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Soon to be Mom-in-law is CRAZY!

SLHedinSLHedin member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
So I want to say, I do honestly care for the future mom in law. I really do enjoy her  company and ect. BUT! Since my finacee and I became engaged- she is throwing out all of this advice from these cheap tacky halls to charging our guests $.25 a glass of beer "so they don't waste our money by setting the glass  down and just leave it" to all sorts of other thrify ideas that honestly make me cringe!
I get she is really just trying to help us  save money and cut cost corners. At the same time, her "ideas"  are starting to really annoy me. I honestly don't want her to feel left out of the proccess- but chick needs a reality check and I don't really know what to do. Don't want to be a jerk- but its not like she's paying for anything so why should it matter if we choose not to charge our guests to drink at our reception!!
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Re: Soon to be Mom-in-law is CRAZY!

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_soon-to-be-mom-in-law-is-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f8e03861-5e8d-42d9-b2de-9688f3ecb17aPost:85848527-62d1-4955-8d9a-4aea5d5525bf">Soon to be Mom-in-law is CRAZY!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I want to say, I do honestly care for the future mom in law. I really do enjoy her  company and ect. BUT! Since my finacee and I became engaged- she is throwing out all of this advice from these cheap tacky halls to charging our guests $.25 a glass of beer "so they don't waste our money by setting the glass  down and just leave it" to all sorts of other thrify ideas that honestly make me cringe! I get she is really just trying to help us  save money and cut cost corners. At the same time, her "ideas"  are starting to really annoy me. I honestly don't want her to feel left out of the proccess- but chick needs a reality check and I don't really know what to do. Don't want to be a jerk- but its not like she's paying for anything so why should it matter if we choose not to charge our guests to drink at our reception!!
    Posted by SLHedin[/QUOTE]

    If FMIL is not paying anything for the wedding, I would just start going with phrases like "Thank you for your opinion FMIL, I will discuss it with FI." or "We have to decided to go with daisys (chicken, DJ, etc) for flowers (dinner, music, etc.), but thanks for your suggestions."  Just accept that your FMIL is going to offer ideas that you don't agree with and move on.  There is much worse things a FMIL can do than offer suggestions against etiquette!
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm sorry, that's a tough spot. The best thibg to do is to limit how much of your plans you share with her, and to be vague when you give feedback on ideas. The only other thing you could perhaps do to help her feel included is to solicit her advice on something benign that won't impact guests. Ask her how to save on centerpeices, floral arrangements, etc. That way she feels included, but doesn't get invovled in something rude to guests.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • ladytoriladytori
    5 Love Its First Comment
    My MIL is very thrifty too and offered tons of "free" advice. Even though we didn't listen nor follow most of her opinions/advice, she did bring up a good idea about my bouquet that we did incorporate into the wedding. Your FMIL seems to be really excited, so try not to write off all of her ideas completely. She may come up with something brilliant.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Ditto Retread.  Ugh. And big hugs to you having to deal with that.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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