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FI having family issues

Seestar01Seestar01 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My FI and I did not stay for his nephews entire b-day party a YEAR ago.  Since then his brother and sister-in-law have ignored us.  A few months ago his brother reconnected with him and when we told him we were engaged, he was geniunely happy for us.  But his SIL was like "oh, yeah, that's great" with a fake smile on her face and a tone that sounded more like "yeah whatever".  So to add insult to injury, we have not been invited to his nephews b-day this year.  It's 2 days away and my FI's brother will not even return his call? 
 I am so over it with my FI's brother and his wife.  We love their kids, but I am becoming bitter and do NOT want to invite them to our wedding if they are to continue ignoring us.  We have a year to see how things turn out before the wedding.  But am I being petty about not wanting them there?
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Re: FI having family issues

  • opalsky007opalsky007 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I would be the bigger person and just invite them. If they're really that petty, they'll just decline the invite.
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  • andyandhillaryandyandhillary member
    1000 Comments
    Agreed with Opalsky.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Yes you are being just as petty and immature as they are.  It's your FI's brother, you HAVE to invite him to your wedding.  What does your FI think about this?  It's not just up to you you know.
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  • FemlinFemlin member
    10 Comments
    edited May 2010
    Ditto Opal.
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  • Seestar01Seestar01 member
    First Comment
    I agree with all of you.  Who knows.  If we do invite them they probably won't respond anyhow.  But at least we tried.  FI is thinking twice about inviting them as well.  We have a year to see  how things turn out.
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  • BrideofBigSurBrideofBigSur
    100 Comments
    Invite 'em. Socially it's a bigger dis to be left out of a wedding, since it only happens once. The kid will have more birthdays. If you invite them and they don't show up or respond, then at least the ball is in their court, and you are the gracious one who extended the olive branch.
    We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fish bowl, year after year
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  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    1000 Comments
    Did they ever flat out TELL you that the reason they fell out of touch a bit was because you left the party early?  From the way you've described it here, I think the sister in law just doesn't like you, or both of you, for whatever reason.   Sometimes there's just nothing you can do about that.

    Not being invited to a second birthday party isn't really a snub.  A lot of parents invite EVERYONE to the first birthday and then limit it.  If you didn't show great interest in being at the first one, aren't on super regular friendly terms with them, and don't have children that age yourself - it wouldn't seem at all odd to me for you to not be invited.

    As for the wedding, I think it'd be silly to just NOT invite them over what may be self-invented drama.  Right now you've got suspicion of snubbing and a possible fake congratulations.  That's not a ton to go on.

    Good luck.
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