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NWR: FSIL's wedding in India

SonaliPopSonaliPop member
500 Comments
in South Asian Weddings
My boyfriend's sister (who is younger than both of us) is getting married sometime soon to her boyfriend (who is an Indian citizen) because they have filed paperwork to do so. They are having a registry wedding in England which I will most likely be attending. But, because I am not engaged to her brother yet and we have not real plans to be for the moment, is it best that I opt out of her Hindu ceremony in India? His family wants me to go but we're not engaged...none of their family in India knows about me. Is it best to just stick with one wedding?
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Re: NWR: FSIL's wedding in India

  • raangoliraangoli
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    When is his sister's wedding? I think it's nice that his family want you to go, that alone has to make you feel welcome and accepted!

    Do you think that by the time she will be getting married you might be engaged or that's still some time in the future?

    Also, how would your family feel about you being in India for a wedding in his family? Would they be offended if you didn't visit with them or stay with them when you are there for your boyfriend's sister's wedding? I ask because I know that family relations can get "hairy" and you were kind of worrying about your family and what would they say/think/do if you visited England or other countries on vacation with your boyfriend.

    Sigh, complications!
    ExerciseMilestone
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  • HinajHinaj member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think if both of your parents are fine with, I think you should attend.  If you don't want to let the other relatives know about you and your relationship yet, then don't just attend as a friend.  Depending on when she is getting married, you might be enaged yourself.

    Edit: When I say friend, I meant friend of the bride. 
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  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_nwr-fsils-wedding-india?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:ba768130-3651-43a7-b31d-5e107f3845edPost:4169a2d1-7614-481b-8a19-22219aa3f111">Re: NWR: FSIL's wedding in India</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think if both of your parents are fine with, I think you should attend.  If you don't want to let the other relatives know about you and your relationship yet, then don't just attend as a friend.  Depending on when she is getting married, you might be enaged yourself. Edit: When I say friend, I meant friend of the bride. 
    Posted by Hinaj[/QUOTE]

    I agree :) Just go as a friend of the bride.  When is your FSIL's wedding?  Soon kind of indicates 3 to 6 months from now.  A lot can still happen!

    Best of luck!

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have no relatives in India. My Mom is not okay with it. She said if we were engaged, then fine. If not, then no. I understand her reasoning because it's a family function. If it was a regular vacation, she wouldn't care.
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  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    How far away is this wedding?

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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  • Jeff and DeepthiJeff and Deepthi
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you mother isn't ok with it then you do have to take that into account. We are now starting to have our family members bring girlfriends to functions and they don't like it at all!!! Everyone gets really wierd when it happens. My aunts even got mad that I brought FI to a family function even though we are engaged, but not formally engaged.

    Indian people are very judgemental. Alot could still happen before the wedding, but I'm not sure what you and your FI think. Boys families are a lot more relaxed then girls families normally. I think your mom wouldn't want the gossip of you going over there by yourself with your boyfriend.

    I didn't give you a defined answer I realized.. I don't really know what you should do. Sorry.   
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