T&P needed plus a little frustration (sorta vent)

vineyard12 · February 2012

My FMIL has been ill for several months now and her doctors can't figure out what is wrong with her. I wasn't privy to her health until this past Thanksgiving when she passed out. I had found her sitting in a chair, completely ashen faced and sweating. I asked if she was okay, and of course, she said she was fine. Well, to make a long story short, she nearly passed out and had to lay down for awhile. Sh refused to go to the hospital, saying she has been through this before, etc. Of course, this put everyone in a panic.

She has seen 7 doctors and refuses to see a doctor in Boston. Last night she tells FI that the night before she got up to get a drink of water and fell head first between the fridge and the stove! Her husband, luckily found her. Did they go to the doctor? No. These two are Portugese old country and don't like to be taken out of their element. It's frustrating to say the least.

We are afraid that something will happen between now and May, or something will happen while we are on an island for the wedding, or even on the ferry ride over. She gets short of breath and dizzy, and partially looses eyesight. FI and I don't get it. She has seen 7 doctors and no one can figure it out. It's also the refusal to go to a major medical center in Boston where she could get the care she needs. There are translators there!

I care about my FMIL and would very much like to see her live to see our wedding and grandchildren. Unfortunatly, we feel there isn't much we can do. Neither will listen and take advice.

Thanks for letting me vent.....just need some thoughts and prayers that a doctor will figure this out...

dori851 · February 2012

Oh wow, how scary! Definitely sending T&Ps your way. I hope she comes around & sees a doctor soon! ((hugs))

norweigan · February 2012

My dad did this. Is a big German Norweigan guy who grew up on a farm and has always been an athlete, but has also had a slew of health problems the last few years (diabetes, cancer (needed a liver transplant), and heart disease (needed quadrupel heart surgery). His diabetes was getting the best of him, and he was having episodes, but would refuse to get this box implanted that would regulate his blood sugar for him. It took one major episode and me and my sister both begging him to get the box before he finally did it.

You should have your FI beg her to go to the doctor. It might take awhile, but I think seeing how her decision not to go to the hospital is effecting her children might change her mind alittle bit?

gpapale1 · February 2012

My grandmother is the same way. She was born in Sicily and didn't come to the US until after she already had 3 children (including my dad), and she has a deep fear of going to the hospital. Needless to say, she had to have a MAJOR health scare...i.e. she passed out and got rushed to the hospital...before she would do anything about her health. She had to have a quadruple (? maybe triple? I can't remember) bypass surgery and she also has diabetes that she refused to take shots for. I think your FI just needs to keep pestering her until she goes...even if she just goes to shut him up.

vineyard12 · February 2012

The whole family has been after her to go to a big hospital. FI is an only child, but even so, she won't listen. I'm afraid she'll wait until it's too late. FI doesn't get along all that great with them, mostly because they are so damned stubborn and won't listen. She also has diabetes and who knows what else. It's so frustrating. The next time he talks to her, I might butt in, even if she doesn't speak English very well. She can speak enough to undersatnd " go to Boston!" We're afraid she'll wait until it's too late....