Fiance doesn't want a photographer

jeswuzhere · February 2012

My fiance doesn't want to get a wedding photographer -- he just wants the guests to take photos with their camera phones and email them to us. He says that it's a ridiculous thing to spend money on ("our best pictures from vacations are ones we took ourselves") and it is weird to have someone we don't know "wandering around and getting in the way." Its not that I want super traditional posed photos anyway, but I would like to know that we have at least one or two decent, non-blury shots that we can look at on our 50th anniversary... I suggested just having someone at the ceremony but not the reception, but he said he would only agree if they "stayed outside the tent" -- which bascaly means we'd have pictures of the tent and not us! Any suggestions for how to deal with this?

Cony&Ben · February 2012

Can you see if he will compromise and have photographers allowed inside the tent but only up to a certain distance from the two of you?

For what it's worth, neither Ben nor I remember even seeing our photographers during our ceremony. I know they were around and even came up to the altar to take pictures because they were in some shots guests took.

atomicphoto · February 2012

If you hire a good photographer they will be like a fly on the wall and you will never know they are present. A photojournalistic photographer would probably we the way to go since they document the day as is, and you can choose to bypass the posed photos. You need to express to your fiance how truly important this is to you. Also, tell him that cell phone pictures will make crappy prints. Do you really want your only wedding photos to be tiny cell phone pictures on a computer?

katehar01 · February 2012

Professional photographers know how to stay out of the way - it's part of their job. Obviously you know this, but I'm sure it's frustrating that your fiance doesn't see it that way. I don't have any great advice, but my fiance was also somewhat against photography (mostly for cost reasons), and we just worked it out by me expressing that it is extremely important to me to have professional photos of my wedding day to look back on. It helped that I was willing to compromise what we spent in other areas and that this was one of my only sticking points.

I think if you explain to him that it's important to you, his future wife, he should be willing to compromise by having the photog at the ceremony and not the reception. You guys should be able to get that relatively affordably, since it's a short amt of time.

toothpastechica · February 2012

I would look around for smaller packages, Most photographers offer 3 hour and 6 hour packages so they are not 'wandering around the whole day'. For what it is worth a good photographer will be non-intrustive, not block shots and you honestly won't really know they are there. One option would be to get 3 hours, do some pictures of just you and your groom and with the bridal party (and possibly parents) before the wedding, have them stay for just the ceremony and then let guests take pictures at the reception. I don't know about you but I would be devestated if there were no romantic wedding pictures of me and my FI, and the only ones we had were camera phone pictures of vows. I didnt get all dressed up and spend hundreds of dollars for a blurry picture from far away lookin stiff!!! Also look for deals, most photographers will offer specials if you book a package with them and give you a free engagment session, or free prints or soemthing, makes it a little bit more worth the money. Also you dont have to get the top photographer, theres many photographers out there who are looking for more experience so have really low pricing.

CherandAl · February 2012

Get a photographer YOU like and with a package that includes an engagement session. Try to find one who doesn't charge an outrageous amount for the deposit. Then do the engagement session relatively soon- if after he sees the engagement pictures, he still doesn't want the photographer there then compromise and have a friend do it or someone there just for a few hours. OR you could have that original package just be for a few hours and if he approves after the engagement session then just add on hours to your package.
My wedding photographer was recommended to me by someone on the Boston board and she said that she never noticed them either. She said they were super nice too and they put up with her completely unphotogenic husband! They have been good so far for me too- and they were really nice when I met them. If he seems willing to try this idea out just PM me for some local recs or ask on the Boston board.

cassienoel022 · February 2012

Try to at least get your fiance to try and meet with photographers. If you meet with the right photographer they will wow him with how important photography is. You can even let him ask questions like why do I need a professional photographer and anything else he is uneasy about.

ElisabethJoanne · February 2012

I like cassie's advice in theory, but it would backfire with my future husband. He prefers wedding-planning take as little of his time as possible, and if he didn't want a photographer, and then had to not only have one, but meet with him... [He also had 0 interest in playing with the registry scanner guns.]

So just consider the personalities involved, of course.

AnnRogers · February 2012

I'm a photographer, and I've been told having a good wedding photographer is one of the most important aspects to your wedding.

You spend a fortune on this ONE DAY event...it's worth REMEMBERING every aspect of this very important and expensive day!! Tell him that.

jmichlik · March 2012

I think an important thing to note is that a photographer is like an insurance policy. How can you guarantee that your friends will take pictures, and if they do what if they take pictures you don't like? This is not quite the same but we left disposable cameras on every table and most of the pictures people took with them were terrible! Some were of the sides of people's heads, some were of the wall, it was very strange. Your guests are not there to be your photographer so they will be more in the mindset of just having fun and they may not capture things you would want them to. Also note that you don't know what the lighting is going to be like, and "cheaper" cameras like those on phones are not very forgiving. It happens at my wedding there was a power outage - in the pictures taken by friends on their cameras you can definitely tell the lights are out, but in the photographer's pictures you cannot tell at all. I know this is a rather unusual thing to have happen but you never know. You can't do any of it again, so paying someone to take the pictures to be sure they come out is definitely worth it.

Fiance doesn't want a photographer

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