Lingerie? When do you receive this?

bellabananas · March 2012

I have been lurking on this board and noticed an inconsistency about gifts at bachelorette parties. At what time would it be appropriate to give/receive lingerie? I am planning on having a family shower in the summer and a younger crowd bachelorette party two weeks out from the wedding. Not to sound greedy but I would enjoy receiving lingerie and having one of those silly/sexy parties but I want it to be with the younger crowd. Earlier I came to the conclusion (after help from some other brides) that it makes more sense to have my second part be a bachelorette party instead of another shower. Is it appropriate to expect lingerie at that? Or should I revert back to having two bridal showers, and the second one being a honeymoon theme?

ceh789 · March 2012

A shower is a party with the specific purpose of giving gifts to the bride. A bachelorette is a party with the specific purpose of partying it up with the bride - typically the gift is your presence and buying a drink or two for the bride, perhaps contributing toward a hotel room. In some social circles physical gifts are also given but it is not required - I would usually give a gift at a b-party but not lingerie, that's a higher $$ item than a b-party gift to me.

If you want lingerie more than you want a party, have a lingerie shower. Just don't plan either event yourself - I'm assuming the hostess has asked which party you would prefer?

bellabananas · March 2012

I currently have two ladies who want to host parties for me, and want me to help plan them so I'm trying to cover all my bases before we set anything in stone. Both of them are really kind of leaving it up to me so I feel like it's my responsibility to do the planning! So the proper way of describing it is a lingerie shower? I've also heard it called a honeymoon shower. Thanks! Any other suggestions are welcome!

ceh789 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lingerie-when-do-you-receive-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5e523509-6384-40d9-8c71-c34839607b57Post:c95cfc3f-7105-4dbf-bb94-65cd509ceb2b">Re: Lingerie? When do you receive this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I currently have two ladies who want to host parties for me, and want me to help plan them so I'm trying to cover all my bases before we set anything in stone. Both of them are really kind of leaving it up to me so I feel like it's my responsibility to do the planning! So the proper way of describing it is a lingerie shower? I've also heard it called a honeymoon shower. Thanks! Any other suggestions are welcome!
Posted by bellabananas[/QUOTE]
It is not appropriate for them to leave it up to you. They should ask you for the guest list after telling you the number of guests they are willing to host. It is also fine to agree on a theme and of course, timing. Please lurk these boards some more (WP and E are good) to read the horror stories that result when brides plan their own pre-wedding parties.<div>
</div><div>I've always heard it called a lingerie shower - if I got an invitation to a honeymoon shower I would assume you wanted money to pay for your honeymoon and I would not attend.</div>

jessicabessica · March 2012

You can give input as to what you might like and can give a list of potential guests, once the hostess tells you how many people they would like to host, but don't get into planning all of the details. You can ask the hostess if she would feel comfortable hosting a lingerie shower (this is how I've always heard it referred to).

hoffse · March 2012

It's a lingerie shower, not a honeymoon shower. If you had a honeymoon shower I'd probably show up with beach towels or something. And ditto PP: make sure your hostess is comfortable hosting one of those. Some people are, some people aren't. If she is comfortable with it, then make sure YOU are comfortable with her putting your sizes on the invitation. Personally, while I don't mind receiving lingerie I don't really like opening it in front of people, and I wouldn't want them to know what size I am.

To me bach parties are like PP said: a time to buy the bride a drink and maybe split cab/limo/hotel room for her. It's true some people do physical gifts during them but not in my circle. If you've never been to a bach party with physical gifts it probably doesn't happen in your circle either.

rlavach · March 2012

I just can't understand lingerie showers. Maybe because I didn't have one. I am not shy, I just don't like the idea of other people buying these things for me & then thinking of me using it. Plus, I'm a difficult size that isn't always carried in stores, so I would be doing a lot of returning.

I had a bridal shower & one guest got me a VS card. That's it. I'm not having a bachelorette, but I've also never seen gifts given at one.

HobokensFury · March 2012

I'm kind of wierded out on the whole buying lingerie for someone else. Many guest may also be so I don't believe in lingerie showers. My mom bought me a pretty bridal nightgown at my bridal shower but it was nothing scandalous. Next month I've been invited to a bachalorette party and we've been asked to bring a pair of sexy underwear for the bride. I don't think I'l be attending.

bexyd99 · March 2012

In my home town it is the norm to give gifts at the bachelorette party as well. Bachelorette parties start with dinner and then gifts after dinner, which consist of usually spa items or lingerie.

rgomez27941 · March 2012

My family (mom, gma, aunt) is throwing me my regular bridal shower, my MOH is throwing me a specific lingerie party with a few of my younger, fun friends. We used this invitation to be pretty specific about the party: http://www.etsy.com/listing/93473058/vintage-lingerie-party-invitationsbridal We're doing about 3 months out from the wedding, and a month before the regualr shower. The invitation also includes an insert with the sizes that I wear. We are going to do a bachelorette party closer to wedding with dinner and dancing. I'm not expecting to receive gifts at the bachelorette party.

bellabananas · March 2012

Thanks ladies! You have provided me with lots of suggestions and commentary. Hopefully I can get this all hammered out before the invites go out! And that etsy invite is so cute!

mbrischoux · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_lingerie-when-do-you-receive-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5e523509-6384-40d9-8c71-c34839607b57Post:2c9efe23-5adb-4e7e-bb2c-a5024ef6edcf">Re: Lingerie? When do you receive this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just can't understand lingerie showers. Maybe because I didn't have one. I am not shy, <strong>I just don't like the idea of other people buying these things for me & then thinking of me using it.</strong> Plus, I'm a difficult size that isn't always carried in stores, so I would be doing a lot of returning. I had a bridal shower & one guest got me a VS card. That's it. I'm not having a bachelorette, but I've also never seen gifts given at one.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Me too! I gopt some from my mom at my shower (the traditional bridal lingerie) and all I could think of was my mom at Macy's holding up different nighties and thinking, "Gee, which one would my new son-in-law think looks better on my daughter?" Creepy!

ootmother2 · March 2012

My SIL gave the Lingerie Shower, pretty much the same as any other shower other than it had a theme. The other showers were all gifts to the couple, things from their registry mostly.

I also took her shopping, told her to pick up what she wanted for her HM and meet me at the register so that I could pay. I did see a couple of cute things and passed them to her when she was in the fitting room.

mdeidre · March 2012

I attended a lingerie themed shower, but the invitation said lingerie, a favorite recipe or marital advice. Some people gave gift cards, some got really naughty with the lingerie. What I gave was more like a night gown, it was tame, but very pretty. Also, this particular bride was very religious and she and her FI had been celibate for their entire relationship, so she had no lingerie at all. I'm in the same boat and would like a lingerie shower. I've never heard of a honeymoon shower and I think that may be a regional way of saying it or a euphamism someone made up because saying lingerie made them uncomfortable.

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

I think it really varies with region & social circles whether lingerie is ever given as a gift, whether it is at a shower specifically for that or at a bachelorette party.

I've never attended or been invited to a lingerie shower.

At the bachelorette parties I've attended, gift giving seems to vary - at the ones I've been to, a lot of people bring gifts. Some of those gifts are lingerie or other "adult" thing, some of them aren't. I have no problem buying lingerie for a close friend.

My MOH is planning my bachelorette party, but has been very tight lipped about everything. All she wanted was a date I was available, a guest list, and my lingerie sizes....so I have a feeling lingerie might be involved! I'm not a big lingerie wearer so I don't have a lot, but I just look at it as an opportunity to try something new.

Lingerie? When do you receive this?

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