this is the code for the render ad
Community› Local Wedding Boards› California-San Diego
California-San Diego
New Discussion

Walking myself down the aisle... need advice!

Alora1331Alora1331
First Comment
in California-San Diego
(sorry for this rant of sorts or if this doesnt make sense!!)

I have been tring to do some research on other women who walk themselves down the aisle. since my parents got divorced 4 years ago I have had almost no relationship with my father. Even as a child we never had a great relationship. Up until a year ago I did not want to invite him to my wedding, but now that my anger towards him has seattled I am not opposed to having him come to the wedding. But because I plan to invite him, I think people will expect him to walk me down the aisle. My moms side doesnt think like this, nor does my fiances family, but my dads side of the family think i'm crazy and that hes a great father who loves me and that I just pushed him out for no reason. 

So after I got engaged I told my mom that I was going to walk myself down the aisle. she wasnt 100% behind this idea, and she told me that my uncles would step in. I think it would be weird to have my dad sitting there while another person walks me down the aisle because I think he would be very hurt by this (my dad is very delusional). Even though he makes no effort to right our relationship, I still think he would want or expects to be asked to walk me. So thats why I wanted to forgo this who thing and walk myself. I just dont know why people think this is weird. Any advice on this? has anyone else walked themself?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Walking myself down the aisle... need advice!

  • S6ixS6ix
    100 Comments
    I've never seen it, but if you aren't close to your dad, he does not need to walk you. Would you be happy if your mom walked you? Would she? I would say, if you can, make sure your dad knows the plan ahead of time, so as to avoid any weirdness at the ceremony itself.
    Report Reply
  • mdr619mdr619 member
    10 Comments
    What if you and your fiance walk down the aisle together?  I've seen that done many times!
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • alhoffman10alhoffman10 member
    10 Comments
    I think he would be hurt if another man walked you down the aisle but maybe your mom could walk you.
    Report Reply
  • Alora1331Alora1331
    First Comment
    thanks for the responses and suggestions!

    Yeah I agree, I dont want any of my uncles to walk me becuase although we are on great terms, we are not close. If anyone walks me I would most likely ask my mom. Since the fiance and I are not doing first looks I want to surpise him by walking down and having him see me then. We are a bit more traditional in this respect. 

    also deffinatly not looking forward to talking to my dad about the situation.... too much drama for me. (im the avoiding type of person)

    I am pretty close with my fiances mom as well, would it be weird to have both moms walk me? I'm marrying her only child and I want to incorporate her into the wedding since she doesnt have a daughter to do these things with. thoughts on this?
    Report Reply
  • McRogolMcRogol member
    100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Since you're asking, here's what I think...

    It's your wedding - do what feels good and right to you.  If that means asking your mom - ask your mom.  If that means asking both moms - ask both moms.  If that means walking alone - walk alone. 

    I find myself questioning a lot of wedding "must-do" and asking, "says who?"  This is your life event to mark in the way that feels right to you.  I hope no matter what feels like the right thing to do, you do it. 

    Best of luck!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Alora1331Alora1331
    First Comment
    thanks, I was thinking the same as you McRogol, why do I need to do the norm when I've never done anything that's considered the "norm". I need to give this issue a lot of thought and consideration. I don't want to upset anyone, but I have to do what I feel is best in my situation. many things to think about now. :] 
    Report Reply
  • SheliaPierceSheliaPierce member
    10 Comments

    I have coordinated weddings where the mom and dad walk the bride down the aisle, the dad and then the bride alone.  If its any consolation,with both of my parents passing before I got married, I walked myself down the aisle. And it was just fine! I've seen it before where all eyes are on the bride for her big moment and its completely okay because after all - it's your wedding!

    Report Reply
  • beanertonbeanerton
    10 Comments

    My sister did it this way. She started with my mom and halfway she switch to his and then his mom gave her to him, like passing the rite of gf to wife. But, you do what you feel comfortable in. It is your day. And remember, you tell everyone who has an opinion nicely "no, and I hope you respect my decision" and go from there.

    Best, Serena
    Report Reply
  • kyoung246kyoung246 member
    First Comment
    Alora1331, I'm doing the same thing. My parents aren't divorced, but I have a very similar dynamic with my dad and the rest of the family and family friends. I plan to walk myself down the aisle, but I also plan on not telling my family why. I'm going to talk my parents into it, and not really mention it to anyone outside the wedding party, then just do it on that day and answer questions later with phrases like "that's just how we decided to do it". If your family will go with it, you can always use the "I wanted to be independent and walk myself down the aisle".

    You know your family best, so just think about their point of view and come up with a reason that they can accept. At the end of the day, it's your wedding. Don't spend it pretending to be close to a dad who wasn't much of a dad.
    Report Reply
  • harrloydharrloyd member
    First Comment
    edited June 2012
    I have the same kinda drama, just want to walk alone and they think I am nuts, can't help you because I don't know what to do either. Just know you aren't alone!
    Report Reply
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I think the most important thing is how you'll feel as you're walking down the aisle. When I started planning my wedding with the coordinator, I realized how scary it was going to be walking down the aisle, with everyone watching me, and I'm so glad I'm going to have my dad to cling to.

    I definitely don't think your dad should do it, but I don't think you should go it alone just to placate him and his side of the family. I also don't think your uncle should walk you down the aisle if you're not really close. If I were you, I would choose the man who was closest to me in the world, whether he's friend or family.

    It's one of the biggest moments of your life.



    Anniversary
    image

    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards