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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Fight at Reception & more

My only brother is getting married at this point in 6wks, i got married on May 1st. I get along really well with him and his future wife...however the entire time he was around for my wedding all she did was talk about thier wedding..thier wedding this thier wedding that and just seemed to undermine the whole time it was actually going on cuz all they could talk to anyone about was thier own upcoming wedding. Now that kinda peeved the Hubby off but as usual I was willing to let it go....But then at the reception she was feeling neglected and had a wee bit too much to drink and proceeded to have  like an hour and a half fight with my brother cuz he wasn't spending enough time with her. Now I didn't say anything that night and all I knew was that they were fighting and causing a scene at the reception to the point where people were talking about "the guy in the wedding party that's fighting with some girl".  So it was obvious enough that people noticed. 

Then when we got back i was talking to FSIL and i asked her about the fight and she said "i'd hoped you'd forgotten" (like she knows she did something wrong) and proceeded to explain that she was having issues and just kept making up excuses but never bothered to apologize....is it wrong of me to want to stage my own 'fight' at thier wedding and to take a huge photo album and show it off and talk about my wedding the whole time? I'm furious with the fact that everyone just wants to sweep it under the rug, should i expect an apology? Ask for one?
What would you do?

Thanks

Ps other than that my wedding day was AMAZING!
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Re: Fight at Reception & more

  • I would tell her how you feel. Tell her your bothered by the way she was acting and that it hurt your feelings she was centered on herself and her own issues on your wedding day. I wouldnt sweep it under the rug, after all she is going to be family soon and you dont want grudges. If she then doesnt offer an apology just realize that she is not mature enough to own up to her mistakes. Dont stoop to her level by doing the same thing at their wedding. That wouldnt make anything better and you would probably feel bad after the fact. Hope this helps!
  • If you want to, go talk to her about it.  Let her know it hurt your feelings.  She might not realize how much it bothered you.
  • You really really need to move past it. Yes, it's wrong of you.  You have to spend every holiday ever with this person I'm guessing so you're not going to want to start off on the wrong foot and start a little rivalry that grows and gets worse.  Your wedding was awesome.  Let it go.  
  • She may not have been talking about her wedding the whole time as an attempt to distract people from how awesome your's was.  There may have been people who were asking about her's.  When my FI and I go to weddings there is always people making comments about ours coming up really soon and asking about the planning....a couple of times it has even been the mother of the bride/groom. Just keep that in mind.  As for the fight yes she was wrong to make a big deal about it in front of everyone else but its not something you can help.  Your brother is the one who has to live with her now and if he can let it go I suggest you do to because as it has been mentioned you will be spending holidays with this lady and if there is any tension then she may pick a fight with you in front of the family and try to make you look bad.


  • that really sucks but don't retaliate. Be the bigger person no matter how hard it is :)
  • Ok i'm not crazy, I would never do that but I gotta admit that talking about it has been kinda fun!  I will talk to her about it when I get a chance, I just felt like for once it was my time to have my day and it had to be upstaged by something rediculous ya know!  This was more a vent than an actual thing that I would do.  I just wanted to know if I was justified to be thinking the way that i am...

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_fight-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:d3b43ae4-f703-4766-aa0d-f815463deb84Post:de3a89f5-1aef-47a5-b0bd-a682cd5b14ac">Re: Fight at Reception & more</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok i'm not crazy, I would never do that but I gotta admit that talking about it has been kinda fun!  I will talk to her about it when I get a chance, I just felt like for once it was my time to have my day and it had to be upstaged by something rediculous ya know!  This was more a vent than an actual thing that I would do.  I just wanted to know if I was justified to be thinking the way that i am...
    Posted by nyema_83[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, it sucks that she acted that way, but there were 2 people involved in the fight for it to carry on as it did.

    Let it go and be the bigger person.

    she may have been talking about her own wedding as a way for her to relate or feel like she fit in.  When someone mentions a detail or plan about a wedding, it's pretty natural for another bride (past or upcoming) to at least compare or comment if only in the back of their mind.
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  • be true to yourself, otherwise you will regret it and dont stoop to her level.

  • My cousin who is planning his own wedding didn't RSVP to mine and I had to chase him down.  I really REALLY wanted to not RSVP and make them ask me but I couldn't do it.  Just as you know the right answers to your questions I did too.  It is fun to think about it though!
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