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LDS question, II

treelovertreelover
First Comment
in Utah
I've been invited to a wedding luncheon for my 19 year old LDS neighbor girl (yes 19!). They've (the mom really) also invited me to view her exit the temple at 10am (I'd wait outside with her little sisters) this was a verbal invite, the luncheon at 1pm, and the reception at 5pm.

I've lived next to the family for 8 years. While they have always been very nice and helpful neighbors, I've always kind of thought they thought I was a heathen for staying at my boyfriend's house so often! 

Anyway, I also have a fun get together with old friends at Bear Lake that same day. I knew of both ahead of time, but never got final dates until recently and now they collide!

Is it a really big deal to invite the neighbor lady (me) to the wedding luncheon? I understand this is a smaller more intimate deal, and only a few are selected?  I'd go if I had no other obligations (I'm a bit curious too), but I have been looking forward to Bear Lake with my old friends for a while.

Would it be sufficient to just see her exit the temple, then I could also have my Bear Lake lunch BBQ too? Or as an 8 year long neighbor that's watched their kids grow up, I should really do the luncheon?  The reception is out all together however.

Also, outside of Utah, if you are invited to a wedding shower and the wedding you do two different gifts, from what I  remember.  Or the wedding gift is just a card with money.

I couldn't make it to the shower, but I did get her something off her registry and she was able to open it at her shower (I dropped it off early).

What do I give for the wedding day?  What if I just do the temple exit?  A card/money/gift?  Hand it to her when she walks out?

Help!

I just don't want to be a complete flake.
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Re: LDS question, II

  • Tiffani StevensonTiffani Stevenson member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That is a great question. In my experience it does mean a lot more for someone to invite you to the temple and the luncheon. It seems like "everyone" gets an invite to the reception, but only close friends and family are invited to the temple and luncheon. I don't know why this is. You might be a little disappointed for the "coming out of the temple" part, if that is all you attend. Really, that is all it is. The couple comes out of the temple and then whoever is present gathers to take pictures for awhile. "The luncheon" is sometimes similar to a typical reception/wedding dinner, with toasts (non-alcoholic of course) and such so it tends to be more meaningful than the 'temple exit." However, sometimes all it is a luncheon. It really varies with each family. But it is up to you. If you are really concerned, I am sure your neighbor would be open to a conversation that started with, "um, I have never been to an LDS wedding and I was wondering..." As for gifts, if you decide to give a wedding gift, it probably would be best to deliver it the day before or a few days after, rather than just giving it to her as she walks out of the temple. I think you would feel out of place doing that. The luncheon really isn't a time for giving gifts either. Typically you will see that done at the reception or sent the day before or after. Anyway, I am not sure if this helps, and I am just explaining this from my own experience. Good luck!


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  • treelovertreelover
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks!  Of the three events, we only went to the temple exit as we had other plans for the day.  Yes it is rather uneventful, no cheering, no clapping.  Just hugs all around.  Then we went for photos on the otherside of the temple.  Very quick.  They were rotating the brides and company out every 30 minutes.  They were all glad we came and some of them finally got to meet my boyfriend they had heard about so that part was worth it!

    Also, I did give a card with money to the dad to take to the reception. 
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  • nikkic11nikkic11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Good question.  Being raised LDS but no longer practicing, i have been to my fair share of these weddings.  LDS people generally invited the entire neighborhood to the wedding.  If you do not go, you will not be missed.  It may be appropriate to send a card with some money in it with your regrets that you couldn't attend. 
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