April 2012 Weddings

Are we planning "right"?

So my FH and I got engaged July 31, 2010 and are getting married April 27th 2012 and because I am still in graduate school we haven't really done to much in the area of planning. We decided on colors, a first draft guest list, started on invites, looked online at venues, and ordered random on sale things here and there....but nothing is 'done'. Now I know that we have a lot of time until the wedding but a lot of what we have done has been done by me since I live an hour away from my fiance. 

Yesterday I went and tried on dresses with my girls, but it just seemed to whirl by and even though my mom says I have made some decisions about what I like and don't, I can't help but feel like it made me even more confused.

I guess my question is, am I doing this right? I mean I got engaged, called people, posted ring pics, but then we didn't have a party or anything. I went back to school and he went back to life with wedding plugged in as we had a chance. I just want to make sure I enjoy this process and captivate as much as possible and I can't help but have this feeling I am not doing something right....help?!

Re: Are we planning "right"?

  • Welcome!

    I'm not sure there is any right way to plan a wedding.  You don't have to have an engagement party at all, so not having a party isn't a big deal.  Part of the benefit of a longer engagement is that you can do wedding things occasionally when you get the chance instead of all the time, so again, no worries there.

    In terms of order, I would say book vendors first, and start with your ceremony/reception location.  Your date can't really be set in stone until you have a place to get married, right? After that, start looking at photographers, officiants, DJs, etc.  and start signing contracts and paying deposits so you know those vendors are yours for the day. Vendors can book far in advance, so doing this early in planning is a good idea, imo.  Then, you can worry about things like invites (which don't need to be sent until 2 months before the wedding or so, so you have tons of time on that), the dress, etc.

    I'd also stop buying random things online until you have a venue set.  Once you have a place, you can really envision what you will need/not need and then decide on all the little decor things.

    And for what it's worth, I live 8 hrs from my FI, and I'm in grad school as well.  We did things in the order I'm telling you and slowly over the last 7 months have figured out our venue, officiant, photographer, and DJ with minimal stress.
  • Hi! Congrats!
    Thats pretty much the same thing that happend with me. We didnt have an engagement party or anything either.My mind immediately went to dress,maids colors.You are doing nothing wrong.We got engaged 8/9/10 and just began looking at venues together last week. And we just got our budget settled last week too. We are planning for fri the 13th.

    Create a budget FIRST! Even before you buy anything else. IDK how your FI is about helping but what i did as do the research then narrow decisions down for him to pick from. ex venues. I did all the research based on what we talked about then brought him a list of someplaces we may like. That way he may actually be of some use.lol

    Again, you aren't doing ANYTHING wrong! Enjoy every step of the process. Buy a cheesy keepsake book or planning book and write down your ideas and research everything.

    I also agree with the above post.
    Happy planning!!!!!
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  • Congrats and welcome to the board. While there is no right or wrong way to plan a wedding using the to do list the knot provides is very helpful in timeline of major things to get done. It sounds like you are well on your way with the planning. My suggestions quit buying random things!!!!! You dont want to do this until you have a location for sure. You wont know what the backround aka the venue looks like till you have booked it so you dont want to shop for decor items until you know what decor you need and want. Also I know you have your colors but have you thought of a wedding theme as this usually plays heavy into the type of decor, cake, invites, and other things. And before you go any further you need to set your budget. However large or small that may be its very important as this is your ultimate what can I do guide. As far as enjoying this whole process my advice to you is take your time. I know we get caught up and excited to do do do but then we burn out. We have so long till our weddings you should do things one at a time to keep from getting over extended to early. Also if you feel yourself getting stressed or just not having fun take a weekend or a week off from planning. We have the time to do so. Good luck and congrats again and I hope to hear more as you progress with your planning!

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  • Thanks for all your suggestions. It is nice to get a little reassurance. After rereading my post I realized that I forgot to include a few things that my FH and I have done. For instance we have selected the venue and have the list narrowed on reception locations. As for the random things, I have really only purchased flower petals in our color because they are hard to find. I didn't mean to make it sound like I have a closet full of impulse purchases. I am doing a lot of DIY projects and so I love that we have the time to do them with minimal stress. I just haven't seen anything come together so I guess I started to panic. 

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