Wedding Etiquette Forum

Stag party questions

I made a comment that stag parties are just another form of fund-raising for a wedding, and a guy friend of mine said that it's not always true.  He told me to think about it as a bachelorette party, and isn't it ok that the girls pay their own way at a bachelorette party?  His argument was that unless the tickets are $30 and higher, the money is being used to pay for a good time - alcohol, food, table games, raffle prizes, etc.  So how is it any different from a bachelorette party at a spa where the guests have to pay for their own services? 

Re: Stag party questions

  • You honestly don't know how this board feels about this?

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  • I'm not paying to go to someone else's party. Period. I'll foot the bill if I'm throwing the party, but other than that, no.
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  • NebbNebb member
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    Stag and doe, jack and jill, whatever you call it. if you are fundraising money from your friends to pay for your PARTY, you are a sick and greedy individual. NO ONE but the bride and groom sould be paying for the wedding, and if they have trouble with that then they suck at budgeting.
  • Because the bride and groom aren't keeping the money from their bachelor/bachelorette parties.  I've never been to a stag and doe party and they're not common in my region, but from other people on this board it seems like the couple does keep the proceeds from the stag and doe parties.  So that's the difference.
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  • I don't think I understand what this is... is it like a Bachelor party, but people have to buy tickets to attend?  If so, that's stupid.
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  • I think the big difference is with a spa day, you're paying to have your self pampered, for yourself while enjoying the company of the bride.

    With a stag or whatever you're paying for a wedding.  Huge difference.
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  • Why would you need to buy tickets to go to the party?  Why not when you get there, just pay for your own food and drinks?
  • Yeah I think the big difference is that I haven't actually paid to get INTO a party since college.  At bach parties the guests pay for the services they use (food, drinks, spa services, whatever) which gives them some discretion over what they're spending.  Although I've never been to one, it doesn't sound like you have any choice at a Stag and Doe.  I would never pay admission to a regular party thrown by one of my friends.
  • It's fairly common for people to pay their own way at bachelor/bachelorette parties, but when they do, they are buying their own food/drinks/show tickets.  They don't buy tickets from the host.  

    Selling tickets to a party is pretty tacky, regardless of whether they are making a profit or not.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-party-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0197cb47-7739-49e3-bac8-a7b34b79e85aPost:5500a401-4774-46b4-bec2-7aec68bfad96">Re: Stag party questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's fairly common for people to pay their own way at bachelor/bachelorette parties, but when they do, they are buying their own food/drinks/show tickets.  They don't buy tickets from the host.   <strong>Selling tickets to a party is pretty tacky, regardless of whether they are making a profit or not.  </strong>
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. I wouldn't have a party at my house and charge all my friends $10 to cover the alcohol and food. It's one thing to go OUT and split the bill, but if you are HOSTING a party, you need to provide for it. So a stag and doe violates etiquette on several fronts. Plus, is it something the B&G usually throw for themselves? If so, that's another tacky component...
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  • I thought 'stag' was just another term used to describe buck's or bach parties. I gather I was wrong?
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