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Wedding Etiquette Forum
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[Deleted User]
member
FMIL
I know this is the etiquette board, but I need to talk.......
Is anyone else's future mother in law making everything stressful? I just want to cancel everything, no matter what we are planning there is always issues. She is talking about the RD and wants to get it booked now, I emailed her a list of who to invite "as of then" months ago but we hadn't added all of our bridal party and our reader. Today she comes over and tells us where she wants to have it and that she is only inviting the people on the list that we sent over 5 months ago as a "as of now" list to give her an estimate. There are four people that need to be added, my aunt and uncle will be reading and two dates for the groomsmen. But she is saying I don't care we are not adding anyone else on sorry... that's what is within our budget. I said well we will talk about it but we went over our guest count to add all of your friends in for the wedding and we switched it from a Thursday to a Friday for you.... URGH
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FMIL
[QUOTE]Well these people are apart of our wedding party. We can't only invite some of our bridal party. We told her thank you but we will plan it and pay for it because we want everyone in our bridal party included, and she said no..... I understand she is paying for it but I do not agree.
Posted by halie520[/QUOTE]
If the money is going to come with these types of strings, it is always better to just pay for it yourself.<div>
</div>
2. You're right. Those people need to be invited. I suggest you pay for and plan your own RD so that you can invite all the people that need to be invited. And she said "no?" Tell her her choice is to invite all the relevant people or let you pay for it.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]1. Even though you did it for her, it was still your choice to change your dates and invite extra people. It's unfortunate she can't return the favor for you, but no one MADE you do those things. 2. You're right. Those people need to be invited. I suggest you pay for and plan your own RD so that you can invite all the people that need to be invited. And she said "no?" T<strong>ell her her choice is to invite all the relevant people or let you pay for it. </strong>
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
<div>This. She needs to see that these are her only options. I realize that she was difficult when you previously tried to decline the RD she was throwing, but I think if you and your FI or just your FI make it clear to her that if she can't invite all the people who will be part of the rehearsal and their dates, you will pay for it, and those are the <em>only </em>options, that should solve your problem.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL : That doesn't mean that she can leave out the people who actually will be AT THE REHEARSAL. <strong> (And their SOs - dates are not necessary to invite to a RD unless they are OOT and will be in the area anyway.)</strong>
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]
I disagree with the bolded part. They need to be invited to the RD.
Unless the children are in the wedding, they do not need to be invited. If you have children who ARE in the wedding, you need to invite their parents.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FMIL : Well I guess I was thinking in the interest of keeping the RD guest list down. Does a random date really need to be there, especially if they are only going to the wedding because the couple decided to extend +1s to every single guest?
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]
In cases such as this I would think that it should be up to the WP member in question to decide whether or not to bring his/her random date, but the host should still give the option. An invitation is not a summons. JMO.