom with the dress, so do it during your small family ceremony. It doesn't really matter which you do first- it's <em>your</em> wedding so you will choose which is the day you actually sign the wedding liscence. When you go on your honeymoom will directly depend on which cermony you have first and which second- go after your second ceremony. That's what I would do in your situation. 

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  • I'm doing something simalar to what you are asking. We live in CO and our families are in MA and PA we are getting married in Jamacia so a week later having a cememony and reception in MA to include our friends and family who can't make it to Jamacia do to $ issues which we understand.  Any other questions just ask happy to help
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_two-wedding-ceremonies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b04df1b-781b-45e7-bed6-34e03066162fPost:d221eac0-4098-494e-951c-667cd1734ce1">Re: Two wedding ceremonies</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm doing something simalar to what you are asking. We live in CO and our families are in MA and PA we are getting married in Jamacia so a week later having a cememony and reception in MA to include our friends and family who can't make it to Jamacia do to $ issues which we understand.  Any other questions just ask happy to help
    Posted by Bjlong[/QUOTE]

    <div>I simply don't understand this. If you want friends and family to be there, why do the destination wedding they can't afford to attend and then turn around and have a do-over a week later?</div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2013
    May Tsai has a great idea to have the big to do first and then have a vow renewal with immediate family. Bjlong, please rethink your destination wedding. You are leaving out your dearest. There will be no wedding to have after your DW as you will be already married. Bad idea, unless you don't want bridesmaids, big poofy dress ever.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_two-wedding-ceremonies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b04df1b-781b-45e7-bed6-34e03066162fPost:81a21f42-c2e9-4e4d-a335-f2e4ca0974b9">Re: Two wedding ceremonies</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Two wedding ceremonies : I'm addressing the bold: yes, and yes. You want the big ceremony to be "official" so do it- and you want to appease mom with the dress, so do it during your small family ceremony. It doesn't really matter which you do first- it's your wedding so you will choose which is the day you actually sign the wedding liscence. When you go on your honeymoom will directly depend on which cermony you have first and which second- go after your second ceremony. That's what I would do in your situation. 
    Posted by Amsdragonfly[/QUOTE]



    Thanks! We gave it some more thought and we like the idea of having the family ceremony as a vow renewal a week after our first big ceremony. That gives us some time to have a little "private" time together and then we can also use some of the decor elements at our family event. When we planned this wedding, we didn't expect all the family emergencies and the unfortunate passing of our grandma, so this will allow our family to experience our wedding without being afraid of traveling. We also decided to take our honeymoon after the second ceremony... It will be a week long wedding event! ;-)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_two-wedding-ceremonies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:1b04df1b-781b-45e7-bed6-34e03066162fPost:1ba9c5c1-ca01-44ca-be65-bdf2c27fb5e8">Re: Two wedding ceremonies</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Two wedding ceremonies :

    Thanks! We gave it some more thought and we like the idea of having the family ceremony as a vow renewal a week after our first big ceremony. That gives us some time to have a little "private" time together and then we can also use some of the decor elements at our family event. When we planned this wedding, we didn't expect all the family emergencies and the unfortunate passing of our grandma, so this will allow our family to experience our wedding without being afraid of traveling. We also decided to take our honeymoon after the second ceremony... It will be a week long wedding event! ;-)
    Posted by May Tsai[/QUOTE]

    Sounds like fun! Have a wonderful time.
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