First Look??

Amanda667 · June 2011

I'm more than likely just really out of the loop on this, but when did this become a popular thing? Me and the FI are considering it, but I have mixed feelings about it. I know a few of you ladies on here have done it...did you have any regrets about him not getting his first look at the altar, or did you like it??

llc2011 · June 2011

I loved our first look! The thing that may not be true for others, but was true for us was that even with the first look we were still emotional as I walked down the aisle.

First Look

Walking down the aisle

Amanda667 · June 2011

I LOVE those photos, so beautiful! The more I think about it the more I think I like the idea! I'd rather get some of those nerves out of the way.

btweety04 · June 2011

We are going to do it. Not only will it help calm your nerves, but it cuts down on the amount of time spent shooting portraits after the ceremony.

MarieSD · June 2011

We saw each other all day, including while I was getting ready, and we took pictures together before the ceremony. My favorite pictures of the two of us were taken before the ceremony. Afterwards -- we just wanted to get to the reception! (All of the pics of us in my bio were taken before the ceremony, in fact).

I'm glad we didn't wait because there was no momentous moment when I walked down the isle. DH won't admit it, but he was so nervous during the wedding ceremony -- I don't think he saw or remembers a thing from the first half of the ceremony. And I was looking around at everyone in the pews during my walk up there, so I was no better!

Neither of us are emotional -- we knew we wouldn't cry. But, we're huge gigglers, and we had a ball taking the photos together before the ceremony.

And this is one of my favorite candids -- him taking a last look before my hair was finished:

llc2011 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:336b842c-2340-47ed-bda2-8d3d29e7c097">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE]I LOVE those photos, so beautiful! The more I think about it the more I think I like the idea! I'd rather get some of those nerves out of the way. :)
Posted by Amanda667[/QUOTE]

<div>Thank you! I think it helped the nerves, but as others have mentioned it allowed us to knock out so many pictures so that we could get to the cocktail hour. Well we didn't get to the cocktail hour since it was about to rain and we wanted to get some more shots of just the two of us before it did. The rest of the bridal party did get to enjoy the cocktail hour.</div>

courtski2004 · June 2011

We did it, and I don't regret it for a second. I knew that I wanted the photographer to capture his reaction seeing me for the first time that day, and even though we haven't gotten our pics back I will always remember his face. When I entered the church to walk down the aisle, I was so preoccupied with seeing everyone else that I doubt I would have gotten a good look at him had we not done the first look. His reaction was precious. It gave us a chance to just take in the moment, hug, kiss, and talk a little before the whirlwind started.

Amanda667 · June 2011

So true! Well I think I have been swayed into doing it.

Thank you as always ladies!

professorscience · June 2011

During our Engaged Encounter, FI and I learned that it is actually the preferred tradition in the catholic church for the couple to enter together, both because the priest should be the last to enter and because the couple enters the marriage together -- as consenting people, not as a bride given to the groom as an object. We seriously considered doing our processional this way, giving a lot of weight to the fact that it would definitely reduce the nerves (I know I will be a nervous wreck). Had we chosen this processional, we definitely would have opted for a "first look" and pictures before the ceremony.

In the end, however, we both just felt so strongly about seeing each other for the first time as I head down the aisle (plus I couldn't stand to not have my dad escort me), that we decided to go the traditional route. So we will not be doing a first look. And I will probably cry my little eyes out all the way, and hopefully he will too.

It really depends on your preference. I have brought up the idea of doing a first look several times for the sake of convenience, but neither FI nor I wants to lose that sense of anticipation just to save a half hour.

Amanda667 · June 2011

Gotcha. Thats the other side I wanted to hear!

mandaroo7 · June 2011

Definitely agree on preference, it should be what is best for you both! At first, DH did not want to and after much talk it turned out to be best for us. We ended up with great photos of just us! Like Lauren, it was awesome to see him before as well as walking down the aisle. One of my favorite memories is seeing him while walking down the aisle. It was such an amazing feeling and something I'll never forget.

Here are a couple from our first look! (I couldn't get them to just post, probably bc I'm home so here are the links. HA Hope it works.)

[IMG]<a rel="nofollow" href="http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa424/mandaroo77/OurWedding28.jpg">http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa424/mandaroo77/OurWedding28.jpg</a>[/IMG]

[IMG]<a rel="nofollow" href="http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa424/mandaroo77/OurWedding26.jpg">http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa424/mandaroo77/OurWedding26.jpg</a>[/IMG]

meghanttu08 · June 2011

I am old fashioned. I ABSOLUTELY, DO NOT WANT, to see FI until I am walking down the isle. He actually feels the same too. He wants to see me for the first time in my dress with my dad down the isle. That way when I'm walking our eyes are on each other and no one else.

TexanTreasure08 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:8db9291e-3435-4645-86de-ad455884d388">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE]During our Engaged Encounter, FI and I learned that it is actually the preferred tradition in the catholic church for the couple to enter together, both because the priest should be the last to enter and because the couple enters the marriage together -- as consenting people, not as a bride given to the groom as an object. We seriously considered doing our processional this way, giving a lot of weight to the fact that it would definitely reduce the nerves (I know I will be a nervous wreck). Had we chosen this processional, we definitely would have opted for a "first look" and pictures before the ceremony. In the end, however, we both just felt so strongly about seeing each other for the first time as I head down the aisle (plus I couldn't stand to not have my dad escort me), that we decided to go the traditional route. So we will not be doing a first look. And I will probably cry my little eyes out all the way, and hopefully he will too. =) It really depends on your preference. I have brought up the idea of doing a first look several times for the sake of convenience, <strong>but neither FI nor I wants to lose that sense of anticipation just to save a half hour.</strong>
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

I think most people that have done a First Look would disagree and say that you still get that anticipation either way.

shortgirltx · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:8db9291e-3435-4645-86de-ad455884d388">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE]During our Engaged Encounter, FI and I learned that it is actually the preferred tradition in the catholic church <strong>for the couple to enter together, both because the priest should be the last to enter and because the couple enters the marriage together</strong> -- as consenting people, not as a bride given to the groom as an object. I have brought up the idea of doing a first look several times for the sake of convenience, but neither FI nor I wants to lose that sense of anticipation just to save a half hour. Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

It does depend on your preference but in my experience, it saves a whole heck of a lot more than half an hour.

And we did what you are talking about in the bold above but we did have my dad walk me and DH's mom walk him half way, they went off and then we walked the rest of the way together. We got the best of both worlds.

To OP: I don't regret it one single bit.

bigbabyface · June 2011

we wont be doing a first look. but we also wont be having a bridal party...so the time for pictures after the ceremony is shrunk significantly due to this.

I considered a first look but FI has a strong opinion that he doesnt want to see me before i come down the aisle. Since this is one of the first things that he's actually been opinionated on the wedding. I decided to respect it and move on. I think we will be doing a "first touch" though. i doubt it's called that...but i have dubbed it that.
Similar to this:

we can still get a few pictures before hand. but we dont have to see each other

fallbride1109 · June 2011

One more vote for a first look. We decided at the last minute to do one and I don't regret it for a second. It was very important to me to get Ben's reaction and I just don't think I would have gotten it in front of 100 people. (Kudos to Lynn Michelle--she knew how important this was to me!)

I loved our reveal and the stress of the day just melted away. Yet when it was time to go down the aisle, my heart was still pounding. It didn't change anything. It's definitely a personal preference though and what I have found is that most couples are happy with their decision, whichever one they make. That moment is special and treasured no matter when you do it.

MarieSD, I absolutely love that picture!!

caiti2u · June 2011

I guess I'm new to the whole idea of the "first look", so my question would be, when and where do you do them? Do you do them at your ceremony location or somewhere else? and if so how early? Do you do them early enough before guests show up or right before while they are arriving?

I'm getting married in the Catholic church as well, and was a little surprised when I learned that they actually recommend bride and groom walk in together (I've been to a couple in the church and as far as I remember the groom started at the alter). I'm not sure if I would prefer that vs the "traditional" way. But if FI and I did walk in together, I think "first looks" would be a good idea.

sparklingdiamond · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:23515870-9c1d-4f9e-88b4-eceb04064bb7">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm new to the whole idea of the "first look", so my question would be, when and where do you do them? Do you do them at your ceremony location or somewhere else? and if so how early? Do you do them early enough before guests show up or right before while they are arriving? I'm getting married in the Catholic church as well, and was a little surprised when I learned that they actually recommend bride and groom walk in together (I've been to a couple in the church and as far as I remember the groom started at the alter). I'm not sure if I would prefer that vs the "traditional" way. But if FI and I did walk in together, I think "first looks" would be a good idea.
Posted by caiti2u[/QUOTE]

We did ours before the ceremony and before the guests started to arrive. I think we ended up doing ours around 4 or so and our ceremony started at 6. We also used the time afterwards to do a lot of the bridal party shots and everything. I was so glad we did it because it really helped calm my nerves!

meghanttu08 · June 2011

Is that new or has that been going around with bride and groom entering together for a Catholic wedding? My cousin who was married last August as well, they did it the "traditional" way where he was at the alter. (yes it was done at a Catholic church in OK).

professorscience · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:23515870-9c1d-4f9e-88b4-eceb04064bb7">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm new to the whole idea of the "first look", so my question would be, when and where do you do them? Do you do them at your ceremony location or somewhere else? and if so how early? Do you do them early enough before guests show up or right before while they are arriving? I'm getting married in the Catholic church as well, and was a little surprised when I learned that they actually recommend bride and groom walk in together (I've been to a couple in the church and as far as I remember the groom started at the alter). I'm not sure if I would prefer that vs the "traditional" way. But if FI and I did walk in together, I think "first looks" would be a good idea.
Posted by caiti2u[/QUOTE]

I've been to plenty of catholic weddings and I've never seen a couple walk in this way. Were we to do a first look, we would probably have FI stand at the altar with his back to the entrance and I'd walk down to him. I had a friend who did this and the pictures were awesome!

@Ashlee: We will be doing the same thing! I love those pictures -- so sweet!
@Meghan: FI's mom is so serious about us not seeing each other at all that she rented rooms at a different hotel for FI to spend the night in and the GM to get ready.

ETA: And the book where we read this also said that most couples opt not to do this. I asked about it on the Catholic board and I don't think anyone said they walked in together, but nearly all of them thought about it. There's something about the idea of taking that walk with your daddy. =)

tam427 · June 2011

We did one, and I'm glad we did.

fallbride1109 · June 2011

Were we to do a first look, we would probably have FI stand at the altar with his back to the entrance and I'd walk down to him.

This is what my photographer suggested. I would walk down the aisle just like I would at the ceremony. Because our space outside ended up being covered, she actually moved Ben to a part of our ceremony space that was uncovered so it really didn't go as planned. But in my excitement I never even noticed and didn't even realize it until weeks after the wedding. And the pictures were much better this way.

I had even considered having music playing and holding my bouquet. But in the rush of the day, I didn't take my bouquet. It didn't matter though. But for girls that are on the fence, using your ceremony space and walking down the aisle to him with your bouquet is a good idea I think.

MLandCJ · June 2011

Now that I'm looking at this I realize that the blog post didn't have any pictures of DH face

Hopefully there will be some on the disc.

I loved it, although his reaction wasn't like OH ME GEE. He was super nervous and super hot. It was sweet and it was nice to have a moment just us.

It didn't affect his reaction when I walked down the aisle. When he said his vows he was on the edge of tears.

kristan1022 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:5b7db6b6-f0e0-4da3-986a-881b31273906">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>I considered a first look but FI has a strong opinion that he doesnt want to see me before i come down the aisle. Since this is one of the first things that he's actually been opinionated on the wedding. I decided to respect it and move on</strong>. I think we will be doing a "first touch" though. i doubt it's called that...but i have dubbed it that. Similar to this: we can still get a few pictures before hand. but we dont have to see each other :)
Posted by bigbabyface[/QUOTE]

<div>THIS! Jeremy really doesn't voice his opinion about anything related to the wedding (no matter how much I ask him) so the fact that he actually HAD an opinion about this was the deciding factor. Of course I am super traditional, so I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to do a first look anyway. I know I will be crying all the way down the aisle regardless.</div><div>
</div><div>We are definitely doing pictures like bigbabyface discussed, where you don't actually "see" each other but you can get some pictures beforehand. I think that will be fun :)</div>

maglinpa · June 2011

We are not doing a first look. I asked FI and he very quickly said "no". I like the idea of them in the time that it saves and the private moment, but I also like the thought that he will see me for the first time with the rest of the guests.

He says that he wants to follow the tradition. He says he will not get emotional when he sees me. I beleive that--he is not sappy at all. I guess 24 years in the Navy takes that out of you. I think he just does not want to interrupt his dart game with his GM.

MarieSD · June 2011

Thanks Stephie!

I love his face in that picture. He's not an emotional guy AT ALL, but I think I see his feelings in his face on that one.

As for the Catholic walking-in-together thing -- I have no idea, but this might just vary by church. In my church (which is not Catholic) the front of the church is empty when the service begins, then the procession starts with the church clergy coming in first (there were several -- I want to say 5-6 clergy that walked in first). DH followed our pastor in, then the bridal party, then me.

nickandmerritt · June 2011

We did a first look, and I don't regret it at all. You basically get to have the same moment you would have seeing each other for the first time, but in private. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to go, but for us the moments we got to see each other before the ceremony were so special, and didn't make the ceremony any less special for us.

marksle84 · June 2011

As you can see it definitly is preference.

My FI is very traditional. He has a strong opinion that he only wants to see me walk down the aisle with everyone there. My mom also has said that when my sister got married they did a first look and it was just akward. They saw each other and 5 seconds later it was like ok, lets get these pictures over with. Now this is just their personality I'm sure. But out of my own fear and doubt of taking anything away from our ceremony we planned a cocktail hour for guests after and we're taking as many pictures seperatly before the ceremony.

Amanda667 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:6953fd8e-0d0d-4ea3-8183-6ece20bfa604">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First Look?? : I think most people that have done a First Look would disagree and say that you still get that anticipation either way.
Posted by TexanTreasure08[/QUOTE]

I have to agree here. Alas, I still havent decided what to do! :/

savvy_savs · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:8db9291e-3435-4645-86de-ad455884d388">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE]During our Engaged Encounter,<strong> FI and I learned that it is actually the preferred tradition in the catholic church for the couple to enter together, both because the priest should be the last to enter and because the couple enters the marriage together -- as consenting people, not as a bride given to the groom as an object. </strong> We seriously considered doing our processional this way, giving a lot of weight to the fact that it would definitely reduce the nerves (I know I will be a nervous wreck). Had we chosen this processional, we definitely would have opted for a "first look" and pictures before the ceremony. In the end, however, we both just felt so strongly about seeing each other for the first time as I head down the aisle (plus I couldn't stand to not have my dad escort me), that we decided to go the traditional route. So we will not be doing a first look. And I will probably cry my little eyes out all the way, and hopefully he will too. =) It really depends on your preference. I have brought up the idea of doing a first look several times for the sake of convenience, but neither FI nor I wants to lose that sense of anticipation just to save a half hour.
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

My priest mentioned this too! I was just having this conversation with my photog as to what her view are on it. She loves it and says that the couples feel more at ease. FI and I are both up for it...it's just my super traditional mom and sis that are not. They think that I'm doing it just to be different. I think it's a sweet, personal, and meaningful moment to see that person, and just that person, a few moments before you both declare your lives to each other. I really want to do this the more I think about it.

professorscience · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:b482d7dc-5c68-4d43-bafd-f8b8307629efPost:1e54816c-d73b-403e-b6c8-479a6861ea25">Re: First Look??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First Look?? : My priest mentioned this too! I was just having this conversation with my photog as to what her view are on it. She loves it and says that the couples feel more at ease. FI and I are both up for it...it's just my super traditional mom and sis that are not. <strong>They think that I'm doing it just to be different. </strong>I think it's a sweet, personal, and meaningful moment to see that person, and just that person, a few moments before you both declare your lives to each other. I really want to do this the more I think about it.
Posted by savvy_savs[/QUOTE]

<div>If you want, I can give you a link to an explanation of the Rite of Marriage so you can show your mom you're actually just doing what the church says. =)</div>

First Look??

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