Am I going overboard?

AbeandCarrie · April 2012

I have this crazy need to make to-do lists. Today I had this idea that I should make a to do list for the bridal party and our parents. I started working on it and then I thought that this may be a little overboard. What do you think?

chelseakopperud · April 2012

I did this once.... my parents laughed at me and pulled out their own checklist and told me to back off. haha!

ETA: Do not do a list for the bridal party unless one of the asks you for one.

rikkidawn28 · April 2012

it might be nice to give them a small to do list as long as it is not too rigid.

futuremrsbecerra · April 2012

i don't see a problem with making a to do list for yourself but i think passing out to do lists for your bridal party might be a little overboard. they also might think that you are becoming crazy. Depending on how your parents are, it might be ok for them. my mom would love if i made her a to do list but i'm just having one for myself to know what needs to get done. you could make one for your bridal party/ parents but keep it for you and then when something comes up on the list that needs to get done then i would let them know that they need to do a certain task to make sure they have it done.

edw7479 · April 2012

I'm not sure how I feel about to-do lists for your bridal party. Unless they ask for one. Because, honestly, there is nothing they have to do other than show up. Unless they have already agreed to do a certain number of things for you. But, I bet if they have agreed to do it for you, they won't forget. Because, they aren't nearly as stressed as we are at the moment! :-)

daria24 · April 2012

If I was a BM and the bride handed me a to do list, I would probably laugh and tear it up. I would just make a "master" list of everything that needs to get done, and if your WP or parents volunteer, make note of who the task was assigned to. And have extra copies of that list available for anyone who requests one.

AbeandCarrie · April 2012

Thanks! The lists are mostly reminders for day-of things. I originally thougth about making one for FI's brother (and GM) becasue he clearly can't keep himself organized. Then I thought that it would be rude just to give one to him. Items on the list are things like "try on your tux before you leave the store" and arrive at the church at 12:30. IDK... I think I am starting to stress a little because he clearly can't get anything done on time. He is over a month late getting measured for his tux because he says he cant afford it. If this were realy the case I would offer to pay for it in a second, but he has made several extravagent purchases (like a 4th guitar) in the last two months causing him to not be able to afford his tux....

Sorry, I guess I just needed to vent there

Ash61612 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_am-i-going-overboard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a4ca568d-e9c4-4b7d-b1f6-b6cda0295faaPost:c19d4d7d-5c32-4043-b083-5bb5a18b3018">Re: Am I going overboard?</a>:
[QUOTE]I did this once.... my parents laughed at me and pulled out their own checklist and told me to back off. haha! ETA:<strong> Do not do a list for the bridal party unless one of the asks you for one.
</strong>Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

agree. no one in your bridal party is "required" to do anything on your wedding day but stand beside you and smile in pics. Unless they offer to help.

HarperBargo · April 2012

My sister/MOH is more than willing to help out. However, I think she would laugh in my face if I gave her a to-do list.

Zimsgirl · April 2012

I wouldn't do a to do list for your BMs. They're not obligated to do extra stuff. I'd make a timeline for them for the day of and say if you want to help with "X" then let me know

michellep1 · April 2012

It sounds like instead of a to-do list, you really want to make a "day-of reminder list", which I don't think is too crazy. If certain people need to be certain places and likely won't remember or won't be with other people that will remind them, I think it's ok to give them a little piece of paper with vital info. You can include directions or something to make it clear that it's for their benefit, not yours. It's sort of like giving everyone a day-of timeline, with little reminders built in.

kelsey+brandon · April 2012

I think a wedding weekend timeline is perfectly okay...where to be and when and what's going on. Having them do specific things that you assign without them offering is not okay.

michelletobin · April 2012

From experience LOL, I tried to text my FI a "to do list" for him and the GM and to say the least, it caused a fight that I never want to experience again. My FI thought I was trying to be controlling and was untrusting of him and his GM. So now I just ask my FI what all he has going on and if he "forgets" to mention something i feel is important, I try to gently ask what he has in mind for whatever it is. The other day I still didn't know if they had gotten their clothes bought so I asked him, "hey did you guys ever get to pick out what you wanted to wear?" For my side, whenever I think of something, I just shoot out a text or if I see them I mention the things I have left and ask if anyone can help or if they have ideas or I tell them what I'm working on and I almost always get a volunteer.

Sscholfield · April 2012

I think it's a good idea to provide a timeline of your day for the bridal party so they know what's going on and don't ask you every 2 minutes, but a to-do list might be over the top. Seems a bit bossy/bridezilla-ish to me. You know your friends though, and if you think they would appreciate it, or find it helpful I say go for it!

melntaitt · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_am-i-going-overboard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:a4ca568d-e9c4-4b7d-b1f6-b6cda0295faaPost:41678408-efb0-40db-97d1-bd9bb18378d4">Re: Am I going overboard?</a>:
[QUOTE]It sounds like instead of a to-do list, you really want to make a "day-of reminder list", which I don't think is too crazy. If certain people need to be certain places and likely won't remember or won't be with other people that will remind them, I think it's ok to give them a little piece of paper with vital info. You can include directions or something to make it clear that it's for their benefit, not yours. It's sort of like giving everyone a day-of timeline, with little reminders built in.
Posted by michellep1[/QUOTE]

This!

And it might look like this-
3 pm - WP makeup at venue
4 pm - Bride's makeup
5 pm - WP pictures

etc....

mashavoo · April 2012

i wouldn't recommend doing a list...maybe talk to whoever you want specific things done...lpeople might get offended by a list....seems pushy...BM don't really have to do anything if they don't want to. They are doing alot by agreeeing to be in the wedding

precamies · April 2012

i think that a to-do list is alright as long as it is suggestive not mandating. you know, you don't want to seem controlling

what I'm doing is, I'm making the day-of timelines for the wedding party with a "forget me not" checklist on the bottom. This is because most of our friends and family are involved in some way or another with the set-up or tasks that they have volunteered for. I decided to do this because several of them asked me for step-by-step directions to make sure that everything goes smoothly.

Am I going overboard?

Re: Am I going overboard?

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